Sunday, 17 January 2016

Wanting my own space |

Hello lovelies,
I just want to first point out that this post isn't a moving out post, I wish it was but for now this is just why I want my own space and my plans for when I actually have the money to move out. Don't get me wrong, I love living at home. I get everything done for me, I dont have to pay rent at this point and I'm with my family. I've got to a point where I just want my own space. Sometimes I just feel smothered in my house. I know its because they care about me but it like everything I do is being watched and judged. 

Also since I told my parents that I wanted to do more on my own, well they've sort of got the ump with me about that. It's like they dont understand that I'm an adult and sometimes I want to do stuff by myself. My sister goes out whenever she wants, she does whatever she wants and they don't have an issue with that. With me its like I'm committing a crime for wanting to be independent. I guess it's just time for me to try and tackle the whole adult thing and I want to be able to have my own little place where no one can set the rules, no one can judge what I do and I can feel like I'm not being watched 24/7. My mum thinks I'm in a weird mood and she doesn't know why. Of course I'm in a weird mood. My parents have got annoyed because I want to do things on my own, I just feel trapped and now I'm doing what they want just like normal so they won't get annoyed. 

I've already worked it all out. Because I dont have a car or anything to pay for, if I did full time at work then even after taxes, I could still afford to move out. I've found so many little places that are near my job and near everything I need. I know my department doesnt have the hours yet but I'm going to speak to my manager to let her know that I do want to do full time. If I had stayed at my last job then I would have moved out already. I could have afforded it and in the place I was looking, it meant I would have transport into work. I think some people don't think I can handle full time, I can because I've done it before. I just hope that within the next few months more hours become available in my department. Something someone told me a few weeks ago might mean theres going to be some spare hours floating around. As much as I dont want them to move departments because they are pretty fun to work with, if they do then it might mean some extra hours for me. But before someone asks, my lips are sealed on that one....well if you ask me I'll clearly tell you what I know.

So if I got my own place then I would already have the basis. I already have a bed, wardrobe, desk, TV and bits like that but heres how I would furnish it. Im looking at the cheapest items that are still nice. In the dream home I would go more extravagant but for my first flat then this will do.

The sofa's I have found are from argos, I would get two if I had the space. I think two sofas make a house look really homey for some reason. Id decorate it with lots of cute scatter cushions in nice pastel tones.

I think I would want a little rug in the living room just to keep my toes warm in the winter. This rug is really cute and not that expensive. I love duck egg blue and this rug just looks so warm.

I also love this floor lamp. I've had my eye on this for a few years now and I think it would look so cute in my own little lounge. This is also from argos and I just love the little heart on it.

I would of course have to get bits for a kitchen. I most places come with fridges and freezers, ovens and bit like that but I would need to get pots and pans. A kettle because I am addicted tea. I would also get a little toaster because I am partial to a slice or two. I would need to get plates and bits like that. I already have a pretty extensive mug collection, so I'm good for those.

I guess I never thought I would want to leave home but now its all I want. I love my family to pieces but I need to be my own person and stop living as the girl they want me to be. Im not afraid of being who I am but sometimes I feel like I'm being constantly judged. Anyway I'll speak to my manager and see what she says but if not then maybe I'll have to move departments. I dont want to because I love mine, I have such a laugh in there but I'm just hoping that she says if the hours are there I can do it at some point.

Anyway thats why I want to have my own space and a little look at what I'd put into my own little flat. I know that I'm lucky to have somewhere to live and there are people out there with nothing. This is just how I feel and why I need my own space. Im sure at some point everything will be fine again but right now its either do what mum and dad say with a fake smile on or do what I want and them get annoyed with me if i want to do my own thing. Mums even annoyed that I'm trying to cut out unhealthy snacks so I asked her to buy me some just so I can pretend to eat them. Im trying to make changes but eating less crap and exercising more but it's like she hates me for it. Anyway I'm off to do some exercise and plan dinner while finding a good snack hiding place.

Lots of love,
Chloe xxx

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