Wednesday, 26 July 2017

Boobs, Body and Backlash |

Hello lovelies,
Odd post today but I feel like as someone who spends most of my life online I can't shy away from this. I feel like I've made mistakes and sadly some of those do involve my boobs and my body. Before you judge I want you to take the time to read this.

Now its no secret that I like to use tinder. I don't use it for sex, if you do that's great. Good for you. As long as its between two consenting adults then why not? Now I get talking to people, they earn my trust which is something I have to learn not to give out. Being a woman that has very low self esteem means its easy for people to manipulate their way into getting what they want. 

They tell me I'm beautiful, that my size doesn't matter, that they like certain parts of my look. Now I'm sad to admit that a few of those people have wormed there way into what they want. Now I'm ready for my friends to just disown me at the next part but its time to be straight with you. Now a few people have played the you're beautiful, have you got snapchat bullshit. Now I'll chat to them for a while on there, sent stupid pics of me with filters of unicorns, flower crowns and things like that. Then after a while they'll snap me, they asked for pictures of more. I said no, they said please its just between us. They made me trust them, they made me feel confident. They made me feel like there was something between us. Now before the alarm bells ring I have NEVER sent a picture of myself in the nude. But I will admit to you know that I have sent men that have pressured me into it pictures of me in my bra. Now yes I felt pressured but I still took the pictures, I still sent them. 

Now obviously I have learnt from this but I just felt like I needed to share this with you. Basically guys please don't do what I did. Don't allow someone to worm their way in, yes you may have low self esteem but you are perfect, you don't need to have the approval of someone else to feel good about yourself. I just feel ashamed that I allowed people to manipulate me into doing what they wanted, I'm part of the blame though so physically it was my fault but mentally it was theirs. 

There it is. Something I've been keeping from you for a while. I understand if you look at me a little different but as someone who shares their whole life online, well I felt like this was the one thing you all needed to know.....