Friday, 29 April 2016

Monthly favourites | April 2016

Hello lovelies,
April has flown by and I actually forgot it was the end of the month. Now April's been a weird one for me, there's been lots go highs and lots of lows but I'm feeling a lot better and ready to start may in a very happy place.

Beauty |
I got this mascara yesterday but I'm already loving it. Its the Rimmel volume colourist mascara and it has lash tint in it. After a days use I can already see that my lashes are looking darker without mascara. I'm sure this will be in my may favourite's as well. It also makes my lashes look really long and covers each lash really well, Ive found that this one also doesn't clump my lashes like other ones by rimmel.

Lush |
The cherry blossom bubble bar has been my favourite this month. It looks and smells so good and it made my skin feel nice and soft. Also the bubbles were so soft and the water turned a lovely shade of pink. I would recommend picking this bubble bar up if they have it in your local lush store.

Film |
Jungle book. Now I wasn't a fan of the new jungle book but I'm putting git in my favourites because its the only film I saw this month, also I cant fault it on the graphics. The animals were so life like and I think that's what made it so much more scarier. I was genuinely frightened because everythtng looked so realistic, I just feel like they ruined the original Disney version that I grew up watching.

Book |
One line a day. This isn't a book to read but I've been loving my one line a day diary. I've wanted one for a while now, so a few weeks ago I got one. I'm living filling this in everyday and its nice to look back and see what I did or what happened on certain days.

Youtubers |
Ive been obsessed with pixiwoo this month. I love watching all their tutorials and trying to re create some of the looks myself. I've also been enjoying their videos where they test high end against high street. Its really interesting to see if you can get dupes of high end products.

Song |
Stone cold by Demi Lovato. The lyrics to this song connect with me on so many levels, I have spent many  night weeping to this but I think its helped me get a little bit of closure on a certain situation. Like am I over it, no and I don't think I ever will be. Do you ever get over a first love? But I think its helped me close that chapter of my life. 

TV show |
I've really got back into hollyoaks this month, now when I'm busy I don't really get time to watch my favourite soaps but this month I've made time. I'm loving the story lines and theres just so much character development going on. 

Random |
Time with friends. This month my chummy has been my little saviour. I don't think she realises just how much she's helped. Its just nice to to know that I have her, like I know that if I'm sad she's the one person who manages to put a smile on my face. I also had the most amazing evening a few weeks ago, after a really stressful week at work me, chummy and our friend went for a little sunset drive and had some really good chats. Its moments like this that really make me see just how lucky I am. After spending years at school with fake friends I think I've finally found someone who might be willing to stick with me. I mean even if she doesn't she's already made me so much happier and more confident. 

Thursday, 28 April 2016

Mini Superdrug Haul |

Hello lovelies,
I went out today and somehow found myself rain into the make up in superdurg. Now at the minute they're doing 3 for 2 on all make up products. I'd seen a few things advertised that I wanted to try so I got them and a few little extras. Now this wont be a very interesting post but I'm very excited about some of the products I got, If I like them them I'll be doing a few reviews for you all.

Palmolive chocolate passion |
My aunt popper round this morning and she was telling me about this shower gel. Now I normally just use a fruity shower gel, normally the original source lemon. Now I went in there and has to find this, its honestly the best smelling thing in the world. This smells just like a chocolate mouse and I cant wait to try this out in the shower. Also because it's a body butter shower cream, I'm looking forward to seeing if it makes my skin moisturised, this may need to be purchased again.

Maybelline dream satin liquid |
This is that same foundation that I always get but mine was running low, I thought I would pick up another one just so I don't run out. This is the lightest shade they do and I find that its perfect for me. Its also a really light foundation so it doesn't really feeling like I'm wearing it.

Maybelline setting spray |
Normally if I want to set my make up I just spray my face with hair spray, which is fine but its really strong and also it always ends up in my eyes. Not a very good idea. I saw this today and shout I would give it a go. I'm going out after work on Saturday so I'm going to do my make up before work, use this spray and see i my make up lasts. Obviously I will top up my make up a little but this may save me a lot of time.

Rimmel volume colourist mascara |
I usually use the Maybelle lash sensational. I'm still going to use that but I saw this advertised and needed to try it. This one has lash tint in it so apparently after two weeks you should have tinted eyelashes even without the mascara. Now I was looking getting my eyelashes tinted. My eyelashes are so fair so they look like I have none, I actually have long lashes but I'm hoping this works. I'll give you the verdict in a few weeks. 

Maybelline gel eyeliner |
My eyeliner ran out about a week ago so I've been using my balks eye shadow for about a weeks. It actually works but I that it was best to get a new one. I saw this one and thought I would try it. Now I used to use an eyeliner pen but since Ive been using my fine liner brush, well I think I can do it better with the brush. Now I thought you may get a bit more product in this but I'm sure it will last me a while. I'm looking forward to trying it out and giving you all a little review of this one. Now I wont be using the brush that comes with it, I just find my real techniques fine liner brush much easier to use.

Wednesday, 27 April 2016

Routine |

Hellos lovelies, 
Yesterday's I lot my badge for work. This is the badge I use to swipe in and out of work and it also has my locker key on it. Now to most people this wouldn't stress them out but I spend last night in tears because I couldn't find it. It seems like a silly thing but that happening took me out of my routine.

Now only my family know this about me but I have my little routines that I have to keep. Like it's things like time keeping, knowing where things are and knowing what I'm doing months in advance. Ever since I was little I've had my little ways that I don't like changing. That's why I'm quite an anxious person and the fact that I've lost my badge has stressed me out. Like I told my chummy and I think she was just like oh it's okay, it doesn't matter but to me that's caused me so much stress. My badge comes home with me and goes on my little trinket tray that had a dream catcher print on it. It's not there and it's bothering me, everyday I come home and put it there and now I'm out of my routine.

Time keeping is another thing. I hate being late for things, I'm the person who's rather turn up 10 days early than 10 minutes late for something. At work I'm so scared on being late that I've now got into the habit of swiping in ten minutes early and starting work ten minutes early. I hate it if I'm a few minutes over, even though my shift hasn't technically started. If I think I'm going to be late for something I'll do everything in my power to make sure I'm on time and if I am late, I panic and cry. I don't know why but that's why I have my little routines's my life. I know that if I start work at 4 I'll leave at 3 even though it only takes me half hour to walk, I like knowing that I'll get to work at 3:30, go to my department to double check my shift time (Even though I know it), go to the canteen at 3:35 and have a drink then I'll go to my locker at 3:45 to get ready. I'll be waiting at the swipe machine at 3:49 ready to swipe at 3:50. I know it takes me exactly 27 seconds to get from the swipe machine to my department. It's little things like that that add up with me. I have little routines because I need it.

Having my routines is exactly what I need because it's my little bit of control, that sounds crazy but I can control what happens and I know I can rely on myself because there's a routine in place. That's why I like knowing my shifts a few weeks in advance, not because I can plan things to do around work. It's so that I can work out what time I need to get up for those shifts, what time I need to go to bed to have enough sleep and to see who I'm working with. I know how everyone in my department works. I know that if I have a late with chummy and C I don't get stressy because I know C will do the till because he knows how much it stresses me out, chummy will cook and I'll plate up and take the food out. I know that for 30 minutes I'll be cooking to cover her break, I know that we will get out on time. On the other hand I know that is I'm working with SP and SP I'll get out late. I know I'll be doing the job of three people and I have to mentally prepare myself for the shift. It's silly things but I have to plan so I know if I'm going to be having a good or bad shift.

I probably seem like the really eager friend but me, chummy, L and a few of their friends are going out Saturday. Now I need to plan that. Like I want to know exactly where we're going, what times and things like that. Because it's out of my normal routine for Saturday I need to plan a lot for it even though it's nothing special, I'm looking forward to it but I'm stressing because I need to know exactly what we're all doing. I know I seem crazy but my life seems odd when I don't stick to my routines. It stresses me out a lot and I end up shutting off and then just weeping. The badge thing just made me think about how my life needs to base around routine. It's an odd thing but I don't think people understand it. 

Like I wanted to get tickets for McFly and I'm hoping I do, chummy's boyfriend wants to go and I'm fine with that but I said I wouldn't go because he's not part of my routine. That's sound really odd but let me explain, chummy is part of my routine now. I see her most days and I know what I can expect from her, I know that she know my little looks and knows little things about me that make me feel comfortable. Like I'm used to her so I feel comfortable, it's not that I don't want him going. I what him to go because he loves mcfly just like me and chummy but I didn't want to go because I don't know him and it's like my little routines wouldn't like it, like I don't know what to expect from him and I won't be able to work him out. I had the exact same thing for adele, to be fair though L is such a lovely guy so I dont know why I worried about that. My mind just stressed about things like this. I like to think I know chummy rather well so I understand her little looks, like I don't know that with him so I guess I was reluctant because it's a new person to add to my routine and that stresses me out. I know now that I'll be stressing out about it if we get tickets and then won't stop stressing until it's over. 

My life if built on routine and if I slip out of it it causes me a lot of distress. I can't help it, I've always been the same and I wish I could change. Like only my family know why I have my routines and they have always known not to stop them because they know how stressy I'll get, like my mum will go places with me hours before we should be there so I know I'm on time. If I have to go somewhere I'll do the journey a week before so I know exactly where to go. Like I need order in my life and this is the only thing I can control, that's why losing my badge has stressed me out so much. Now I have to go and tell personnel and I'm worried I'll get in trouble, that's making me so anxious it's unreal but I need to just get on with it now.

Monday, 25 April 2016

What happened last week | April 18th-24th

Hello lovelies,
Last week was just a massive build up of emotions, it makes a lot of sense now but lets have a little chat about the events of the last week. You can hear the ups and the downs of a very rubbish week. Last week my blog suffered a lot, I didn't even post everyday because I just didn't feel like I was in the right frame of mind I know you'll understand but I just felt that I needed to apologise for that. I'm getting back on track and now, well I'm looking forward to writing this week.

Monday |
Monday was a pretty relaxed day if I'm honest with you. I had the day off work and I had planned to spend the day writing, as most of you can probably tell that didn't go according to plan. I basically just spent the whole day feeling sorry for myself. Basically someone I know was moving, I haven't seen this person in a while but now that they've left, well that means I don't have the option to see them anymore. Like we can all probably guess the person but it was closure on something that never even started. Like I was just feeling a little sad, luckily for me I had a nice film night on my own to try and make me feel better.

Tuesday |
Tuesday is when I felt my lowest, I got to work with my chummy in the evening but at work I ended up doing something that I shouldn't have. I took a long walk home to try and get my head straight, granted I spent most of the walk home in tears but after a very long chat with my chummy. Well I felt a hell of a lot better. I guess everything in life just got to me, life became to real if that makes sense. Like I think I just needed o reach that point to go no you've been sad, lets cheer up and be our happy self again.

Wednesday |
Another day at work which was fine but the woman I've been having a few issues with was in. She lets power go to her head, she hates the fact me and chummy are close. I guess because when I started I was very quiet but Shannon has become my little partner in crime at work, she hates the fact we have fun at work and lately it feels like she's been belittling us a lot. She made me go for a break, which is something she has no right to do. It sounds silly but we are all in charge of our own breaks now and I had said to her I was ready for mine, she still made me go and she did the same with Shannon. She let everyone else choose, that's what annoyed me. She has a problem with us and no one else, I wasn't sure why she was annoying me more but I worked that out a little later in the week. Chummy was going shopping in the evening and while she was there I asked her to pick me up the flash teddy from the Disney store. I also asked her to have a little look for the jungle book tsum tsums, she told me they didn't have any but surprised me with a box of the ones I wanted. Honestly the lovelies best friend I could ask for.

Thursday | 
Thursday was when I broke down. At work me, work mumma, the women I was having issues with and our manager all went to have a little chat. Basically my manager and cafe mumma were on my side but she kept on turning it all round on me, when I had done nothing wrong. Like I came out of there and burst into tears, my manager took me away for a bit and we had a little chat. I guess I just let everything get to me and this woman was helping. When I got back I even got a hug form chummy, like she doesn't like hugs but she will give me a voldemort hug when she knows I need it. Anyway that night it became a bit more clear why I've been so over emotional lately, after three months of nothing but monthly visitor arrived and my god she certainly made up for lost time. Like a catch up that I didn't really care for. 

Friday |
I spend the majority of the morning curled up in my bed in agony, unfortunately for me I had to get ready as my grandma was coming round. Not a visit I was looking forward to because she always makes me feel insulted every time she visits, I know she doesn't mean it but it always happens. Anyway after that chummy picked me up and she had a few things to do, I tagged along like a little puppy. She had the weekend off work which meant my life would be chummyless for a whole 4 days. 

Saturday |
I was working Saturday night, I wasn't feeling great but I got thorough my shift. Luckily for me it was me and work mumma. We both weren't in the best moods but she made me feel so much better, put a massive smile on my face when I just wanted to go home. She also got us sweets to get through the shift, I was quite happy about this. After work I went home, tucked myself into bed with a nice cider which I debated getting but after a little chat in a group message my fired convinced me that it would make me feel better, he was right. I snuggled into bed and then drifted of to sleep, only to be ruddy awakened by pain.

Sunday |
After being awake nearly a night I had to drag myself out of bed, get ready for work and then be in for 9. The day wasn't to bad but I had planned to have the guy I work with, with me all day on a section we work on. Luckily I got the lovely girl I work with because he has to do the till. He was supposed to be my chummy stand in, he kept popping in and out though to chat to me. I love our chats, we have actually become pretty close in work and I love having him around to chat to and have a giggle with. We share a lot which is weird for me, like I just feel super comfortable around him and I know he is one of the people who can cheer me up when I feel really sad or ill. Anyway I had to cover the cooks break which meant I had to get in my little zone of what I had to do, that meant talking to myself and singing to myself. Only a few people know I do this, the girl I worked with asked the guy I work with what I was doing. Luckily he knows me well enough to know that I sing to myself and talk to myself when I get stressed. After work I had a lovely bubble bath and cuddles with my little cousin, it was so nice to see her. Cuddles from her made the worries of the week just melt away.

Friday, 22 April 2016

Lush cherry blossom | Review

Hellos lovelies,
Today I'm reviewing the cherry blossom bubble bar from lush. I got this bubble bar last year but I've been saving it for when I need it most. Now I think these are in lush stores now but it used to be an Oxford street exclusive.

Here's what it said on the label "Pop your bath time cherry with this decadently sweet reusable bar. Fill your bath to the brim with bubbles by holding this willow stick bar under the tap, and then soak under a bubble cloud of intoxicating majorcan almonds. There's another one for another day too".

Ingredients |
Sodium Carbonate, Cream Of Tartar, Sodium Laureth Sulfate, Glycerine, Lauryl Betaine, Perfume, Almond Essential Oil, Rosewood Oil, Cedarwood Oil, Sicilian Lemon Oil, Alpha-isomethyl ionone, Citronellol, Coumarin, Eugenol, Farnesol, Geraniol, Limonene, Linalool, Snowflake Lustre, Calcium Sodium Borosilicate, Tin Oxide Colour 14700, Colour 45410, Colour 17200. 

Now for me this product would last two baths. Because there are two little bubble bars I wanted to use one at a time instead of running water on the whole bar. I really loved the look of this bubble bar because it was just really cute. I also love the shade of pink that's used for the bubble bars, it also has a little bit of shimmer on it that makes them really stand out. This bubble bar makes the water turn a lovely shade of pink and makes really silky smooth bubbles that are so nice to soak into.

I love the scent of the cherry blossom bubble bar, it's not to sweet but still has a really lovely smell of cherry. If you're from the UK you may remember the cherry drops that you can get. You may have them in your country but basically they are cherry flavoured hard boiled sweets, the smell and taste so good. That why I love this bubble bar because it smell just like the sweet. Lately some lush products haven't been the best for my skin, luckily this bubble bar made me skin feel really soft and hydrated. I noticed that the scent of the bubble bar did lighten when I got into the bath but I could still get the scent of it, it was so nice and relaxing after an extremely stressful week at work.

I would definitely buy this bubble bar again,  I'm hoping they get them in my locks lush store because I want to get a few more of them. I think the price was a little high though, I believe it was sprung the £6 mark. I think that's expensive considering it's only two little bubble bars, you can get a lot more product in the comforter bubble bar and it's less money. That's the only criticism I have for the product, it could be a little cheaper or could be bigger for the money. 

Lots of love,
Chloe xxx 

Thursday, 21 April 2016

Uncomfortable at work |

Hello lovelies, 
I had a plan for todays post but I need to get something off my chest. If you've been reading my what happened last week posts you'll know I've been having a few issues with one of the ladies I work with. Now normally I can handle her. Lately I just feel like she's been aiming it all at me and Shannon. 

Now at work me and Shannon like to have fun, we do all our work but we chat and laugh our way through our shift. I know we are full on sometimes and if someone says so, we always calm it down. But this woman waited until we left to start talking about us saying how we were to happy, to annoying and that we should be separated. Like she's been making little comments all the week that my manager was off and it's just made me angry. I normally let it go but it bothered me that she has an issue with me being happy in quite a sh*t job. I spent the last week in tears most nights about this. I had my resignation letter written out, not even something I told my chummy but I'm still tempted to hand it in. As much as I would moan about work for last few months I've been so happy there.

I get to work with my best friend almost every shift but now it just feels like I'm not even allowed it be happy at work. Like I ended up apologising to this woman. Why? She walks around like she is in charge, she speaks down to everyone, makes us feel small and I didn't want the hassle. She's the type of women to take everything to the managers, she's even taken out a grievance  against our manager. All the stress from this and stuff going on at home meant and I don't want to say this but, it's made me start self harming again. Like I'm trying so hard but I need to keep away from stress right now. That's why I apologised, I had to let it go. I messaged her saying sorry that we've been a bit full on and she replied saying how quite a few people have been saying how we need to calm down. Now I just feel like I can't be myself at work anymore, they all used to say how quiet I was but now I'm happy and comfortable, well this has made me feel like I can the happy at work. I can't be me anymore. 

I'm so full on at work because I can't be the happy person I am at home, my family is so broken and we just can't fix ourselves back together anymore. Going to work and doing my job while having a laugh was what I've been loving. I'm sick of being the person who apologises for being me. I'm tired of pretending that I'm okay when I'm falling apart inside. Like when she said quite a few people said it, it's made me not trust any of them now. Like I love them but when I've asked if we're to much they've all said no, even though they know we'd rather them tell us to our face. I just don't feel like I belong there anymore. I've applied for another job and at this rate I'm hoping I get it. I thought I was happy there but now I just feel really uncomfortable around them.

I don't know anymore, I'm feeling a little lost in life and work just really isn't helping anymore. I'm just having a hard time with the realisation that this is it for me now. Like right not I feel like I'm going to be working part time for the the rest of my life, no friends, no love life and no prospect. I just need some space right now. 

Lots of love,
Chloe xxx

Monday, 18 April 2016

What happened last week | 11th April-17th April

Hello lovelies,
Last week was a mix of good and bad. It ended the best way possible but right now I'm just feeling a little empty. If I'm honest I'm hurting to much, I can hardly breath because I feel like at the moment I'm going to burst into tears. Today sort of means the end of something for me, like to others its nothing important but that means its hard for me to get excited for everyone else being happy around me. That sounds horrible but I just cant get excited for people that I care about. Not in a mean way, I'm so happy that everyone around me is all loved up, its just that after today I'm probably not going to see the man I love again, like I haven't see him in a while but the thought that I could was a comfort. Now well its just hurting me a little, but I'll be okay.

Monday |
Well I had the day off on Monday so it was nice to just take the day, reflect on the week before and get some writing done. After the weekend I just needed time away from work to try and calm myself down, I was still so angry with the women I work with for thinking it was acceptable to talk about me behind my back to my work friends. 

Tuesday |
On Tuesday I was working a late shift with the best two people in my department, our manager never normally lets us work a late together. I think she knows that we all just feed off each others energy so we spend most of our time giggling. I also had a chat with the guy I work with about the events of the week before, he always knows exactly what to say to put a more positive spin on things. I think that's what I needed.

Wednesday |
Another day off meant I had time to pop and see my aunt. I love going and seeing her, she's the only person who can calm me down when I'm stressed or upset. She let me go on a massive rant about work and my sister and provided me with tea and biscuits. What more could I want from one of my favourite people.

Thursday |
Another shift at work meant more time with my chummy. Its either the customers are getting ruder or I'm just going more easily wound up. I was stressed and I forgot to wear my jacket, It slipped my mind but I forgot. Our work mumma noticed my arms and asked "Have you been hurting yourself?". I didn't have the heart to tell her that I'd slipped back into something that I managed to stop. I don't really know how to stop now thought. That's whats scaring me, I cant. After that I realised that maybe its time I went and got some help. So I think I might be making myself a little appointment soon to try and speak to someone. 

Friday |
My final day off for the week meant me and my chummy could go and have a nice London day before seeing muse in the evening. We headed into London, went to the crumbs and doilies bakery. Got some amazing cakes which we then devoured over the weekend. It was pouring rain so we got soaked, that didn't stop us from visiting the Disney store and having photos with the Cinderella carriage. We then went for a lovely meal at the harvester and went in to see muse. I was going to review it but even thought muse are amazing live, well it wasn't the best just purely because I didn't know any of their new music. If your a muse fan then I would highly recommend seeing them live, they are amazing live and it was a good night.

Saturday |
Another shift with the women that has an issue with me and my chummy. She moaned because I hadn't taken a meal out, but I had loads to take out and I was trying to do them in order. It didn't help that I was doing the work of three people because the others we having a chat. She then started bitching about me and chummy again when I went for my break. I'm speaking to my manager about how she's been this week, its just spite and that's what bothers me. Anyway after work me and Shannon (Chummy) went shopping, had high school musical and Disney careoke then finished the night by seeing jungle book. I will be reviewing that at some point.

Sunday |
Sunday was my favourite part of the week. Basically after a pretty bad week at work, Sunday seemed a little better. I just tried to focus on my job instead of the woman who has an issue with me. On Saturday mine and chummy's friend was going to meet us to have a good car chat but he said he wanted more than just ten minutes with us, he then suggested we all went for a drive to watch the sunset. That was my main focus of the day, after work I quickly got changed and waited for L to pick me and chummy up. We drove and just parked and sat in his car for about 2 hours just chatting and ranting about all our problems. Its moments like that, that made me realised that all I need right now is good friends. I got to spend a few hours with my two favourite people, these are people who I've know for less than a year. Well I've know chummy for a year now but I've only know L for about 4 months. That was just what I needed to get over a bad week. 

So that's what happened last week, I woke up reasonable happy but when I realised what today meant. Well I'm not not sure how to cope with this, to others its pathetic but I'm hurting and I know what I'll end up doing. I'm just hoping that this week will be better than today. 

Friday, 15 April 2016

Lush bunch of carrots | Review

Hello lovelies,
Today I'm off on a little adventure with my best friend which may include a trip to look out for a little haul at some point. Anyway I'm reviewing one of the Easter range, I'm pretty sure I reviewed this last year but lush have changed the product slightly. I hope this isn't to bad but I wanted to give you an updated review of the bunch of carrots bubble bar.

Here's what it says on the website about it "Dig up the dirt on refreshing tropical bathing with this adorable trio of carrots. Hold one of these reusable carrots under running water to send bubbly clouds of buchu, lemon and grapefruit oils scurrying across your bath, and then pop it on the side for next time. The distinctive, bright colours of this heritage bunch make it an attractive addition to Easter baskets and Easter bathtimes alike".

Ingredients |
Sodium Carbonate, Cream of Tartar, Sodium Laureth Sulfate, Glycerine, Lauryl Betaine, Perfume, Buchu Oil, Sicilian Lemon Oil, Bergamot Oil, Titanium Dioxide, Lilial, *Limonene, Colour 15985, Colour 19140, Colour 19140:1, Colour 45410, Colour 14700, Colour 17200, Colour 17200, Colour 42090.

Now last year these bubble bars were all orange, whereas this year there's one orange, one purple and one pink carrot. I preferred it when they were all orange last year though, I'm not sure why but it was much easier to swirl the bunch around the bath, now I find that because I don't want a weird colour in my bath, I have to break a carrot off and use it like that. The smell of the bubble bar is almost that same as last year. To me it smells a little like liquorice, I'm not sure why but that's the scent I get from it. It's is a lighter scent than last year though, unfortunately I preferred the one last year to this one.

The price, well I think £6.95 was pretty expensive for this bubble bar. Yes you get three but they are still quite small. I don't normally mind spending a bit more on the bubble bars but even the comforter isn't that expensive and I think the comforter bubble bar is a much better product. 

I'm not sure what went wrong but this one didn't really make many bubbles, most bubble bars make a mountain of bubbles for me to sink into. This one just made a few bubble on the top of the water, not even enough to make a bubble beard. Please don't pretend like you haven't made a bubble beard before, let's just accept it and move on. I mean it might make a lot more but it just seemed like I didn't really want to make a nice bubbly heaven for me this time.

This one didn't really do my skin many favours, for some reason this one made my legs itch really badly. Last year this didn't happen but that might just be that I have quite sensitive skin right now, not sure why but this means that some of the ingredients in the baht products are just not working for me right now. 

Anyway that's about it for me today. This week my blogs been a bit hit and miss, however I have the weekend to try and fit in some writing. Well mainly Sunday evening, I'm going shopping tomorrow after work but I'll try and get some writing done on the way there but Careoke may distract me.

Lots of love, 
Chloe xxx

Thursday, 14 April 2016

Can girls have male friends?

Hello Lovelies,
Today I wanted to chat to you all about girls having guy friends. Now I think some people say that it's impossible for girls to have guy friends because one of them might develop feelings for the other. I know what your all thinking "well you were friends with a guy and developed feelings for him" and yes your all right.

However when I was at school I had guy friends who I had no romantic feelings for, like I preferred my guy friends because unlike girls they don't bitch about you behind your back. I have two guy fiends now, granted I have fancied both of them but I don't any more. Like one of the guys I never liked then I did but the other guy, well I already liked him before even meeting him. Yes I based it on looks and from that I developed a little thing for him. Now, well I don't like either of them in that way and it's so nice to just be myself around them.

I think it's perfectly fine for girls to have guy friends, partly because I think it's nice to have a guys perspective on things. For example the guy I work with, I like to think we are on a good friendly level now and most of my guy stuff I've gone to him for advice. I listen to advice from the girls but for me, well I like to see what a guy thinks so then I can make a decision knowing all the facts. 

Does it get weird though when one do you gets into a relationship? Obviously I wouldn't know the answer to this but I can see how a guy might find it weird if you've got male friends but that's their issue, if they love you then they should just be accepting that you spent time with guys that aren't your boyfriend, also I think if they have an issue with it then they're aren't very trusting. Like if they're going to be constantly paranoid that there's something going on, well you need to get rid of that person. For some reason everyone sees it as wired for girls to have male friends, I don't see why though. At school I preferred my guy friends, I just think its simpler in a way.

Even though I never had a thing for my old guy friends, now I feel like my mind has to like any guy I become friends with. I just can't help it, partly because I go for personality and my male friends have amazing personalities, however after I spend a good few weeks liking them I get to a point when I'm like oh no your good for a friend. Basically I have to get comfortable around anyone new, it took me months to get comfortable with the the guy I work with but my latest guy friend, I felt comfortable with him instantly. I think that was down to the fact that my friend had told me loads about him, also he's very down to earth and quite blunt. That sounds horrible but its the quality I like most about him, I like to know where I stand with people so this is the perfect quality in a friend for me.

The one thing I find annoying is that if your a girl with male friends, people start to assume your in a secret little relationship with them. Like at work I have a nice little friendship with one of the guys, like this is the guy I used to like but now I honestly don't. Like I'm myself around him but that means I have no boundaries of conversations, we both don't. Like a few people have said to me oh you and him, Like no, just no. At work on Sunday we were both cooking and I asked where he'd gone, purely because he was wrong about something and I had proof, like I wanted to prove him wrong. When I asked where he was the ladies said "We don't know, we're not joint at the hip to him like you" and then they started giggling. If I find people I get on with I just like to keep them close, especially when my chummy goes for her break, I latch onto another friend. For me I think people will always wonder though, I don't normally chat to guys so for some I think its weird if I start a good friendship with the opposite sex.

What are your opinions on this? Can girls and guys just be friends or do you think no because it could develop into something more? Let me know in the comments.

Wednesday, 13 April 2016

Baking People Happy |

Hello lovelies,
Baking people happy is something that I love doing. I come from a family that loves a nice cake or two, that's not me being mean because we honestly do. I've always enjoyed baking because I love that I can take very simple ingredients and turn them into a delicious treat for myself or others.

I wanted to share with you some of my recipes that new never fail to make people happy. These are recipes that I've tried and tested and the girls and guys at work and my family. Now I haven't been able to bake in almost a month and that makes me extremely sad. I normally bake on Saturday and pop them away fro the next day, that's when I'll pack my cupcakes in there box and take them into work. After a long week we all like to just have a nice fun day on a Sunday, it makes them happy when I bring my cakes in and it makes me happy that they like them. Its a win win situation.

Carrot and orange cupcakes |

These cupcakes are very well received at work and at home. I baked these and used my two work chums as my test subjects. Now the guy I work with loves carrot cake so I thought he would be perfect to test these on, luckily for me he loved them. Now when my kitchen is done these will be first on the list for me to bake, take into work and hopefully the ladies will be very happy with them.

Lemon meringue cupcakes |

These cupcakes are always the most popular. These lemon meringue cupcakes are sure to please any lemon lover, its a lemon sponge injected with lemon curd, topped with an Italian meringue swirl on top. My mum loves these and always hopes there are some spare when I bake them for work.

Malteser cupcakes |

These malty cupcakes are divine and are my favourite out of all the cupcakes that I bake. They are so simple to bake and don't need to many ingredients. If you know a someones who loves maltesers then these will be the perfect bake to make them happy.

Rocky road bars |

Last but certainly not least are my rocky road bars. This is the bake that I keep on getting asked to bring in. For some reason they love my rocky road and because it doesn't need an oven, I think I might make some for them this Sunday. Well that's if I have time to actually make them around work and having a social life.

All these bakes seem to make the people I know happy, that's why I love baking for them. Its a little pick me up that I feel some of them need after a long week. Cake wont solve anything but its a sweet treat to indulge in. 

Monday, 11 April 2016

What happened last week |

Hello lovelies, 
Last week was a bit of a weird one for me. You know the most of what happened last week but let me just fill in the blanks for you.

So most of the week I was working so all that things that happened, happened around work. On Wednesday I went shopping with chummy. Her and her boyfriend had a little plan to get me and his friend to meet, I knew about this because of course I was in on the plan, any way I met a lovely man who apparently liked me. We went bowling and then for dinner as a four......added him on Facebook. He added me back, I then messaged him just to say it was nice to meet him and then............! Nothing. He read it but didn't reply. I was annoyed because I think it's rude to read the message and not reply. 

I spent Thursday being really sad and Friday as well. I think because I didn't have my hopes up for it, it just annoyed me that apparently he liked me and that gave me a little more confidence. It just felt like that had been crushed and I was left in a really bad state mentally. I feel like I need to tell you because I think bottling it up won't help, basically on Friday night I just wept and wept. I was hurting, not just because of that but everything with my sister has been stressing me out and upsetting me. Well I was at the point when I had that lump in my throat, the one that makes me feel like I can breathe. 

I did something that I've managed to stop myself doing for months. I don't know why I did it, but for those few seconds......well I was hurting in a different way and it as bad as it sounds. I'm feeling better mentally. But this has made me realise that maybe I need to go and see someone, I can't get to that state again where that seems like the only option so I think in a few weeks I'll be making some calls. 

Work on Friday was very good. Me and my chumster (The guy I work with pointed out that he felt second best to chummy, he was joking but now he's my chumster at work) started work at the same time. I told him all my problems and like the good guy he is, he listened and then put positive spins on everything which basically meant him say well "f*ck him, you don't need him then". We also spent a good hour and a half giggling much to my managers amusement. 

This week it's been a bit awkward though, now if I get on well with people I will chat to them about everything. Like I have a dirty mind and if I'm comfortable with you, that means sex talks and funny chats like that. However me and chumster have been having more chats like this and people think we're in some weird relationship. No, that's not true. Like chummy knows me well enough to know that I'm like that when I get on with people, however I want to have some fun with them at work so I'm just going to let them think what they want.

On Saturday I had a 9am start and a 6pm finish. I don't mind, like I had my chummy until 5, work mumma until 4 and chumster until 6. I was having a great day, me and chummy spent the day giggling. Now my manager does get annoyed sometimes but she was fine, we were working and just having fund. My manager knows that when were split up we go quiet and just sort of crave the other. Everyone loves our little friendship. We went for our break together because there were enough staff to cover us, work mumma said we could go but for some reason the women we work with had an issue. She's nice enough but she likes to think she's a manager when she's the same level as us, she had a little bitch about us when we left. 

Of course work mumma told us, that meant me and chummy were fuming with her. She said they we went knowing she said no, that wasn't true. She said we'd been annoying her all day because we had been laughing and she said that we should be split up from each other and basically moaned because we were to happy.

I'm sorry but after a pretty sh*t week my manager was happy that I was back to my normal self and she knows Shannon brings that out of me, if my manager had said to just calm down then we would have done. The issue is me and chummy feed of each others excitement, but who yeah hell is that woman to tell us we were to happy and that we should be split up. If my manager has an issue then she'll split us up, she's just annoyed because she has no authority over us. Anyway that night I anger ate a bowl of crunchy nut clusters and then went to chummy's to drink and bitch. My god did I bitch, I saw chummy's mum and dad then it was straight upstairs to have a massive bitch session. I was fuming with her and I needed to bitch with my chummy. Like she left at 5 and I was stuck with her until 6 so I had an hour of her bitchy comments. 

Sunday was okay. Like work was good purely because Sunday's are fun days for us. We normally have a very good bunch in on Sunday so it's quite relaxed and everyone just has a good laugh. 

Oh the highlight of the week was on Tuesday it was made clear that me and chummy are indeed best friends. I never like to assume but apparently that's true, so even though the rest of the week was quite bad.....well my chummy made it a millions times better. Like it's nice that I get to work with my best friend most days, even though it's not our dream jobs I think having people you love working with you really makes it better. Like I love my work chums, like they honestly make the job much better.

Ohhhh last highlight of the week was that L put the Elle King CD onto a disk for chummy and then I got to borrow it. I now have the whole Elle King album on my phone and I'm loving it.

Thursday, 7 April 2016

2 years of Professional daydreamer |

Hello lovelies,
Today I had a massive post in mind. I had it all planned out and I was excited about it. Now, well I just wanted to chat to you all. 

This Saturday will mean I've had my little blog for 2 years. That seems crazy and I'm so proud of how far I've come over the last two years. My blog isn't successful but I feel like my life is finally starting to look better. Over the last two years behind the scenes of my blog I've handled heart break, self harm, new jobs, making new friends and my family slowly falling apart. 

The last two years have thrown a lot at me but I'm finally in such an good place in my life. I'm over the heartbreak and seeing it for what it was, it was a drop in the ocean compared to now. I don't regret it though, because of having that little heartbreak, it's prepared me for now. Because I'm over him I've now found that I'm more willing to go out and meet new people. I've had a few crushes over the last few months but they're nothing, in my head and my heart they were tiny things that I got carried away with. 

In the last two years my blog has been the only thing that kept me sane in this crazy little world I live in. It's silly how some code on a webpage can mean so much. That's all it is, it just code and some writing but this has been like a little place that I've gone to escape. You have all been the most supportive reader's I could have hoped for. I feel connected to you all even though I've never met you. Just by reading my blog you automatically make me so happy. I know there are plenty more blogs out there that are much bigger and my better but it's so lovely that a nice bunch of you keep coming back for my week daily ramblings.

Family. Well over the last two years I've watched my little munchkins, also known as my cousins, grow up so much. I'm so proud of them, they fill my heart with so much love and I would do anything to make them happy. My sister, well we all know the situation. I'm done now and I think I needed to just cut her out. I understand that to an outsider looking in, that seems cruel but the issue is, you will never live my life and no one will ever know just how bad she is. This isn't a case of sibling arguments like it used to be, I'm scared of her now. Wow I've never told anyone that apart from my aunt. I now live in a house where it feels like we are all constantly walking on eggshells around her. Her aggression is getting worse and I'm so scared that soon she's going to hit one of us. It's like I live my own little hell in my own home, but that's okay. I have the best escape but a little more on that next.

Friends. This time last year I lived a pretty lonely existence. Now I'm going out a lot and making amazing memories with my best friend, or more commonly known know at work as my chummy. It's been so nice to have someone else in my life who is so important to me. She's made me feel so much happier with just being me and now I honestly couldn't imagine my life without her. This time last year I didn't know her, that seems like a lifetime ago now. I also have friend 1 which he's now been upgraded to. Since chummy is now best friend, there was a space at friend 1. He's honestly so lovely and he's been so understanding when I've said certain things. I also have the most caring bunch at work. In our department we do rely on everyone working together and I get on with the majority. I've found a nice little friend in the guy I work with, he's been the one I got to with guy trouble when I need a male perspective and he's one of the people I can have a good laugh with. I've gained a work mummy which is nice, she protects us a lot and that's why we all love her. 

What I want to do with my blog over the next year is grow it. I want to share my content with as many new people as possible, I feel like I want this to go somewhere because this is the one thing in my life that I am truly passionate about. I know it won't every be a success but I want to put more effort into it and really make it somewhere that I'm proud of. I would love to tell more people about it, I want to tell friend 1 about it purely because I don't like keeping secrets. Chummy already a knows because she found it, since she found it I think of friendship has got a lot stronger and we understand each other a lot better. I would love to connect with other bloggers, maybe have some bloggers do guest posts and then I hope to be able to grow my blog a little more.

I wanted to get into making YouTube videos this year, as my confidence grows I think I might start making videos. I have a video ready to be uploaded but I'm just nervous to out my face out there online. Almost my voice is horrible so that's one of my little worries. 

Over the last year I've put everything I have into my blog, it might not be the best and I know it has a tiny following but that's enough for me right now. I'm so happy and content with my life at the minute that the fact that I get to spend my time with my lovely family, my chummy and my lovely work friends fills me with so much happiness. I share my blog with my best friend and I love that, she gets to see the whole version of me because of the blog. I'm optimistic for what the next year will bring in my personal life and my online life. 

Wednesday, 6 April 2016

Baking book collection |

Hello lovelies,
I'm really sorry but the kitchen is still not done. That means I still cant bake, its killing me because I normally bake every single week without fail. Anyway I thought I would take this time to show your a little collection of my baking books. These are just a few that I have, the rest are packed away in boxes in my make shift kitchen. If you want to get any of these books, click the image and it will take you to amazon where you can get them.

Bake off everyday |
Now because I love baking, I clearly love the great British bake off. I've watched it since it started and I'm slightly obsessed with it. This book is full of amazing recipes and I love the its not just cake. Its got recipes for breads as well, breaks is something that I love to bake and I like to experiment with different flavours to put a spin on the classic.

The cake book |
I've mentioned this book before and its my favourite to get recipes for cupcakes. I watch Jemma on youtube and her bakes are stunning and taste amazing, I got to go to her bakery in Soho last year and the cupcakes were divine. There's also the recipe for the cake I had from there. It was the best chocolate cake I've had, and that saying something as I've had a lot of cake. 

Bake it better | Classic cakes
I had my eye on this set of books for a while but waited until I found the best deal on them. These books are really cute and are part of a set from the great British bake off. This is the 1st in the collection and it has some of my favourite recipes in it. 

Bake it better | Biscuits
Another one from the bake off collection. I love that each book is specific to one bake, so this book is my go to when I want a really good biscuit recipe. I always want to attempt the biscuit's that I see on the bake off, with the help of this I can do that. In this one there is a recipe for jaffa cakes. In the UK these are in the biscuit aisle, I mean its got cake in the title but apparently its classed as a biscuit. Anyway I want to bake these as the two lovely ladies I work with love them, I thought I would attempt to bake these as a nice little treat for them.

Bake it better | Pies and tarts.
Again this is another one of the series. This book has some amazing recipes in it and I cant wait to try some of them out. I would love to be able to make some of the pies and tarts that are in this book. I've got my eye on a few to try, hopefully I can make them almost as good.

Bake it better | Bread
The last book of the series that I have and this one is probably my favourite. Even though I love baking cakes, there's something really satisfying about baking bread. I think because I like the science behind the rising process. Sounds weird but that just really interests me. There are so many recipes in here that I am desperate to try. I have so many ideas for flavouring's to my breads but I just need to experiment a bit, just to find out what works best.

Well I hope you liked that little look at my baking books. I know this isn't the most exciting post. If I'm honest I'm not really with it today, I'm in quite a stressy mood. I wont go into why but I'm sure I'll get around to it at some point. 

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Tuesday, 5 April 2016

Tsum Tsum collection | So far

Hello lovelies,
Disney is a very big part of my life. I'm sure we are all aware of that by now. When the tsum tsums were related in the UK, well I wasn't to bothered about them. Fast forward a year and one trip the the Disney store with Shannon later......Well I'm now obsessed.

So Ive seen a few posts like this and if you're a Disney fan this this may interest you, if you're a fan of my blog then this may also interest you. If not I'm very sorry for this little post. Anyway above is my current collection and of course I'm not going to take you through who each one is......yes who. I know they're not real but just humour me for a little while.

The first tsum tsum that created my collection was Eeyore. I have days when I feel like Eeyore so I needed to have him, I couldn't resist him and the fur on top of his head is just so cute. Ideally I need to  get all the residents of the hundred acre wood, for now though Eeyore is the one I have.

Next was this gorgeous little beauty. Rapunzel. I was drawn to here like a moth to a flame and I absolutely adore her. I love how they even added the little flowers into her hair, I had a nightmare finding pascal but more on him later.

The day after me getting my first two tsum tsum I went to get more. I went to Clinton's to get these ones as Disney store didn't have them. So I got Ariel because I'm determined to collect all the princesses, the ones I grew up watching so Ariel, Cinderella, snow, aurora, belle and jasmine. I love Ariel because they even added her tail which pleases me a lot.

Next one I got was the fairy godmother. I saw her and before i knew it she was in my basket. I have always loved the fairy god mother and I'm so happy that she's been welcomes into the family. 

I struggled to find Cinderella for a good ten minutes, luckily for me she was hidden under all the abandoned tsum tsums that live on top of the display. She was hiding underneath a few that I didn't want. I love this one so much, they even added her bun. Like they could have just done some yellow for the hair, but they actually added a little bun which makes her even more perfect.

Much like everyone else, I'm also a very big frozen fan. I managed to get my hands on Anna and I was so happy. However I didn't manage to get Elsa which was a little sad. I love the detail on her dress and I'm very glad I have her in my collection. I do want to complete the frozen collection so that means I need to go hunting for the others.

As much as I can be an Eeyore I can also spend days walking around like sadness. I managed to find her online and as soon as I saw it I need to buy it.  I love how they actually added a jumper look and the glasses are just so damn cute.

I got Elsa!!! Again I had to go hunting for her online. The minute I saw her she was mine. I adore this one, my little cousin has her already and I wont lie, I was slightly jealous. Everything about her makes me very happy, the dress, the hair. God I'm so happy I got her.

Another one from Clinton's was snow white. Out of all the princesses I'm not the biggest fan just because I think she was silly to roam the woods, then go and live with 7 strangers. Anyway I still love her because its the bow. Like that bow makes her perfect in my eyes.

Last one I got from Clinton's was Tinkerbell. I like her but I think her face just looks to weird. Like its not as cute as tink and it annoys me little. However I couldn't not have her in the collection, she's a fairy and I'm all for the Disney fairies.

Last but certainly not least. Pascal. The one me and my chummy have been after for ages. They had sold out everywhere but luckily for us my aunt and uncle got them when they went to Disneyland Paris. Of course they got chummy one as well, they know how annoyed we were hat we couldn't find him. He now sits next to Rapunzel just waiting for more to be added to the collection. 

The one that I want most is jasmine and Aladdin. I cant find them anywhere and I just need them now. Jasmine is my favourite princess and it seems wrong that she's not part of my little tsum tsum family. So if you know where I can find her, please send me the link.

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