Monday, 5 November 2018

Alone Time |

Hello there,
This week has been one of the worst at work. It has been non stop, all round chaos and just all round pretty shite. Now me and charlie both lead pretty hectic lives, our schedules don't sync up that often but I'm yearning for just some alone time. We went away to center parks at the beginning of the year and it was honestly the best. It was just us. Just us pottering around, living like adults and it was lovely. There was no work or anything to distract us from the other.

I'm not a person that can handle a lot of people at once and the slightest things get to me. This week has been tough on the work side of things, its been awful and at times I've been in tears. My manager actually messaged me saying how she couldn't have done this week without me, something that was actually so nice to hear. Ive ran around like made this week trying to help a sinking ship and somehow we've managed it.

It Saturday night when I'm writing this and I'm tired. I'm waiting to see the love of my life and instead I'm doing this. Reality has hit me hard since coming back from New York. I think I'm just at the stage now where I don't want to live at home any more. I love my parents but I need my own space, we need our own space. At my house Charlie cant stay round which I do respect but its hard to actually get some us time.

My head has been everywhere this week apart from me. I haven't had time to think about myself once this week. Ive been too busy thinking about work. I don't mind. I really don't. I'm just at the point where I want to come home after the shit days and get to spend my nights with charlie. I'm just happier with his company. He calms me. Even when were arguing I know I'm safe. I think right now I'm at a stage where my own family needs to be starting. The me and charlie world that hopefully in the near future will grow.

Sometimes I just feel like I'm an adult trapped in a child's life. I want to be able to do all these things like move out, have kids, get a decent job but there's always something that gets in the way. I hope next year will be a year full of big steps if I'm honest. I'm hoping that I will get much closer to moving out because I want a little place to call our own. I want to be able to go home at the end of the day knowing the man of my dreams is there, even if it does mean I have to make the dinner and do most of the chores.

I think this week has just really got to me. For so many different reasons this week has been shit. I just want a little more time with someone that I'm planning on spending my life with. People say forever can wait but I'm tired of waiting. From 2019 the games changing. I want my life to start moving in a different direction and I'm so excited at the idea of that.

Ciao for now xxx

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