Friday, 1 January 2016

New year | Brand new me

Hello lovelies,
So its January 1st 2016, I think that's going to take some time to get used to. I'm writing this post to say that I want to start a fresh. In December I made a very big decision which was hard but it needed to be done, I'm ready to start a fresh this year without the heartache of the previous years. I want to put everything I have into this blog because over the last few months, its suffered because I have been in a bit of a crap state mentally. I didn't have the drive to write and I'm sick of letting you all down.

So whats going to be different this year?
Well this year instead of spending half my time in tears, I'm determined that the only time ill cry this year is with happiness or when I'm laughing. I will cry at Adele but I think that's understandable. I want to focus on me and making myself happy. I want to learn what its like to live on my own in my mind. Sounds a little crazy I know, from my post a few days ago then you might understand my, basically a part of my head and my heart have been reserved for someone who I had planned a life with....Not that I was with them but I was just so in love that I couldn't let go. NO MORE! Like it says in the film man up "F*ck the past". I want to fill that space with things that make me genuinely happy and that might mean just extending other part of my heart and hear to fill it, a.k.a my blog.

I want to be more outgoing. I want to talk to more people and show the real me, I'm a shy person with people I don't know but I'm going to see Adele with the girl I work with and her friend. She knows what I'm like therefore he friend has been warned and shown our messages, I'm determined to me myself around him because if not ill ruin my night at Adele. If I see a guy at work that I fancy I want to have the guts to tell him without fear of rejection, if it goes somewhere then great but if it doesn't I need to not care.

Weight? Over the last year I've learn to love my body, yes its lumpy and bumpy but there's more to me than what I look like. I do want to loose a little weight, maybe 2 stone just because i want to be a bit fitter because I want to go to Disneyland and I worry about fitting in the rides. I don't want to go mad with dieting, one because I never make it past a day on my diet and two, well I don't want to bother. Put it this way, if you like the gym and getting fit and healthy then good for you but I deleted my own sister on Facebook because of the posts about gains, the gym and pictures of protein powder and vegetables.....No! I don't have time for that. Id much rather see Disney related pictures or pictures of good looking men pop up on my timeline.

I need to focus on me. The last year and a bit has basically been me putting everyone else happiness before my own. I spent most of my time wondering if I'm making other people happy that I just forgot about me. I spent far to long hung op on someone who just to be honest wasn't as important as I once thought. I'm ready to just focus on making me happy and I feel like even though its going to be hard, I'm going to spend the year fixing myself.

Well I hope you all have an amazing 2016 and if you want, you can share my year with me by keeping up to date with all my blog posts. I can't promise the most exciting content but I want to work on making my blog even more special to me. Happy new year!

Lots of love,
Chloe xxx

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