Friday, 12 August 2016

V Festival | Im Panicking

Hello lovelies,
This time next week I'll be heading to V festival. I'm now really starting to panic and its actually making me feel sick at the thought of going. Now I haven't been to a festival before so for me its stepping into the unknown. 

I have everything sorted and I know that I'll be fine but there is so much about the weekend that is stressing me out already. I saw an advert for V on youtube and even though I've seen it before, well its made me stress. I'm not great with crowds. I don't mind them but the thought of being huddle together with a bunch of strangers really makes me panic. I hate it. The only way I handle big crowds is if I'm drunk. Something I plan on not being while I'm there.

Time of the month. Another stress is that I think my monthly visitor is waiting to make an appearance on V weekend. Not the best considering I'm camping and the toilets there are tiny and from what I've heard, disgusting. I just don't know what I'm going to do if that happens if I'm honest. 

The feeling like I'm just going to be getting in the way all weekend is really getting to me. My role for the weekend is just going to be third wheel and I just don't really want to be that. Like I just hate feeling like I'm in the way and I know that's how I'm going to feel all weekend. 

If I'm honest I shouldn't have agreed to go, festivals aren't me. Yes I haven't been to one before but I already know that I'm going to hate most of it. Its just the overwhelming crowds that are going to scare me. No doubt I'll end up having a few mini panic attacks but I just need to keep them to myself. If it all gets a bit to much then I think I'll just take myself back to my tent. This is basically going to be a waste of money but its to late for me to back out. 

I want to be one of these people who love things like this but I'm not. The thought of being that close to people is just scary, the fact that I'll probably be on isn't helping. My aim is to do like a little summery of each day to just document how I feel, what its like and bits like that. I'm not going to tell chummy all of this because I don't want her to worry. Yes she reads my posts but not that much, she probably wont read this so I know I'm okay to tell all of you. 

I just feel like this year I've pushed myself further than I thought I would. I've been places I didn't think I'd go and I've done thing that scared me. This just seems a bit to much for me. I know for a fact that I won't go next year, one the money side of things is just to much and two, well this just really isn't me. Maybe its because after I get back from V there's only a short amount of time before Disney. I just wanted a whole month to get super excited for Disney, that hasn't happened.  Instead I'm sitting here stressing about going to a festival. If I'm honest the sooner its over the better, I just want to get home and get ready for Disneyland.

That's about it from me today. Have any of you been to V? Am I just worrying to much? Anyway time will tell I suppose but the only thing that's going to get me through the weekend is knowing that when we come home, we have a little cinema trip planned with one of my favourite people.

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