Monday, 25 July 2016

What Happened Last Week | July 18th-24th

Hello lovelies,
Anyone who follows me on twitter may have seen that over the weekend, well I've been a mess. I was having such a good week and at the end of the week I was left feeling numb. Now there is a nice build up the the p*ss poor end so if you want to stick around, get comfy because this is going to be a long one.

Monday 18th |
At the start of the week I was told that I got to have 4 lovely days off in a row. This is only because I have to do overtime that they won't pay, my manger has to take it off my shifts. Now I sorted my whole room out, cleared out all my wardrobe and did a nice little spring clean of my room. I had the day to myself and it was so nice. Just to clear everything out and get rid of things that I didn't need.

Tuesday 19th 
After being separated for the weekend me and chummy finally got to see each other. A weekend may seem like a small amount of time but I just needed to see her. Me and chummy are constant and it was weird not speaking everyday. Now we went for a lovely picnic and then a lovely seaside stroll. It was just so nice to go out and catch up on the weekend. I also called her dude which apparently she found weird, its an L thing to say so for her it was a bit weird that I called her dude. I've put a little picture of us below, now I'm the horrible looking girl in the blue top with the bun as you all know. Chummy is the gorgeous woman next to me.

Wednesday 20th |
A shopping day with my mum was what I needed, so we got in the car and listen to Lukas Graham all the way. Now I got everything I wanted and even got to pick up a few cute little extras. If you want to see what I got then just click this little picture here. In the evening I had a Zumba class with chummy. Now it was boiling hot but we bossed that class. We're a little like Spanish mode buzz from Toy Story 3 or Monica and Ross when they do the routine. If you don't get that reference then please, you're either to young or missed out on the best show. Just google it.

Thursday 21st |
I got to see my favourite person on the planet, my gorgeous aunt. She came round to see us, we had a good chat and she did my eyebrows. She is the best at my eyebrows and makes them look so good. Now I had the rest of the day to just relax and get ready for work the next day.

Friday 22nd |
I was back at work and it was hell. We're a department that's over hours and under staffed. Now everyone was working so hard but we just couldn't cope with it, it was just all to much. Anyway after a pretty bad shift I went home and did a little bit of baking. I was so happy, I was having a very good week, I was back doing what I loved and I had Adele blasting through my headphones. Chummy messaged me to see if id been on Facebook, I hadn't. 

Now I'm not going to tell you what happened, that seems unfair but this is one thing that I don't want online. Its just because my blog is a happy place, granted I'm sad on here sometimes but those are little things. This is something I don't want to be reminded of. Now when I found something out, the music stopped and my heart just sank a little. I was hurting and alone and all I did was cry. Now don't worry no one died or anything, like I didn't find out someone was ill. It just involves a silly boy that I shouldn't have ever met. Now I was in floods of tears, I couldn't stop myself. I was ignoring chummy's messages but the more I did that the more she text. Luckily she offered to pick me up and take me for a drive, she didn't want me to be alone. I got ready, re-did my make up and went out for a bit. I needed my best friend and my god it helped so much. When I got home I tried to sleep but ended up just crying into my pillow.

Saturday 23rd |
I got up for work, got ready and went in. before I start I sit in the canteen for bit, I ran out because I was about to cry. I saw chummy and then went into work. All day I was quiet, every five minutes I wanted to burst into tears. Everyone knew something was wrong but whenever they asked I just shut off, for me if I'm about to cry someone asking whats wrong makes me worse. Normally at work I'm very happy and excitable, they knew it wasn't that I was missing chummy. They just knew something was upsetting me. 

My manager put me on my own but I was getting so frustrated with customers that she put me with the girl my age, I think she knew I needed someone who wasn't very chatty but was there to look after me. I stayed later because someone called in sick, I got to see my chumster which helped a little. Now when I got home I just ran to my bedroom and cried. I talked a lot to chummy and she helped a lot. I don't know what its got to me this much, well I do but that's just for me. Now after crying and crying all night, I finally drifted off to dreamland. The one place I could just escape to for a few hours.

Sunday 24th |
I woke up feeling a little more positive. I went to work with the biggest smile on my face. I knew the day before I had been miserable and on a Sunday, no matter how bad it is.....well I like to be that little pick me up for people. A little reason why they smile. When I got in it was manic but I told chumster the whole sorry story. Now he knows every detail so it was only fair I kept him in the loop. He was so good with me bless him, even though it was busy I was feeling more myself and that's because I had such a good bunch to keep me occupied. My close was awful but its just one of those things. Now my evening was just spend on my own, its just what I needed to be honest. I watched finding Nemo and then beauty and the beast. 

Last week I was so sure that this week would be more positive, that I'd be happier. The end of the week for me saw me at my weakest. My most vulnerable and it hurts. It hurts like hell, I've cried, screamed and just wished to be anywhere else. I couldn't have coped if I didn't have my best friend. I honestly don't know what I would have done. 

Next week will be better, I have cute little days planned. My birthday is on Tuesday and me and chummy are having a film night. Now I messaged L to say have a nice week because I probably wouldn't see him until Saturday, he said I might see him on my birthday. Now I know he's busy but it would be so nice to see him on my birthday. I just need my friends around me right now. The lovely lady at work cheered me up a little with this message. Now she doesn't know what happened but this is what she said "Sorry to hear you having a bad time..i know its easy for me to say but try not to let people get you are a beautiful..kind..caring polite young lady and anyone who thinks otherwise..really isnt worth giving your time too. Xxx always here if you need to have a rant..scream or cry xxxxx". Now i have so many people around me who just want to help and i need to remember that they're the ones who are important.