Wednesday, 11 May 2016

Hello | It's me

Hello lovelies,
Now today I want to talk to you all about confidence. Now I know I've done posts like this before but since those I have gained so much more confidence and maybe I'm starting to love myself a little more. One of the big things for me last week was that I uploaded my first picture to instagram. When I say that, I mean to my blog instagram. I upload selfies to my personal one quite a lot. Now this isn't something I would have done a few months ago and I wanted to chat to you about why. Now my instagrams set to private now so I can limit who sees my posts. Obviously if you follow me on there, I'll accept but I'm just doing it it cover my back in case anyone I know finds it. Now this is the first time a picture of me has appeared on my blog, well that has my face in. Now if someone I know is reading this then great, I'm gonna be embarrassed at first but I just don't care anymore. So for all you lovely lot who've stuck with Professional Daydreamer.........well here I am. Now if you want to follow me on instagram then just click on the picture. I'll accept all the follow requests.

Now as much as I normally hate uploading photos, over the last few months my confidence has grown so much. I know why that is and of course I will go into that. Well I hope my appearance doesn't make you click away from my blog, I'm not the prettiest button in the box but for once in my life.....without this sounding vein. I'm starting to see my own beauty, now I don't think I'm pretty but I guess I'm seeing that in this photo I'm happy. I'm me and that makes me feel beautiful if that makes any sense. 

Now over the last few months I've lost over 3stone, I think my weight loss has had a little thing to do with me gaining a bit more confidence. Well that's what my parents think anyway, I'll never like myself no matter what I weigh, I just think its made me feel like I can do more and has given me a little more self belief.

Happiness has had a very big part to play in my confidence. Now most of you know the situation with my sister, I basically just cut her out of my life. A little harsh to some but she's broken our family, we all know it. I guess after 18 years of letting her destroy my happiness and confidence, well I'd had enough. Since cutting her out of my life I have started living more, why? Because I have no one to please anymore. I have no one to judge me on what I say or do. Now I'm not saying this is the solution to happiness for everyone, for me it worked. I wish things had been different but this is the point we're at now. I could say I miss her, I don't. Like unfortunately I still live with her, I love her but I can't deal with her anymore. I haven't spoke to her for a while and I find it so funny how she gets annoyed when I go out. 

Now I go out an awful lot more, why? Well I get to spend time with my best friend and that makes me extremely happy. Shannon brings out a side of me that I haven't seen in years, I missed the fun and happy girl I used to be. She got smothered with so many insecurities that I didn't think I'd ever be that person again. Shannon's basically given me free reign to be exactly who I am, I didn't know how much I needed that. Because I'm happier, I'm more confident. I give less f*cks what people think of me and its great.

I have such an amazing group of people around me now, they make me feel like I can do anything and for some reason they let me be exactly who I am. That's all I ever want from people, after spending years at school feeling like I wasn't good enough the way I was. Well now people can take me or leave me, I don't care. The people who love me for me are who I need, not people who want me to be someone I'm not. Now I'm hoping this new confidence stays with me now. Like I do feel a little conscious sometimes, like I upload a few pictures or my Facebook and I think some found it weird. I never upload photos of myself but now I do it quite frequently, like its nice though because on Facebook I only really care about a small group. I don't care what anyone else thinks, I'm happy right now and I think I need to start showing me instead of hiding behind the camera.

Well that was a pointless post I know, I just felt like I wanted to talk to you about why I'm feeling a little more confident and and actually share who i am with you all. Now I'm sorry if what I look like has put you off my blog, that's fine but even though I'm not going to be posting a lot of pictures of myself on my blog, there may me times when I do a make up post or a get ready with me. It will be nice to to have to blur my face out or crop my photos.

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