Friday, 27 May 2016

This Time Last Year |

Hello lovelies,
The last year has gone so quick. Normally for me the days just drag a little and it seems like the year will never end. Over the last year so much has changed. This time last year I never imagined my life like this, now is it perfect to other people? No, but to me this is all I want right now. I have had the most amazing 12 months, I've done a lot of growing up in that time I think. I wanted to share with you some of the little bits that have changed over the last year.

Confidence | 
This time last year I had no confidence. This is always something I've struggled with. Growing up with people constantly putting you down, well it takes its toll. Over the last year my confidence has shot up and for once in my life, I can look in a mirror and like what I see. I'm not being vein, I know I'm nothing special and there are people much prettier out there. I can just see myself now and because I'm more accepting of myself, well I can see that I am pretty in my own way. 

Weight |
This time last year I was 19stone. I'm not 14stone 13pounds. Yes I've got a bit more to lose but I'm so happy with that, I never thought I would be able to lose weight but some how I managed it. Now I haven't been dieting for a while now so I need to get back on the healthy eating lifestyle, I would like to be 13stone for my birthday. 

Family |
This time last year the family wasnt as broken. I love them all but drifting apart from some has made me much closer with others. My families a little broken right now, its not really fixable any more but I've made my peace with that. I'm just happy that I'm sure of myself now. I have who I need and want in my life and they are family that wont ever stray.

Work |
This time last year I had just started my job. Now I didn't think I'd last there, I didn't think I would fit in and I thought no one liked me. Fast forward 12 months and I'm still there but I'm completely myself with everyone. They see the weird side and I now work with my best friend. I'm close with people I would have never even spoke to and as bad as my job can be, I get to have fun. I make the most of of the job, even if that does mean co-parenting 4 eggs with my chumster.

Blog |
This time last year I was doubting my blog, I think I was just so worried that I was pointless. Granted its not a popular blog but over the last year I've shared so much more with you all. I even shared me with you, I didn't think I would ever show you who I was out of fear you'd all judge me. Its silly but I feel like I'm closer to my readers and I just felt it was time to show you the face behind the words.

Love |
This time last year I was mending a broken heart. Now this isn't the post where I tell you I now have a boyfriend, that post wont happen. Yes I'm still single, that sentence used to make me really sad. Now? Well yes it gets to me sometimes but over the last year I've let go of someone that I loved. I've met a few guys, one who I now a lovely friend to me. Another guy, well I never got a reply back from him. Did I maybe think he could have been someone special, yes. But I feel like that was fuelled by a lot of mixed signals that everyone picked up on. I've taken a few more risks in an attempt at a love life this year, they haven't paid off but I'm glad I had that experience. Maybe now I've realised that putting pressure to find someone wont make me happy, its making me more sad if that makes sense. At some point the most amazing person will walk into my life and all this will be a blur. I live in hope that there's someone out there for me, its just not time yet. 

Friends |
This time last year I was a very lonely person. Now, I've got a small group around me that fill me with so much love and happiness. I have a best friend who has made me realise that being me is just fine. I have a friend 1 who had stuck with me even though I did admit that I liked him. I have people that I'm close with who I wouldn't have even spoke to before. To me its not a numbers game, some people like to have loads of friend's but I go for quality over quantity. The people I have now are ones that I want in my life forever. I've said that before when I was at school but its different this time, I know they are genuine and they actually care about me. I have every faith that they'll be with me for a very long time. A future with those two in it seems so much brighter.

Happiness |
This time last year I was broken. I may not have seen it but I'd been to hell and back. A few months previous to getting my job I had thought of doing something very stupid. Now I'm the happiest I've ever been and that's down to the people in my life. When you're in a dark state of mind its so hard to see a way out of it, I didn't. Know I'm the happiest I've been and its just a matter of time. It takes a while but at some point you will get the happiness you deserve. 

I hope you liked that post, I know it wasn't the most riveting but to me its nice to look back over the last 12 months and see how much has changed.