Thursday, 15 December 2016

🎄Blogmas Day 15 🎄 | I've Become The Mean Girl

Hello lovelies,
I like to think I put the best version but the truest version of myself online. I like to think I'm a nice person. I like to think I'm caring towards others. That's not true. Its come to my attention that I'm a mean girl. I'm that bitch who makes people cry. The minute I found that out I just burst into tears. I've become the one thing I hate the most. 

My department gets on so well but there's a new persons. Maybe I've just been frustrated because she's new, maybe I'm threatened by her becoming close with everyone. I don't know. She's a lovely woman but for some reason she just frustrates me. Instead of taking my time and just helping her I've just been keeping to myself. I'll join in little jokes like everyone else has been doing but on Tuesday I snapped. I was told I'd done something wrong when in fact it was right. I snapped and got stroppy, something I do when I'm stressed anyway. My manager told me today that this woman went up to her crying saying she wanted to be taken off shift with me. I'm that bitch. It's killing me that I've done that to someone. 

I think I maybe need a change of scenery. My department is non stop stress and its a pressure cooker just waiting to go off. I have and I've hurt someone. As much as I don't want to be till trained I think its best. Even if I can't move departments I think I need that option to just do overtime somewhere new.

Anyway that's it from me today. I try to put across the best version of myself but I've turned into the mean girls I hated at school. I guess I've had to develop a thick skin to deal with a lot of shit but instead I've become immune to what my actions are and haven't even thought of how I've been with others.

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