Wednesday, 29 June 2016

Dream Journal |

Hello lovelies,
Its been a long time since I did one of these posts. Basically I woke myself up yesterday in tears and its just seemed so real. I thought I'd do a little dream journal on it because I just need to chat about it, also it will be nice to see what it all means.

Anyway for the most of the dream I was at work but then the setting changed, I was then having a lovely day with chummy. In my dream she got a call to say that she was being moved departments and she was moving to Northampton. I was like well what about your family, your boyfriend, L? None of that mattered. She was going and I was heartbroken. More to the fact that nothing that matters most to her was making a difference. In the end I just walked home in tears and I could barely breathe, that's when I woke up.

To you that's a silly dream but for me it was me losing someone who is such a big part of my life and nothing seemed to matter. There are a few reasons why I think I dreamt this, work has been stressing me out because someone has been moved department. They're moaning saying it should be chummy. No it shouldn't, she's the most flexible with her hours and does her job well. Anyway that and a mix of insecurity has been getting to me.

I looked on dream moods to see if it said anything about it.
Here's what is said about moving "To dream that you or someone is moving in or out of a place signifies your desire or need for change. It may also mean an end to a situation or relationship; you are moving on. Alternatively, it indicates your determination and issues regarding dependence/independence.". Now I want change is some aspects of my life but my friendship isn't one of them. I have been worrying though that soon my lovely little friendship may end. As silly as it sounds I guess I know that at some point she'll get married and have kids, I just don't see a place for me in all that. Like at some point she wont really need or want me and that's been getting to me a lot lately.

Here's what is said about friends "to dream about your best friend means that you need to foster or acknowledge some special quality that your best friend has. Ask yourself what makes your best friend your best friend and how you need to work on these attributes within yourself. Dreaming about your friend's friend signifies aspects of your own self that you are still trying to get to know.". My chummy has some amazing qualities so I'm not really sure if I'm missing anything. I wouldn't say I'm trying to get to know something about myself, I know myself pretty well but maybe there is something that I'm just not seeing. 

Anyway that was my dream. I'm the type of person that gets attached easily to people, I always have and I always will. With chummy I tried not to, I think that's why it took me so long to have a proper conversation with her. I guess I just didn't want to get close with someone because from past experience, it all ends. Now that I have got very close with her I'm scared. I don't want to think of a future without her in it. She's proved to be the most trusting, caring person that I've needed and she came into my life at the perfect moment. I feel like I've done the fake friend thing with people at school and I just don't like the idea that one day, well one day we could drift apart or she'll get bored of me. I know to you that may seem like a weird way for my brain to work but for me our friendship just seems a little to good, I love it don't get me wrong but I haven't had this with anyone. Not even friends at school, this human actually cares and wants to spend time with me and for me that's odd. I have a lot of trust issues so for me my brain still keeps its guards up, with chummy its let down and the thought of losing her upset me so much.