Saturday, 16 January 2016

Project me |

Hello lovelies,
For the past year and half I feel like I've neglected myself a bit. I spend most of my time trying to make other people happy and trying to be someone who people like. Over the last few months I've realised that I need to focus on me for a while. That's where project me comes into play. This week I've been miserable and that's down to one person. A person I wanted/want so badly. I've let him go now, I'm not over him of course I'm not. I never will be but I need to move forward instead of living in the past. 

Weight |

Its clear to me know that I just eat my feelings. I've never been a thin girl and I've always been chubby but I've got to a point now where I'm just not happy with myself. 

Its weird for me because I don't mind being overweight but I'm worried people judge me for it, which then knocks my confidence. I've been eating my feelings for to long now, its time to put down the cakes and start a healthy version of myself. While I was holiday I realised that I just eat even if I'm not hungry. It just fills the time. This week I ate hardly anything, I just wasn't hungry and I had distractions all around me. 

I don't really know whats sparked this little change but I feel better for it already. I'm starting to eat healthy which is something I haven't done in a while. Yes I still like my snacks but I just don't feel like eating them. I still have my meals but if I'm not hungry then I don't force myself to eat it. I'm looking to join the gym as well. The gym seems like such a scary place to me, partly because I'm worried people will judge what I look like. To be honest I shouldn't be worried, I'll be at the gym to get fit so I don't think anyone would judge.

I'm going to see Adele in two months with my friend Shannon (Click on her name to take you to her fabulous blog) and her friend (A guy). I'm excited but I'm nervous to go looking how I do. That sounds really bad but I want to go feeling confident and I don't feel that confident around guys, at work I'm fine around the guys I work with because they know what to expect from me. I want get a bit slimmer just so I'll feel confident. I don't think he would judge me on what I look like but its just my own issue that I have, I just want to feel better in myself before meeting a new person.

Hair |

A very silly aspect of my life but as much as I love my long hair, it just gets in the way and it spends half its life in a hair net. I want to get the Adele cut just slightly longer. It will take me out of my comfort zone and I'm excited. I want to do more things that push me this year and getting my hair cut is one of them. That sound so crazy but I always get the same and I've become so predicable.

Tattoo |

I've been looking to get a tattoo for a few years now. Now that I'm 18 I really want to get one. I know exactly what I want and where I want it. I want to get a little arrow on my foot. I saw a quote which relates to me perfectly and I can't wait to get it done. My friend said she would come with me to get it done, I sort of hope that offer still stands because I know that I'll probably be in a lot of pain and I'll need someone to take my mind off it.

Doing things on my own |

I don't like doing things by myself. I don't even like going to the shop on my own because I like to company and I like the reassurance that someone else is there in case something bad happens. Over the week I've realised that I'm okay on my own. I'm happy to do things by myself, last week I was in a completely new place and went out for several forest walks on my own. It was so nice to be by myself and have time to think. I love spending time with other people but sometimes I feel suffocated by everyone. I want to start doing more on my own, I'm planning little London days by myself and everything. I would love to be able move out. I love living it at home but I want my own space, I would love to be able to see my family but go home to my own place at the end of the day. 

Being happy |

I am quite a happy person but there are days when I just get really down. I can stay in my "Eeyore mode" for a good few weeks at a time. I want to allow myself to be sad but I also want to be able to be able to pick myself up when I'm down. Part of the reason that I've been so miserable lately is because of stuff that's been going on in my life lately. This year I'm determined to put all that behind me and focus on making myself the happiest I can be.

Meeting new people |

Last year I was lucky enough to meet some amazing people. I met them through work and I'm so happy to have them in my life. Like I know I only see them all at work but they make my job so much better and online but she will become someone I know in real life. That's so exciting for me because Lou has been one of the most important people in my life for nearly two years.
the people that work with me know how to put a smile on my face. I want to meet new people this year, I'm actually meeting Lou this year. She's not new new because I know her

Driving |
I've been putting off my driving lesson because I hate them. I like driving but I don't like the idea of learning, I know that sounds silly but I don't like being around people I don't know. Ive switched back to automatic, I'm happy driving but the gears just really stress me out. If I can pass then I can still drive a car, only automatic and I'm fine with that. 

Well that's what project me is all about. I'm looking forward to making changes and just making myself better. 

Lots of love,
Chloe xxx

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