Monday, 18 April 2016

What happened last week | 11th April-17th April

Hello lovelies,
Last week was a mix of good and bad. It ended the best way possible but right now I'm just feeling a little empty. If I'm honest I'm hurting to much, I can hardly breath because I feel like at the moment I'm going to burst into tears. Today sort of means the end of something for me, like to others its nothing important but that means its hard for me to get excited for everyone else being happy around me. That sounds horrible but I just cant get excited for people that I care about. Not in a mean way, I'm so happy that everyone around me is all loved up, its just that after today I'm probably not going to see the man I love again, like I haven't see him in a while but the thought that I could was a comfort. Now well its just hurting me a little, but I'll be okay.



Monday |
Well I had the day off on Monday so it was nice to just take the day, reflect on the week before and get some writing done. After the weekend I just needed time away from work to try and calm myself down, I was still so angry with the women I work with for thinking it was acceptable to talk about me behind my back to my work friends. 

Tuesday |
On Tuesday I was working a late shift with the best two people in my department, our manager never normally lets us work a late together. I think she knows that we all just feed off each others energy so we spend most of our time giggling. I also had a chat with the guy I work with about the events of the week before, he always knows exactly what to say to put a more positive spin on things. I think that's what I needed.

Wednesday |
Another day off meant I had time to pop and see my aunt. I love going and seeing her, she's the only person who can calm me down when I'm stressed or upset. She let me go on a massive rant about work and my sister and provided me with tea and biscuits. What more could I want from one of my favourite people.

Thursday |
Another shift at work meant more time with my chummy. Its either the customers are getting ruder or I'm just going more easily wound up. I was stressed and I forgot to wear my jacket, It slipped my mind but I forgot. Our work mumma noticed my arms and asked "Have you been hurting yourself?". I didn't have the heart to tell her that I'd slipped back into something that I managed to stop. I don't really know how to stop now thought. That's whats scaring me, I cant. After that I realised that maybe its time I went and got some help. So I think I might be making myself a little appointment soon to try and speak to someone. 

Friday |
My final day off for the week meant me and my chummy could go and have a nice London day before seeing muse in the evening. We headed into London, went to the crumbs and doilies bakery. Got some amazing cakes which we then devoured over the weekend. It was pouring rain so we got soaked, that didn't stop us from visiting the Disney store and having photos with the Cinderella carriage. We then went for a lovely meal at the harvester and went in to see muse. I was going to review it but even thought muse are amazing live, well it wasn't the best just purely because I didn't know any of their new music. If your a muse fan then I would highly recommend seeing them live, they are amazing live and it was a good night.

Saturday |
Another shift with the women that has an issue with me and my chummy. She moaned because I hadn't taken a meal out, but I had loads to take out and I was trying to do them in order. It didn't help that I was doing the work of three people because the others we having a chat. She then started bitching about me and chummy again when I went for my break. I'm speaking to my manager about how she's been this week, its just spite and that's what bothers me. Anyway after work me and Shannon (Chummy) went shopping, had high school musical and Disney careoke then finished the night by seeing jungle book. I will be reviewing that at some point.

Sunday |
Sunday was my favourite part of the week. Basically after a pretty bad week at work, Sunday seemed a little better. I just tried to focus on my job instead of the woman who has an issue with me. On Saturday mine and chummy's friend was going to meet us to have a good car chat but he said he wanted more than just ten minutes with us, he then suggested we all went for a drive to watch the sunset. That was my main focus of the day, after work I quickly got changed and waited for L to pick me and chummy up. We drove and just parked and sat in his car for about 2 hours just chatting and ranting about all our problems. Its moments like that, that made me realised that all I need right now is good friends. I got to spend a few hours with my two favourite people, these are people who I've know for less than a year. Well I've know chummy for a year now but I've only know L for about 4 months. That was just what I needed to get over a bad week. 

So that's what happened last week, I woke up reasonable happy but when I realised what today meant. Well I'm not not sure how to cope with this, to others its pathetic but I'm hurting and I know what I'll end up doing. I'm just hoping that this week will be better than today.