Saturday, 31 March 2018

Relationships | What I've Learnt So Far

Hello lovelies,
Long time no see as per usual. Truth be told, this had to take a back seat. I had to put my focus on me for a bit and the blog just sort of needed to be shelved for a little while. I'm finally back tippy tapping away at my computer and it feels good.

I'm fully aware I haven't really been in an relationship for that long, well nearly 7 months which for me is like "YAY!!! SOMEONE ACTUALLY LIKES ME!!!", for anyone else looking in its like oh okay.

Me and Charlie got very serious very quickly and I sort of love that, I think we both just knew and I'm honestly so much happier. Yes I post about how wonderful we are together as a thing of yes I got shit together, that doesn't mean we don't argue to the point I don't want to look at him, it doesn't mean we don't have our issues. I love him with all my heart but I've learnt a lot about being in a relationship....Unfortunately its not all rainbows and unicorns. Its tough shit that we really had to muddle through.

Here's some things I've learnt over the last seven months, some good and some bad.

Space is OKAY! |
I am a person that loves to spend time with people they love. I cant help it and I am fully aware that I am too much for people sometimes. I guess I have a fear that if I don't see people a lot, well I sort or worry that they won't like me anymore. I think it took me a few months to get used to the idea that it was okay for me and Charlie to have some space. If I'm feeling a little meh then I'll just be like nope I need some me time tonight, and vice versa. I love him with all my heart but I think some space does us good sometimes. Then it makes the time we do have together a lot more special.

Arguments are normal |
Arguments are something that I actively try to avoid, I hate arguing because to me it's the worst outcome to a situation. I just always see red if I argue, I worry that that's it for a friendship or anything else. Me and Charlie have little tiffs but when we argue I honestly think that our relationship is going to end. After several of the arguments and a chat with chummy I've learnt that it is okay. I explained to charlie that this is all new to me, he's been in other relationships before so hes used to the argument's in relationships but this is all still very new to me. I think I have just finally realised that its okay to argue and its actually healthy to argue.

Compromise is key |
This is something that maybe has been the hardest one for me, I think we have both really needed to learn that compromise is key to our relationship. We both have to do things that maybe aren't the other ones cup of tea but I think we need to learn that sometimes for the good of the other person we really need to work on this. If there is one thing that we have learnt it that we need to start thinking about what we're doing and if its making the other happy or what effect it is having on them.

Appreciate the little things |
The little things like cuddles while we watch the TV, the little forehead kisses, the way he looks at me like no one else in the world matters. All these little things and more are the things I love the most. I think it is vital to take time and appreciate the little things about each other or the little things we do for each other. For instance Charlie knows I don't like driving so he does all the driving in this relationship and its something I'm really grateful for because he knows it stresses me out. He also knows exactly what I need when I pop on the "I don't need anyone, just leave me alone" attitude. He knows all I need in those teary moments is just to be cuddled so tight that I can't breathe, because in that moment I feel safe. I feel so secure knowing that the man I love is there and it's all going to be okay.

The amount of times I have to say something |
Moving on from that heartfelt section, time for the amount of times I have to say something to him. Oh good god I don't know if this is with all men but for all the men in my family and now charlie, well I have to say something so many bloody times before it recognises in his brain that there are in fact words coming out of my mouth and I'm not just moving my mouth. He has got a lot better with this little issue but I think its just something all men have, the incapability to actually listen to a woman the first time she says something.

You will become a version of them |
I have just become a little version of charlie because good god I now speak like him, I even blood think like him sometimes. I can't help it. I think I just spend that much time with him that I have just adapted so many of his mannerisms and its just slightly funny, like two odd little peas in a pod.

He was worth the wait |
No matter how many tiffs we have, or how many times I have to ask him to move his shoes so I don't break my neck in the middle of the bloody night.......He was worth the wait. I spent a good year talking to people that we just vile humans, only ever after one thing. I thought I needed that, I thought I needed a mans approval and the minute I stopped like nope I don't need this. Then charlie popped up, this floppy haired man full of nerves and looking so casual when I first met him. 

Yes the first time we met was at Tescos after two weeks of non stop talking and 3 hour phone calls and face times each night. I didn't know I needed him, I didn't know i wanted him and then it clicked. I was pretty sure of him even before I met him, the moment I met him I was sure. This is the man I want to grow old with, argue with so much passion with, have babies with and just bumble through life with. I made a lot of mistakes before Charlie but he was worth all that, what I thought was heartbreak was nothing in comparisons. The idea of losing Charlie breaks me and I hope we last for an awfully long time.