Friday, 27 November 2020

A New Dadyream |

 Hello old friends,

Every year I start this again and we never seem to get that far. This year has not gone to plan for anyone. Honestly if you told me last year the world would be thrown into a global pandemic I would have laughed you out of the room. Whilst there are still so many things I have to be thankful for this year, it has also made me take a look of the areas of my life I'm not best pleased with. 

Now this blog never got the big views, it never rocketed like I always dreamed of but it kept me grounded a little and was my escape from the stresses of life (When I say stresses of life, it was stupid things like why won't boys like me). Since being with Charlie, this took the back seat and while I think I needed it but not blogging also took away a sense of who I was. This was a part of me that I loved, the part of me that flourished and I felt like in my own little way, I made a small difference in some way.

Now my job is classed as a "key worker" here in England. Who'd have thought this chunky little supermarket worker would be classed as key. Now compared to the health workers I have done nothing, but being in a busy store with rude customers for the majority of the year has taken its toll. Now I can't complain too much as for the first lockdown I was tucked away in a corner of the shop with my best pal baking all day. But since the eat out to help out scheme pretty much drained me mentally and physically, well I think it's safe to say I need a new outlet from work again. I am not going to be putting a schedule on here as the pressure of new content just made my content piss poor last time. 

In the new year I really want to focus on the baking side of things. Being tucked away in the work canteen baking most of the day made me miss it so much. I will never be the best baker but I love baking people happy. I hope to share some of my creations on here. Now I know I did some baking posts before, they will be back on here just re-vamped a little and made a bit better.

This year has been shit for everyone for very different reasons and something this year jsut made me realise how important life is. It's not about money, it's not about what you have but who you have and I want to just make next year ever so slightly better than this one. Now I hope that I will actually keep this up this year, even writing this post out now made me feel so happy. Its been a long time since I typed away every little thought in my brain and my god, I needed it.

I can't wait to start baking for you all and hopefully connecting with you all again. Oh my loves, how I've missed you all. 

Chloe x

Wednesday, 6 May 2020

Welcome | Life in lockdown

Hello there,
Now if you're not new to this blog then you may be wondering where on earth all my content has gone. Well its not me anymore. I'm just not that person anymore and I wanted to start a fresh on here.

So the topic I want to start with today is one that I think is one we can all relate to. Now unless you've been living under a rock, you'll know that most countries are having to be in a lockdown phase due to Covid-19. Now I fully understand it's so tough for everyone but today I just wanted to talk about how its effecting me personally. I hope that if some of you are in the same position you can find some comfort in the fact that you're not alone in how you're feeling.

Now my boyfriend and I live in two different houses so in England, that means we can't mix. Me and Charlie have been together since September 2017 and in that time we have never gone more than a week without seeing each other. We've just clocked into week six of lockdown in the UK and I can tell you now, it's soul destroying.

Now I am fully aware this is happening to so many couple all over the globe and to but to blunt. It's shit. I am a very affectionate person, I am the most cuddliest person and especially with Charlie. Since we've been together I've pretty much just clung to him like a Koala bear. Now I know to so many people around me it's silly. If you've been to this blog before you'll know I have a very sporadic mind shall we say, I don't do the best with change and when I get a little sad I decline very quickly.

Now sadly because of work I couldn't isolate with him and his family, see it's not just him I miss. I miss his whole family like mad, they're my family now and I would do anything just to have one normal day with them right now. There's so much charlie and I want to do, the next goal is to move out, just so we can be in the same house. Its odd, everywhere's closed and life has sort of come to a standstill but I don't care about any of that. I just need that tight hug, that little forehead kiss, the morning cuddle and the random questions in the middle of the night. Its like a piece of me is missing and I can play it down to everyone else to act as if i'm okay and joke around, when in reality I have a little cry each night while I sleep tucked up in his hoddie.

Soppy and cringy but I think couples that are apart will understand. For so long we've been a team, side by side with the ability to see each other at the drop of a hat if the other one needs something. I'm just finding it hard to apart from the man that, as much as we argue, he'd do anything to make me happy. I'm simply quite lost without him, it's been six weeks and one day since I've had a hug and kiss from him and for someone like me, those moments just see me through. Give me that little bit more energy to face the world. I know full well charlie won't read this, I didn't want to write this in a way but today I saw a couple, who I know don't live together holding hands and it crushed me. I know this is what we all need to do, its just so hard seeing other people being able to steal those moments with someone they love while I, and so many of us, are struggling to be apart while all this goes on.

I guess I just wanted to chat about this because I just want people who are in similar situation to see that we aren't alone in this. I know its hard but thankfully Charlies been phoning and texting a lot more. It's a way we keep close and connected, even though I would do anything to wrap my arms around him for the worlds biggest hug.

Well that's it from me for now, I plan on using this blog as a page for all our little adventures, I just cant want to be reunited with my family and make the most of every minute.

All my love,
Chloe x