Wednesday, 6 May 2020

Welcome | Life in lockdown

Hello there,
Now if you're not new to this blog then you may be wondering where on earth all my content has gone. Well its not me anymore. I'm just not that person anymore and I wanted to start a fresh on here.

So the topic I want to start with today is one that I think is one we can all relate to. Now unless you've been living under a rock, you'll know that most countries are having to be in a lockdown phase due to Covid-19. Now I fully understand it's so tough for everyone but today I just wanted to talk about how its effecting me personally. I hope that if some of you are in the same position you can find some comfort in the fact that you're not alone in how you're feeling.

Now my boyfriend and I live in two different houses so in England, that means we can't mix. Me and Charlie have been together since September 2017 and in that time we have never gone more than a week without seeing each other. We've just clocked into week six of lockdown in the UK and I can tell you now, it's soul destroying.

Now I am fully aware this is happening to so many couple all over the globe and to but to blunt. It's shit. I am a very affectionate person, I am the most cuddliest person and especially with Charlie. Since we've been together I've pretty much just clung to him like a Koala bear. Now I know to so many people around me it's silly. If you've been to this blog before you'll know I have a very sporadic mind shall we say, I don't do the best with change and when I get a little sad I decline very quickly.

Now sadly because of work I couldn't isolate with him and his family, see it's not just him I miss. I miss his whole family like mad, they're my family now and I would do anything just to have one normal day with them right now. There's so much charlie and I want to do, the next goal is to move out, just so we can be in the same house. Its odd, everywhere's closed and life has sort of come to a standstill but I don't care about any of that. I just need that tight hug, that little forehead kiss, the morning cuddle and the random questions in the middle of the night. Its like a piece of me is missing and I can play it down to everyone else to act as if i'm okay and joke around, when in reality I have a little cry each night while I sleep tucked up in his hoddie.

Soppy and cringy but I think couples that are apart will understand. For so long we've been a team, side by side with the ability to see each other at the drop of a hat if the other one needs something. I'm just finding it hard to apart from the man that, as much as we argue, he'd do anything to make me happy. I'm simply quite lost without him, it's been six weeks and one day since I've had a hug and kiss from him and for someone like me, those moments just see me through. Give me that little bit more energy to face the world. I know full well charlie won't read this, I didn't want to write this in a way but today I saw a couple, who I know don't live together holding hands and it crushed me. I know this is what we all need to do, its just so hard seeing other people being able to steal those moments with someone they love while I, and so many of us, are struggling to be apart while all this goes on.

I guess I just wanted to chat about this because I just want people who are in similar situation to see that we aren't alone in this. I know its hard but thankfully Charlies been phoning and texting a lot more. It's a way we keep close and connected, even though I would do anything to wrap my arms around him for the worlds biggest hug.

Well that's it from me for now, I plan on using this blog as a page for all our little adventures, I just cant want to be reunited with my family and make the most of every minute.

All my love,
Chloe x

1 comment:

  1. Firstly, welcome back. Secondly, hopefully you are keeping well. As they say, 'it is only temporary', so please may you keep well. And take care.