Tuesday, 16 February 2016

Im really worried |

Hello lovelies,
Today's post is a bit of an odd one. So many of you know that me and Lou (My blogging best friend) have been planning to meet. On Sunday we had a little chat on the phone which was lovely, I mean I was very awkward like I normally am but it was nice.

Here's the annoying thing. I'm excited to meet her but on the same hand I am so worried. I'm nervous because meeting new people is very hard for me. I stress about it so much to the point where I can't sleep because for me its fear. Fear of meeting people. I had exactly the same when I met my friends friend, I'm not going to lie I didn't want to. It scared me. The thought of meeting someone unknown in person to me made me feel panicked. It was less stressful because my friend was there and at the points if it got awkward she was there to jump in with an ice breaker.

There are so many reasons I'm scare. Even though I know Lou online I'm terrified to meet her just because its something I go through with everyone I meet. I'm also really worried because I have to make an excuse to my parents as to why I'm going to London on my own. They already think its weird and have said they'll come. If they go then my blogging game is up. My sister is another reason. She thinks I'm seeing someone, I'm clearly not but that's not helped by the fact that her friend told her that I met my friends guy friend. She now thinks that I'm seeing him in secret, that couldn't be further from the truth and because she knows I'm planning a London trip, well I overheard her tell my mum she's going to follow me to see if it's true.

I haven't been able to sleep for the last week because I've been stressing so much about it, I know Lou is lovely and a wonderful person but this little worry that's always been there is creeping up on me and it feels like it suffocating me. The thought that if someone sees me my blog could be exposed, the  thought that my sister will probably follow me to see what I'm doing is also really stressing me out. I don't know what to do because even though I want to meet her its making me stress and really panic.

I honestly don't really know what to do now. I came to my blog with this because this is something that's been stressing me out. I don't want to be the person who just cancels but this is stressing me out more than I thought because I know that I'll be followed there and then I'll have to explain, that means my world crumbling away as as I have to tell then about my blog.

Well that's whats been stressing me out. Maybe now that I've told you all that, I might actually be able to sleep. I don't think I will though because with me I stress about things far to much and I can't stop it.

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