Tuesday, 31 May 2016

Monthly Favourites | May 2016

Hello lovelies,
It's that time again where I tell what I've been loving for the past month. May has gone so quick and I've had so many new favourites that I cant wait to share with you all.

Beauty |


I've been loving the dove summer revived tan moisturiser. Now yes I did go a little orange but for my first tanning expericne, I felt it was like a little right of passage in essex that I turned the colour of an oompa loompa. Now this made my skin feel so hydrated and smooth, it also gave me a lovely summer glow when I did it right.

Lush |


I used the comforter bubble bar and it was the best product I've used this month. I actually haven't been using my lush products that much this month but this is the one thing that I've been loving. Now most of you know this is my favourite lush bubble bar but its been the perfect way for me to relax after a stressful day at work.

TV show |


Bates motel. Now this show is something that I've been hearing people go on about for months and this month I finally got round to watching it. The story is basically is the prequel to psycho. Its an amazing show and I was hooked. I've now finished all 4 series and I cant wait for the 5th. I've been telling everyone about this show in hope that I can get them to watch it.

Film |


Alice in wonderland through the looking glass. I saw this film on its release day and my word, it was incredible. This actually beat the first alice for me, that was hard to beat. I will be reviewing it soon but if you've seen it, please let me know in the comments what you thought about it.

Youtuber |
Ive been loving Ellie Steadmand again. This time not just for Disney chat, I've been loving her weekly vlogs. It so nice to see her recording her week and its nice to see what she gets up to during the week. Ellie's videos are always so good and I've been loving that because she's recording more of her week, it feels like we get to know her a lot more.

Ellie Steadman
Twitter | Youtube

Song |
There have been a lot of songs that I've been loving this month, I'll be good and just pick one though. I've been loving chandelier by Sia.  I've been listening to this a lot this month, its the perfect song to relax me and I've found its been my wririntg song for a few weeks now.

Moment |
I've had a few favourite moments of the month so I'm going to pick two. My first favourite moment was seeing my little cousin. I see her a lot but a few weeks ago she came round and we had some snuggles on the couch and played with the snapchat filters. It was so lovely seeing the little smile on her face and seeing how happy a simple thing made her. I also the cutest selfies with her that are now the background on my computer. Seeing her happy little face cheers me up after a bad day, it also keeps me focused while writing. My spend favourite moment was seeing busted. I got to see my favourite childhood band perform at the O2 and it was honestly the most amazing night.

Well those were my favourites for May. Let me know some of the things you enjoyed during May.

Monday, 30 May 2016

What Happened Last Week | May 23rd-29th

Hello lovelies,
I had a pretty exciting week last week and I want to share it with you. Now I feel like the excitement didn't really kick in until Friday but let me tell you about the days leading up to that day.


Monday  |
I had two wonderful days off work. This was the first of the two and I spent the day getting a few blog bits done, I sorted all of my room out. This seemed to take forever and that sort of went into Tuesday. I just find that when I sort out my bedroom I get very distracted, get everything out then I just get bored. Apart from that, I spent my evening watching all my favourite soaps whilst snuggled in my bed.

Tuesday |
Day two of my days off and I managed to finish sorting my bedroom out, I actually had it tidy for a few hours but then that went downhill when I needed to find my charger. I got a bit of writing done, popped round to see my aunt and then spent my night listening to my music with a nice candle burning.

Wednesday |
I was back at work on Wednesday and I was a little bit annoyed. I wasn't on the late but two of my favourite people were. Now my managers been putting the three of us on shift together for a while but she swapped us this week. Now I got to spend my shift basically playing with the most sweetest sarcastic woman. I did find that someone was just getting on my nerves, it was little things that was just getting to me. There was basically a bit of an issue with someone turning the toaster round all the way. Like at work we have one that has a dial that you turn round, she turned it round all the way so it got stuck but was still toasting. That meant all the toast burnt and it was her fault, she had the cheek to tell me that when I had finished burning the toast, I should put her on more. She kept on doing it as well. I don't know but lately I've just found that maybe I'm starting to see some people in a different way, I'm just very happy that I wasn't the only one.

Thursday |
Thursday I woke up to be greeted by the bloody battle. Oh sorry, that's what me and my best friend call our periods now. Yep, I did just share that with you. I knew it was on its way but I was just gutted that it happened the day before busted. Now I spent most of the early hours awake, throwing up because of the period pain. That bloody battle was here and my god it wanted me to feel the pain. Work didn't really help but everyone was just getting to me. Luckily I had chummy and the lovely sarcastic lady to keep me entertained. In the evening I got everything ready for the next day. Ohhh and at work, you all know the eggs me and chumster keep, well a new one was added. This time by the lovely lady I keep mentioning. She was called eggster, like Esther and she wore little binoculars. I saw wore as you will find out something on Sunday that broke our hearts a little.

Friday |
The most exciting day and I was in the worst pain. In the morning me and chummy went to see Alice in wonderland through the looking glass. It was amazing and I loved it more than the first Tim Burton Alice, that was pretty hard to beat for me. After the film we headed into London. Now we had planned a lovely little crumbs and doilies date but sadly we didn't have time. We went to harvester for dinner, although that was the worst meal we've had there. It was just full of disappointments but nothing could take away our excitement for busted. 

We got to go in and our seats at 6:30pm. The support acts were Emma Blackery and Wheatus. They were both really good, like I only knew a couple of songs but Wheatus, Like I love the songs I knew but I just don't really have an opinion on them, sorry chummy. Now were were pretty close, I was on the end of my row which meant I didn't have to sit next to a stranger. Busted were absolutely amazing. They honestly were. It was like seeing my childhood and it was such an incredible night, at one point I had Charlie Simpson, Matt Willis and James Bourne a few feet away from me in a box. Sounds odd, I will be doing a busted post so make sure you read that to find out more. I had to most amazing night with my best friend so thank you chummy for coming with me.

Saturday |
After all the hype of Friday I was on a little low point because I had work in the evening, chummy was off for night two of busted with L. Now work was okay actually, I checked the rota and in a few weeks I have a Saturday off! That hardly ever happens, even though I know that means ill have someone moaning I'm very happy with that. I managed to see chummys boyfriend which meant I could show him the main present I'm getting her, now I've showed him, L and her mum just to make sure they don't get it. To be fair its not something he would think of but I think L might think of it. Now I just need to order it. 

When I got in from work I got a little bit of writing done and while I was doing that I got a call. A call from chummy while she was at busted. I was so happy, she tried to FaceTime me but ended up calling instead. I got to hear year 3000 and I got a little weepy. One because my emotions are quite high at the minutes, two because its one of my favourite busted songs and three because chummy thought of me and called me. It was the highlight of my night and I'm so happy that her and L had the most amazing night.

Sunday |
Another shift but it was actually pretty good. I got basically got to have all play. I had my chummy and my chumster. Now granted we had to hear the woman moaning the she has to work the weekends. Now this is annoying us now, why? Because most of the time she either works Saturday or Sunday but she moans. Me, chummy and chumster work every weekend and are grateful is our manager lets us have it off or just work one day. 

Anyway, I walked back into my department to see a chumster with a guilty look on his face, when I looked he was holding a broken eggster............to us this was a big deal. Me and him are like parents to these eggs and he had cracked her......this wasn't even a cruel yolk! Haha. Anyway he ran out the front to try and hide but he knew what he did. He had killed one of our egg family, now its all good. We gave her a good send off. Chummy made a little tombstone for her that now rests next to the egg family. Me and chumster had a little minutes silence for her, not that anyone else joined in. We also had a little brain wave. Me and chumster have been thinking of good little egg names but we have failed to think of Humpty. Yep, we now have humpty. He even sits on a little brick wall that chumster drew for me. I know we seem very silly but this is one little thing that makes a boring job a little better. Plus we have a good giggle at work. Ohh and while chummy was on her break one of the women we work with looked at me and chusmter like filth when we tag teamed the chocolate sundae making. Like we were on it, granted his one looked better but it was a fun little race and it kept us happy.

Now in the evening I had the house to myself, that mean I could have a little sing song. I had a lovely bath and then watched the soap awards. After that? Well then I sat at my computer listening to just like fire while frantically writing out this post because I sort of forgot to do it. Sorry guys.

Well that was my week. Let me know what you got up to last week in the comments. 

Friday, 27 May 2016

This Time Last Year |

Hello lovelies,
The last year has gone so quick. Normally for me the days just drag a little and it seems like the year will never end. Over the last year so much has changed. This time last year I never imagined my life like this, now is it perfect to other people? No, but to me this is all I want right now. I have had the most amazing 12 months, I've done a lot of growing up in that time I think. I wanted to share with you some of the little bits that have changed over the last year.



Confidence | 
This time last year I had no confidence. This is always something I've struggled with. Growing up with people constantly putting you down, well it takes its toll. Over the last year my confidence has shot up and for once in my life, I can look in a mirror and like what I see. I'm not being vein, I know I'm nothing special and there are people much prettier out there. I can just see myself now and because I'm more accepting of myself, well I can see that I am pretty in my own way. 

Weight |
This time last year I was 19stone. I'm not 14stone 13pounds. Yes I've got a bit more to lose but I'm so happy with that, I never thought I would be able to lose weight but some how I managed it. Now I haven't been dieting for a while now so I need to get back on the healthy eating lifestyle, I would like to be 13stone for my birthday. 

Family |
This time last year the family wasnt as broken. I love them all but drifting apart from some has made me much closer with others. My families a little broken right now, its not really fixable any more but I've made my peace with that. I'm just happy that I'm sure of myself now. I have who I need and want in my life and they are family that wont ever stray.

Work |
This time last year I had just started my job. Now I didn't think I'd last there, I didn't think I would fit in and I thought no one liked me. Fast forward 12 months and I'm still there but I'm completely myself with everyone. They see the weird side and I now work with my best friend. I'm close with people I would have never even spoke to and as bad as my job can be, I get to have fun. I make the most of of the job, even if that does mean co-parenting 4 eggs with my chumster.

Blog |
This time last year I was doubting my blog, I think I was just so worried that I was pointless. Granted its not a popular blog but over the last year I've shared so much more with you all. I even shared me with you, I didn't think I would ever show you who I was out of fear you'd all judge me. Its silly but I feel like I'm closer to my readers and I just felt it was time to show you the face behind the words.

Love |
This time last year I was mending a broken heart. Now this isn't the post where I tell you I now have a boyfriend, that post wont happen. Yes I'm still single, that sentence used to make me really sad. Now? Well yes it gets to me sometimes but over the last year I've let go of someone that I loved. I've met a few guys, one who I now a lovely friend to me. Another guy, well I never got a reply back from him. Did I maybe think he could have been someone special, yes. But I feel like that was fuelled by a lot of mixed signals that everyone picked up on. I've taken a few more risks in an attempt at a love life this year, they haven't paid off but I'm glad I had that experience. Maybe now I've realised that putting pressure to find someone wont make me happy, its making me more sad if that makes sense. At some point the most amazing person will walk into my life and all this will be a blur. I live in hope that there's someone out there for me, its just not time yet. 

Friends |
This time last year I was a very lonely person. Now, I've got a small group around me that fill me with so much love and happiness. I have a best friend who has made me realise that being me is just fine. I have a friend 1 who had stuck with me even though I did admit that I liked him. I have people that I'm close with who I wouldn't have even spoke to before. To me its not a numbers game, some people like to have loads of friend's but I go for quality over quantity. The people I have now are ones that I want in my life forever. I've said that before when I was at school but its different this time, I know they are genuine and they actually care about me. I have every faith that they'll be with me for a very long time. A future with those two in it seems so much brighter.

Happiness |
This time last year I was broken. I may not have seen it but I'd been to hell and back. A few months previous to getting my job I had thought of doing something very stupid. Now I'm the happiest I've ever been and that's down to the people in my life. When you're in a dark state of mind its so hard to see a way out of it, I didn't. Know I'm the happiest I've been and its just a matter of time. It takes a while but at some point you will get the happiness you deserve. 

I hope you liked that post, I know it wasn't the most riveting but to me its nice to look back over the last 12 months and see how much has changed.




Wednesday, 25 May 2016

Plans For Friday | A Chummy Adventure

Hello lovelies,
After a pretty boring week I get to relax tomorrow. I'm off to see Busted with my chummy or by birth name, Shannon. Now we don't just do concerts, we make a day of it and I like to think our little days out are quite fun.

Now I'm sure most of you know but me and chummy are massive Disney fans, I also have a little obsession with all things Alice in wonderland. Now the film is released tomorrow, now we could have waited but I was very eager to see the second film. Me and chummy are off to the cinema in the morning to see through the looking glass. Now that will obviously mean we get ice blasts, its like a little cinema tradition now. Or just when were near the machine to be quite honest.

After the film we head back to the train station and get the train to London. Now our main aim for London is to go to crumbs and doilies. I love the cake there and luckily I got my chummy hooked on it as well. I'm planning on getting there for around 2:30ish so if all goes to plan, we shall be munching on cake at that time. I have a few cakes in mind that I want, I'm just hoping that they're on the menu for that day. I don't think we're going to be doing any shopping in London. Last time we went we headed into oxford street, we popped into the Disney store but I think we just want cake.

Now we have busted in the evening so we'll head back to the O2. The show starts at 7:30pm so that will give up plenty of time to go and grab something for dinner. Now I'm thinking that we get harvester but chummys up at the O2 the next day with L for the second show of busted. Now they're going for dinner so I'm leaving this decision to what he wants. If he wants nandos then we'll go to harvester Friday, that means chummy doesn't have the same thing two days in a row. 

Now I cant wait to see Busted. I wont lie to you, I wasn't that fussed because I was going with mum. That's fine but she wasn't that bothered and I wanted to go with someone who shared my love. I will of course be filming the songs and posting them to my channel like I did with Adele, this time thought I don't have L to chat through the opening song.  

That's all I'm doing really. Now I'm sure we'll get distracted and probably end up doing something that we haven't planned. That's one of the things i love about chummy, she's always up for a little adventure. Like even if its just careoke. Shes there to just let me escape for a bit, when I say escape I don't mean she keeps me hostage like I mean if I need to, I know she'll be there if I need to escape reality for a bit.

I'm sure I'll post a little busted tour review next week, you'll then find out if we stuck to our plans or found something new to do.



Superdrug Haul |

Hello lovelies,
I popped into superdrug a few days ago and I thought I'd show you some of the bits I got. Now this wont be very exciting to you but there are some products in this post that I want to review at some point. This is only going to be a little haul but I hope you like seeing my latest beauty purchases.

Satin care shaving gel |
I normally just get the supermarket branded shaving gel but I saw this one on special. I really loved the look of this one because it has Shea butter in it, from lush reviews you may know that I adore Shea butter. It makes my skin feel so soft and moisturised. I'm hoping this helps make my legs soft and smooth when I shave them.


Dove summer revived |
Now I never use tan but I wanted to give this tan moisturiser a go, I'd heard some really good reviews about it and thought I may as well try it. This was half price so I got two bottles. Now I won't lie to you, I've tried and loved it but may have gone a little to orange......I need to find the right balance but if you use it right then you get a gorgeous summer glow. 


Sanex roll on deodorant |
Not really that special but this is my favourite. I find that sprays bring my skin up sometimes and I prefer a roll on. It's just easier to pop in a bag and much easier to apply. This one is also great because it doesn't leave annoying white marks on my clothes.


Superdrug razors |
I've tried the branded razors but they all last the same amount of time with me. These were 50p for a pack of 5 and they are really good. I don't see the point of spending £5 on razors when they'll last the same amount of times. 


Tresemme 2 in 1 shampoo |
I love tresemme shampoo and conditioner but it's always so pricey. Now I don't know about you but I always run out of conditioner before shampoo. I don't know how. They were on special for 2 for £6. Now I was going to get a shampoo and conditioner but I thought it would be much better to get two 2in1 ones. It works out a better deal because I don't use as much. The smell of this is so nice and it feels like a nice little treat for my hair when I use it.


Well I hope you liked that mini Superdrug haul. I know not wasn't the most exciting thing but I just wanted to show you some of the bits I got. In a few months I want to do a big make up haul, that means I get to go out shopping again and hopefully pick up some lovely new products.

Lots of love,
Chloe xxx

Monday, 23 May 2016

10 Things That Make Me Happy |

Hello lovelies,
A lot happened last week and it made me doubt myself a lot. Im really not sure why if I'm honest, as horrible as it sounds I think over the last few days I've realised that I'm top priority. I put everyone else first, I always have but as much as I love doing that, well sometimes that means I suffer for it. Im constantly worried about making people happy that sometimes I forget to take care of myself. 

Theres so many things that make me so happy, some being people and some being simple little pleasures in life. I thought I'sd share with you some of those things. 

Blogging |
My little bit of happiness thats all mine. I had some doubts last week and felt like my blog wasnt mine anymore, after a nice little chat with lou (When I say chat I mean I ranted to her and she listened and gave very good advice) I realised that of course its mine. It always has and always will be. I know that my blog wont ever be successful and I'm okay with that. I make content that makes me happy and for some reason a small handful of you like it to. Writing was never something I enjoyed at school but now its my little happiness. I've made a whole little world online for myself and the lovely little population that live here. Im proud of my blog, its all me and I didnt need any help. Its the space where I can be completly open and honest with you all. Yes there are going to be times when I post things people dont agree with, thats life. I just know that you will all get why I post it.

Chummy |
The girl who this time last year I thoughtdidn't  like me. How far we've come since then. Chummy means the world to me and for some bizzar reason she still likes to spend time with me. Now I find it very hard to let people in, I keep a lot to myself but I tell this girl everyhitng. Now at work they think were lesbians, nothing wrong with that if you are but we are definitely straight women. We're just so comforbtle around each other and we will talk about everything. Chummy is also the reason for my next happiness and I can thank her enough for that. The thing I love most about her is that even thought I'm the most annoying person, she deals with it. She knows my past, knows my little struggles but is there through it all, she lets me be who I am and never questions what I do. I want me and chummy to be those little old women racing around supermarkets in our mobility scooters, causing chaos and giggling about the fun things and weird stitatuons we got into then we were young. Chummy I'm in the for the long haul, you joining me???

L |
L makes me so happy. Considering I didnt know him until January he is one of the people I love spending time with, he is just such a decent human and is so lovely. Yes if you've been with me for a while, well you'll know that was that guy I told I liked. Now luckily for me he was cool about that, like looking back now I feel like maybe I just let emotions get to me. Like yes he's lovely but I dont see him like that now. He's such a funny and caring guy and I'm so grateful that I have him in my little world now. He is now friend 1 which he was rather pleased with, since chummy went to best friend I had space at friend 1 and he was bumped up that ranks. He lets me be myself and thats all I want from people, I thought I'd be shy when I met him but I think we clicked when we met. I was myself around him and was like how I am with chummy, I didnt see that coming but I feel like this human could be around for a long time and I really hope he is.

Tsum Tsums |
A simple pleasure in my life right now. Now I was never that bothered about them but now I'm 40 tsum tsums strong and my collection will soon grow. I just love how I can arrange them, Its something I can play around with for hours and its disney. Disney is my favourite thing in the world and having the characters looking at me whilst I write makes me very happy.

Music |
While some people see music as something to listen to, I see it as something to feel. Im that person who listens to everyone and analyses a song. I love hearing the lyrics and I love the goosebumps I get when I hear my favourite song. Music also comes in very handy for our careoke sessions. Now these are normally a chummy thing but sometimes we have L in on the madness. Its something that makes me so happy. 

A new series on Netflix |
I love a good series on netflix and nothing pleases me more than finding a new series to get obsessed with. Now because I work part time that means I have three days where I can watch netflx all day long. I've just finished bates motel and my word, that was so good (Sorry chummy). I mean I've been telling everyone I know about it. I need to find a new series to get obsessed with but I also just love having something to watch in bed, the TV is fine but nothings better than snuggling into bed, disney teddys surrounding me and watching a good show.

Make up |
I never used to be a make up girl. All through school I was make up free. Now I dont leave the house without it. I just love how much confidence it gives me. I also love going make up shopping and trying new looks, I tried a dark lip last week and I become obsessed with it. I now love a dark lip and I'm excited to try out some new looks.

Days with friends |
These days are the best kind of days for me. Now me and chummy do tend to spend a lot but a few weeks ago we went out on a picnic and spend very little money. I had the most amazing day. I dont care if the day is just spent round each others house, time with my favourite people is what I need. They take my mind off things and days like this just make me realise how lucky I am. My sister hates because I go out a lot now, I love it so much. My favourite people in the world and me. Thats all I need right now. For once I'm happy with the people in my life, theres no fake people in it I'm happy with the decisions I'm making. I just hope that these lovely humans are going to be with me for a long time. I'd be quite lost without them now.

Pets |
My pets are something that makes me happy, granted my rabbit scratches me a lot but we're working on that. My little guinea pig is my main pet happiness though, I got her just after I left my first job. I was feeling a little lonely and I wanted something that I could look after. Shes the sweetest little thing and cuddles with her are the best.

Doodling |
An odd one now but drawing random little doodles makes me very happy. At work and and chumster have eggs that we draw little faces on and name them. Now this was started by another women but we are basically parents to the three eggs that sit in our department, we change them when they go out of date, draw new faces and we actually take time to name them. It sounds so silly but the doodles make us happy. I also love keeping a little notebook near my keyboard, when I get a little bored I like to do a few doodles. It re-focuses my mind and lets me escape for a little bit.

Well I hope you enjoyed that little look at the things that make me happy. I would love to know what makes you all happy so please let me know in the comments.

Lotd of love,
Chloe xxx


What Happened Last Week | May 16th-22nd

Hello lovelies,
Last week was very odd for me. I spent half of it very worried I'd ruined an amazing friendship and the other half was just a little bit of a blur. Now it wasn't the most exciting week but its fair to say that the end of the week was my favourite. If you want to know all about my week, grab a nice cup of tea, a few biscuits and settle down to be immersed in my world.



Monday |
Now I had Monday off, that meant I got a few blog bits done. Sorted through some of the stuff in my room. Now I did clean my room but as we speak, I've had to push all the crap off my desk just to find my keyboard. I had a pretty relaxed day, I started bates motel series 4 which I was thrilled about, nothing else really happened on Monday.

Tuesday |
Hmmmm now this is the day things went a little wrong. I had work in the evening, I had a shift which is normally very fun. Now I'm not going to go into details but something happened and then we basically spent half the shift in silence, I feel a little bad for the guy I was working with but he found this very funny. I spent most of my shift holding back a lot of tears, went home and cried for a good half hour......luckily it all got sorted which was a weight of my mind, or so I thought. Ohhhh I also ordered some Alice in wonderland tsum tsums in the morning, they didn't have all of them but I managed to get the main ones.

Wednesday |
Another day off meant I had the whole day too watch bates. Now I'm proud to say that I managed to finish all of series 4 and my word it was good. I text my chummy quite a bit, she asked if I wanted to go shopping but I just felt like I needed a Chloe day. I just needed some time out from everything and I'd planned to watch some films after bates. Also I didn't want to interrupt the time with her boyfriend,  I'm sure I will have lots more opportunity's to get in the way of that but I thought I'd let the two of them have some quality time together. Chummy surprised me and got me these three tsum sums. Now she told me about the queen of hearts but surprised me with Flynn and Maximus!!!!



Thursday |
Thursday started off well and then turned into me in a really bad mood. Now luckily I had a shift with chummy later on that day. Now I'd just had enough of everyone at this point. I got some writing done for Friday though, I find that when I'm angry or upset I can write and write for hours and not stop. Now work was okay, it was brilliant but me and chummy got pecan plaits and some chocolate milk......that makes us sound like children but its exactly what I needed after that day.

Friday | 
Another day off and I spent most of the day just watching bates and top gear. I thoroughly enjoyed myself if I'm honest but the best part of my day was seeing my little cousin. I wasn't feeling great so I was snuggled on the couch watching top gear, now she was playing with her toys but came over to me and we had some lovely cuddles and played around with the snapchat filters. Now obviously I didn't post those, I wouldn't post pictures of people on my social media without them knowing. Like she's the sweetest 5 year old and I love her to pieces. I now have some adorable selfies with her and she's know my background, honestly her little smile reminds me to keep positive and happy.

Saturday |
Another shift at work but this one meant I got to see some of my favourite people. Now I'll admit that maybe I was very irritable. I know that but I just felt like things were still awkward between me and someone. Luckily its all good now, I don't think I'd know what to do if I'd ruined that friendship. Honestly like it was little a break up and after that I'm not so sure I want a boyfriend right now. That was hard enough haha. Anyway after work me and L went round to chummy's. Now that was after much indecision on our group message, anyway we went round and ruined what could have been a nice relaxing night in on her own. We sat in her room, chatted for a while and played cards against humanity. Now I didn't realise how fun that game was, I mean now I've played it once I really want to buy it now so I can have little movie nights with drinks and CAH. Yes chummy that's going to be happening, make sure you and L have a free night at some point.





Sunday |
This Sunday my chummy got a well deserved Sunday off......now that's great but that meant I was chummy-less at work. I wont lie to you, I felt a little lost. Like in work she's is like my other half and its weird her not being there. I get a little quiet when she's not in, I just feel very vulnerable and that sounds so silly. I guess its just because I feel like I can only really be full on chummy with her. Now luckily my chumster was prepared for this, he was very good and made sure he was on hand to chat to me and make me giggle. He also let me be princess for the day, in our department its known that chummy is a princess but I thought I'd take that title. He went along with it so I got to be the princess of the department for the day. Now when someone went home I made sure I got my way, I got my chumster with me so that meant he was trapped and made the effort to talk Disney with me. For the first part of my shift I got to work with the most funny sarcastic women you will meet. Between the two of them I managed to have a pretty good shift, I got a little sad when chumster left at 2:30 but all was good. I actually chatted more to the other guy I work with, he made a joke about me burning toast which was unlike him. Like he's not normally that chatty, it was nice to actually chat to him. He is actually quite funny when you have a conversation with him.

So that was my week. It had its up and it had its downs. I've learnt this week that maybe sometimes I need to just keep my thoughts to myself, like I understand that I can be a bit moany. I guess I've also been having some blogging doubts this week. Lately it just feels like professional Daydreamer isn't mine. I know it is but I feel like I'm suddenly very aware of what I'm uploading. Maybe I'm just having a little moment of madness. I think at some point maybe I need a little break from it. I'm not really sure right now, like Ill schedule my posts and then just take that week away from my world online. Just to get a clearer view of things.

Friday, 20 May 2016

How Is This My Fault |

Hello lovelies,
I'm writing this on Thursday purely because I'm angry at everyone right now. I will explain in a minute but right now I just feel like all the blame is being put on me, I now feel like I'm being made out to be the problem.

Living in my house is hard, now I'm not going to sit here and say I have it bad. I don't I'm just so done now. Living in a house where your every move is scrutinised is getting to me now. Everything I do is constantly compared and no matter how I try, well my sister will always be the favourite. No matter what she does, what she says or how she acts.....well it will always just be one of those things. She'll never get in trouble for it. In February I cut off contact with her. I'd had enough and since then I've been a million times happier with myself and my confidence has grown so much.



It took me years to realise it but my sister is poisonous, she always has been. I love her yes, but that doesn't mean I'll put up with her anymore. To be honest its more just love because its always been there and I don't know how to get rid of it. As horrible as this is, well each day I feel like that connection with her is slowly fading and its making me feel more sane everyday. In my house I get moaned at if I swear, I respect my parents and don't really swear in front of them. Her on the other hand, well she swears constantly and never gets pulled up on it. She has no job because she quit, she goes out and spends money even though she's in her overdraft. I go out and buy some clothes from primark and I'm treated like I've committed a crime. I go out round chummys to have a few drinks and come home at midnight and they get a little annoyed, she's been out drinking and doing drugs before and everyone just let it happen. 

Now I don't have anything to do with her, her voice is just like background noise now. It goes over my head because I cant speak to her. With me you can get chance after chance but at some point I snap, that doesn't mean that I'll start an argument. With me that simply means that I'll stop trying. I'll cut you out of my life and that's it, I've done it before and I will do it again if I have to. I explained to all my family, they all said they understood. Today it seems like a different story. I don't speak to my sister anymore, yes we live together but I let everything she says go right over my head. It's the only way I can cope with her. Its been like this since February and since then I've been having the most amazing time. I have no one to embarrass any more. Now one judging my every move. My family know how much happier I've been and how much I've come out of my shell. 

My mum and aunt said that I'm just carrying it on, that I'm not helping it and I'm just making things hard. That she's trying and I'm being pathetic. I made the point of why should I bother, I'm happier since I've cut that poison out of my life and she said well your just making it hard for everyone to live here. Apparently this is all my fault, that fact that I wont speak to the thing that's made my life hell for so many years, the person who has always crushed any bit of happiness or confidence I got because of jealousy. When I said that I'm much happier they said well you're making it more difficult for everyone living here. Like my happiness isn't important. All the sh*t she's put us through over the years apparently means nothing, I'm still the one who's in the wrong. I'm the one who gets in trouble for the littlest things when she just gets away with everything.

I'm getting to the point where I'm ready to give up on this family. We just don't work anymore, its clearly me that's the issue and that's fine. I've spent most of my life doing things for myself, no help because I don't like asking because I know it makes me look weak. I'm used to being on my own but I always knew I had my families support. Now, well I don't really think I have them anymore. Every bit of happiness I have in my life, I've worked bloody hard to get. Here are the things that make me so happy right now, my blog, my friends and my job. I worked bloody hard on the blog to make sure it was everything I wanted it to be. I made it all on my own and that's something that fills me with so much happiness. My friends are the people who fill me with so much happiness. They see me for who I am, I don't need to pretend with them. They like me just the way I am. My job, its not the most exciting job in the world but its mine. I make the most out of work and I'm always willing to do extra shifts to be able the get little extra money to save. I'm lucky to work with the most caring bunch, I even found my best friend through this job.



I'm a little lone wolf in this world now and you know what? That's okay. I've got all the happiness I have right now without the help of anyone else, like my best friend said. Sometimes its better to be a lone wolf, no one can disappoint you then. Shes right, I've spent my life trying to live up to other peoples expectations and the people have just dissapoinetd me. I know who's imporatnt to me and I'm going to make sure I hold onto them. I had a little google to find out some of the meanings of lone wolf, one that I found is perfect for me "It means that they used to belong to a group and left to become stronger. A wolf leaves its pack to create a stronger one until he's got more followers he's a Lone wolf". Now my family is my pack but I just need to do it alone now. I'm sick of the constant comparisons and being made to feel like I'm in the wrong. I like to think I've started to create my own little pack. I've found people who I have so much love for who don't care that I'm a little strange, they stick by me and let me be who I want to be. My pack is very small right now but on my little lonesome journey I hope to add more people to the amazing little circle of frineds I have right now.


Thursday, 19 May 2016

Social Media | Follow Me

Hello lovelies,
Ive been loving using all my social medias lately. Now some of you may follow me but for those who don't, ill be posting all my links under each social media. So what social medias am I actually on? Well let me tell you....

Twitter | daydreamawayxx


Out of all my social media I update this the most. I love that I can tweet anything I like and its such a good way to connect with more bloggers and my readers. Now I tweet a lot of nonsense but for some reason people favourite them sometimes. This is normally my favourite form of social media. The one thing that bothers me about twitter is that when I want to rant, I have to do it in several tweets. It then just doesn't really make sense if its staggered in peoples feeds.


Snapchat | daydreamawayxx


Now I used to have snapchat when I was at school but I didn't really like it, now I have it for my blog. Now I didn't have it before because I never wanted to show my face. You all now know what I look like, therefore I can use snapchat and make boring little stories for you all. I'm also loving the filters, today I found the unicorn one and was loving life. I love unicorns so this is definitely one I'll be using a lot. If you want to add me on snapchat


Instagram | professional_daydreamerxx


Instragram is a favourite of mine, especially now that I actually post selfies on there. I feel like I have so much more freedom on instagram now because I can actually upload photos without worrying that you can see what I look like. MY ugly face is known to you all now, there's nothing for me to be scared of now.


Google+ | Professional Daydreamer x


Now I wouldn't really say I use this but I do post my blog posts on here and then onto some of the communities I'm joined to for the blog. Now I don't use this to tell you all things, like this one is mainly just for links to my blog posts. 


Facebook |


I have a Facebook page which I really want to start using more. Ill basically be using this to update you on little bits about my day, posts and maybe a few nice pictures here and there.

Wednesday, 18 May 2016

Money worries |

Hello lovelies,
I had the worst day yesterday, which basically meant me crying for most of my evening. Now all is okay now and I'm not really sure how it escalated to that level but now I just want to find this persons and surprise cuddle them.

Now today I wanted to talk about money.  Now I don't earn a bad wage for the hours I do but I'm now very bad with money. I used to be so good at saving but over the last few months I've been spending all my wages within a few weeks of getting them. Why? Well I've been having fun and as much as I've been loving that, I need to start being more careful with my money.

On the way home on Saturday me and L have a very insightful chat about money. Now he made a very good point. Now he wouldn't go out with us clubbing, I've now bailed on that because of the same reasons. Now he made the good point that he doesn't earn as much and he needs to save, now in our little circle of friends we all work different hours which means we all get paid different amounts. Now that's fine but at the end of a month I won't have as much left as others, he said sometimes he thinks we forgot he doesn't earn as much. Now that's why I decided not to go. After looking at my bank it was clear that I couldn't afford to go out drinking when I knew I wouldn't have as good a night. Now after chatting to the guy at work who was going to come with us, well he said about money as well. Right now we can't really afford and as bad as I feel I need to be careful. 

Now this month I've put £200 away in savings for Disney and I've also a managed to pop away an extra £200. Now I have about £50 left until payday and if I'd have gone out that would all be gone. Now that I've decided not to go out I have enough for my travel to busted, petrol to Harry Potter studios and maybe a chocolate frog or some peppermint toads. Now that means I'll have more money for the important stuff. 
I'm planning on saving £400 each month if I can but I have to save £200. The rest is just a bonus.

Now the reason why I've been spending so much is because I've been getting concert tickets and doing fun things that I want to do. I used to say no to everything when I was younger. That meant I'd get left out a lot and I guess I'm scared that if I don't go out then I'll become the boring friend. Sometimes I'm spending money on things that I don't want to do, clubbing being one of them. Now I love clubbing but in a group, I don't mind it just two people but sometimes I feel like I'm just getting in the way or that I'll be to annoying for the other person. Last week I had three amazing days that were either really cheap or three. That was just me spending time with my friends, that was free and I had the most amazing three days.

This is the first thing I've bailed on and I feel so guilty for it. Like my dad made a good point a few days ago and it's been playing on my mind. When I go clubbing I go out to get drunk, doing that in putting myself into a vulnerable position and putting myself at risk. Yes I like a drink but I'm going out to spend loads of something that will stay in my system for a few hours. I guess I'm scared that I'm maybe starting to see alcohol as a solution to a bad day. Like I like a drink of course I do but I don't drink to get drunk, clubbings different. I feel uncomfortable in a club so I have to get drunk to feel okay. Like I love it when I'm there and having fun but I don't want to do that all the time. Especially when I'm not feeling it, I have to be in the right state of mind to go out and this week in just not feeling it. There's a lot going on and I just want my friends, and nights in having fun because it's taking my mind off it all.

I don't regret spending my money lately, I've been doing the most amazing things and making memories with my friends. Adele being one of them. My ticket for adele was expensive but I had the most phenomenal night. Now if I say no to going out I feel guilty, I have to say no at some point and as bad as I feel I just can't afford to waste money when I'm not feeling it. Most of the time I'm up for clubbing but I guess I just don't want to feel like I'm in the way, I don't want to waste money when I know I'm going to feel uncomfortable for the night.

I guess money is really stressing me out right now. Would I tell people that? No. I just feel like I need to cut back a little, if I know I'm going to have an amazing night then I'll go, if not well I'm going to have to say no. One person I know says no to almost everything and I now understand how annoying it must be for him when we nag him. So L I'm sorry if I moan that you bail on plans, I get it and I'm not going to try and make you go out if you don't want to. Anyway that's about it for me today.

Lots of love,
Chloe



Tuesday, 17 May 2016

Primark Haul |

Hello lovelies,
On Friday me and chummy went shopping again. Now I don't normally get any clothes, I'm always just to scared to try new outfits and normally just stick to my jeggings and a baggy top. Most of the time I just get Disney tops and pyjamas from primark but for once I actually got adult clothes.

Pink ruffle skater skirt | £10
I've had my eye on this skirt for a few months but I've always been a little scared to buy it. Now I really love this and I feel like I have a little more confidence to buy and wear skirts now. I paired this with one of the tops I got and I actually really liked the outfit. 


Navy ruffle skater skirt | £10
Another one of the skirts. Now I loved the pink so much so I decided I needed it in Navy, now theres a few reasons why I wanted a dark coloured skirt. Girls you may understand why but if you don't then I'll leave that up to your imagination. Now I really love this one, I think this will be really nice for autumn as well.


Long sleeved polka dot top | £5
Now I love the sprinkle of glitter clothes on simply be but unfortunately I'm not made of money. I love the clothes and normally with her skater skirts she wears a long sleeved top like this. Now I love the polka dots on this and its perfect for me, I don't really like showing my arms so this is the perfect item for me.


Floral top | £4
I had to look in two primarks for this but I'm so happy I found it. This is such a pretty top for the summer and it will go so well with my skirts.


Baby pink shrug | £6
Knowing that I don't like showing my arms, chummy found this in primark so luckily I got myself one. This is so light to wear and will be really good for if it gets a little cold.


Mint green top | £4
In this photo the top doesn't look as green but its such a lovely shade. I love light materials like this, they're just so much easier to wear in the hot weather.


Grey collar top | £6
My favourite top is this one. I just love the colour on this and it looks so pretty with my pink skirt. Also I don't need to wear an under top with this one.


Peach floral sandals | £6
Normally these sandals don't fit my massive feet but since I've lost a little weight my feet have got a tad slimmer, that means my feet now fit into pretty shoes like these. I adore these and they were such a good price.



Frozen flip flops | £2.50
Now I couldn't go into primark and not get anything Disney. I got these frozen flip flops, like I wont wear these out but they're perfect for the garden or just popping to my aunts house in. Also my little cousin will love these.


Well that's all I got from primark. I'm actually really happy with everything I got and I cant wait to make cute little outfits for the summer.

Monday, 16 May 2016

What happened last week | May 9th-15th

Hello lovelies,
Last week was a pretty good week for me but there's been an awful lot of stuff going on in my head that I haven't told anyone. I had the most amazing time with my friends and it really made appreciate the people I have in my life right now and I want to chat about what happened last week.

Monday |
Monday was the most amazing day. Me and chummy went on a lovely little picnic and then met L for a lovely stroll in the park. Now if you want to hear more about that then you can click here. We also went for a nice drive, just the three of us. That time made me realise how lucky I am to have two amazing people in my life. It also made me realise just how much everything is changing, now that's fine but now I'm trying to make the most out of the time I have with them. At some point this will all change and as hard as that's going to be, well I'm just glad I've had the time with them now.

Tuesday |
On Tuesday I had work again, now it wasn't that fun. Why? Because I was doing a 10-2. I don't normally mind that  but lately my manager has been putting me on the lates every Tuesday and I much prefer that. I love doing the clapped news because normally it's me, chummy and chumster. Now work was pretty busy and it was just me on my own. That was okay but I just needed to get in my own little zone. After work I spent that whole night watching bates motel. This is honestly the best series I've watched in months. I finished all of series 1 and I'm actually pretty impressed.

Wednesday |
Another 10-2 shift, this shift went pretty quick but I was in no mood for work. Now the night before I dreamt about this guy that I met about a month ago. Sadly nothing happened with us and we haven't spoke since, it's been playing in my mind and that hasn't been helped by being surrounded by happy couples. Now I feel like mega bitch right now but it's hard for me to be around that, as happy as I am for the people in relationships it's still hard that I'm just the friend that feels like a bit of a joke. Would I tell them that? No. I just feel like I'm getting in the way, I know that no one wants a tag along and I've always been that in life. 

Thursday |
I was supposed to be doing a 4:30-8:30 shift but I got called into work early. Now I didn't mind but I knew I wasn't going to be in the best mood. Work was fine I guess, I mean nothing special happened and I'm annoyed that I was called in early because that meant I didn't get to see my aunt.

Friday |
Payday was finally here and that meant a nice shopping day with chummy. I got so many nice new clothes and I'll be doing a haul of them tomorrow. We had a nice breakfast and then a nice nando's lunch later. In the evening we had decided to have a nice movie night, that meant chummy and L came round mine. Now they hadn't been to my house before and I was quite worried, I just worried they'd hate my room or something silly. Now me and L are slightly obsessed with bates motel so we popped that on to try an get chummy obsessed, sadly I don't think that worked. I had such a nice night with my friends, I mean I feel like maybe they were a little bored but I had a nice night anyway. 

Saturday |
I had Saturday off this week and that meant a whole day of bates motel. I also had to get ready to go out. I was going round to chummy's to watch Eurovision with L. He hadn't met her boyfriend so she wanted them both to meet, thankfully that went well. Now that basically meant me and L on one couch chatting about bates, I mean I also spent most of the night resting my feet on L. He didn't say anything so I just carried using him as my foot rest. Now we ended up laying on her floor near the kitchen playing with her cat. 

After Eurovison we left, I was going to get a cab home but L gave me a lift. He drove round so didn't drink, that meant a nice drive home is an incredible smelling car and some very good car chats. Now we don't do anything just the two of us so I was genuinely worried that we may have some awkward silences, we didn't and we spoke about a lot in the 5-10 minute drive. I was nice to chat to him just the two of us, now this is the same guy I told I liked a few months ago. He was the sweetest and I'm so happy he still wanted me as a friend. Like he's honestly one of the best people I have in my life right now and I want him around for a very long time time. I have a friend that gets where I'm coming from on certain things but I guess I'm a little scared that I'm going to lose him at some point. Like the lovely guy he is he dropped me home and waited to make sure I got into my house okay.

Sunday |
Another full day at work and I got to see my chumster. I haven't seen him in a while and I've missed him an awful lot. He's one of my favourite people to work with, over the last few months we have got much closer and it's so nice to have someone who I can have no boundaries with at chat about anything. Me and chummy has a nice McDonald's lunch, a lot of giggles and a nice easy close. Now I had no plans for Sunday night so I decided to have people free night. I guess this week I've had so much going on in my head, as happy as I've seemed on the outside....well I've been breaking on the inside. It's hard for me to be on a constant hype. I always feel like I'm then one who needs to be happy, the one who needs to cheer people up and constantly make sure they're okay. 

It's funny but there's still no one in my life who can tell that I'm feeling like this on the inside. The only time people notice is if I'm quiet, no one can see past the fake smile and this week it's been so hard to keep it together. I've been feeling so insecure and so anxious but I've told no one because I don't want to be a burden. I've shared a lot and I wish I hadn't, some people know me to well now and that scares me. At any point they could walk out of my life and they have all of me, that's been playing on my mind recently. No one sees the real me and the fact there are people who now know everything, well I'm scared that they'll get bored. That they'll move on from me and then it's like everything I've shared doesn't matter. I guess its dawning on me that my whole life I've always been the one that gets left behind because I'm just not good enough. I'm scared that I've let people know to much, have I got to close? It's my own issue and I know it is but I find it hard to explain to people without sounding really pathetic.

Well that's what happened last week. I had a few amazing days and they really helped me take my mind off things, Monday, Friday and Saturday were my favourite days. I got to spend them with some amazing people. Another silly highlight of the week was that on Saturday I got chatting to chummys boyfriend about doctor who. She's got a good egg there, anyone who likes doctor who is a winner in my book. Now chummy you have two people in your life who like doctor who........that means you sort of need to catch up to us now. Just think of the whovian we can turn you into haha.



Saturday, 14 May 2016

Walk In The Sun |

Hello lovelies,
This Monday I had the most incredible day with my two favourite people. Now the way my rotas are being done means at the minute I'm getting Monday and Friday's off normally. Now all weekend we have has such amazing weather and me and chummy have been stuck at work, we decided that we were going to spend our day off Monday at the park with a picnic. Now in the morning we headed out to buy our picnic food, in the end we basically purchased a banquet of food each. Did we need it all? No but it was delicious and it definitely gave us enough just in case anyone else joined us. Now on the way to get snacks chummy told me that our friend L wanted to go shopping, now he was contemplating joining us on out little picnic but wasn't sure.

After we has purchased what seemed like the whole of the supermarket, we headed back to chummys to pack our picnic and see what L was actually doing. Now he decided that he was going to join us but he needed to shower, have lunch and knowing him just contemplate going about ten times. We got in the car, popped on some good music for careoke and drake to our cute little picnic spot. L decided that he would join us after he had lunch so me and chummy had a nice lunch just the two of us. I like to think we got a pretty good spot for lunch, below I'll pop a few pictures of our feast.





 After a nice lunch and some good chats we then met up with L and went for a nice stroll in the park. Well that was just after a few group selfies. Now it was so nice to just spend time with my two favourite humans, strolling through the park and having some very good chats. I haven't seen him in a while and even though its not been that long, I missed him a little. Now the weather was so beautiful outside and I got to spend my day getting blog pictures and having a lot of laughs with two people who in such a short space of time have grown to mean the world to me. Here are some of the pictures I took while we were walking.











I also got some pictures of flowers which I just love, now to you they may not look that great but I'm really happy with these pictures. I just love the colour and they just made me feel so happy. The park has changed a lot since I was last there, like its got much better but a bit simpler. I like that, I could just relax and enjoy the time I had outside. Now I spend most of my time inside and in the last few months I've really started to appreciate the time I get outside.






After our nice little stroll around the park L went home for a bit and me and chummy went back to hers. After about half hour we went to pick him up and then decided to go for a long drive, that meant a lot more careoke and then a walk along the beach. Now at this point it had started raining but I just didn't care. No amount of rain was going to ruin such an amazing day. 

I'm lucky to have some really important people in my life now, people who I would have never spoken to before and I now cant imagine my life without them. Chummy you two honestly mean the world to me me, like you fill my life with so much happiness and know exactly what to say to cheer my up. Thank you for being part of some amazing memories that I'll cherish forever.