Tuesday, 9 June 2015

Growing up | Friends

Today's post is all about friends. Now When I started year 7 I didn't have many friends and to be honest I really wish it had stayed that way. I started to hang around with a nice group of girls but I think they were a bad influence on me. Now they didn't smoke or anything like that, they were just not good for me. 

Now I never used to swear in front in front of my parents, I still don't know but I found that the more time I spend with them at school, the more I found myself swearing to myself. Now I don't see anything wrong with swearing but I wouldn't use that type of language around my parents. I also started to notice that they could be very spiteful, two faced and quite horrible to some people. I hung around with these girls, I didn't join in what they were saying but to be honest they were a very mild form of bully's. I don't think they even realised. I didn't realise until I left school. I regret that I spent my time at school with people who took the mick out of others and to all the girls and boys that they were horrible to behind their backs, I'm so sorry that I sat there and did nothing. By letting them say it, I was basically allowing it and I will never be able to forgive myself for that. I know that this must go in a lot of teenage groups but I feel bad that when they were being horrible about people, I never said anything about it.

The nicest girls in my year were the quite ones, they kept there heads down and just got on with it. They didn't have a lot of friends, they had each other and they were always so kind to me. I know now that they are the people I should have spent my time at school with.

I also noticed that my friends bullied me, without me really realising and they didn't even know they were doing it. They would tease me about things that had happened, make things up about me and tell boys I fancied them when I didn't. I remember this one time when I was in science. We had a seating plan and I was next to this boy. Now the girls thought that I didn't like sitting next to boys because I fancied them. That couldn't be further from the truth. I didn't like sitting with the boys because I was so worried that they would pick on me and be horrible. Now this lesson had me sitting next to this boy, he was really nice but I just felt uncomfortable. I was also sitting with two of my "friends". Now they sat and wrote love notes to him pretending they were from me. He knew they were from them and he could see how annoyed I was getting. He turned to me and said 'Do they always bully you like this' and I simply replied 'I'm used to it'.

I wanted to write this post to warn you that even people seem lovely, the minute you feel uncomfortable in there company or with what they are doing, walk away. You don't need friends that are like that. You don't need to have hundreds of friends to know that you have people who genuinely care about you. Now I want you to go onto your facebook page. Look at the amount of friends, now tell me how many you speak to on a daily basis. Now tell me how many you feel comfortable to be around, now tell me if you can trust them with something you tell them privately and finally tell me if they would drop everything to make sure you were okay. Now or some lucky people that might be all your friends but for me, there are only 4 people who I know wouldn't betray my trust. Who would do anything to make sure I was okay.

As we grow up we realise that these friends were no more than acquaintances. Don't worry if your not the most popular at school, it doesn't matter if you have jut one friend. Just make sure that they are good for you. That you can actually trust them not to make you feel like crap every single day of your school life.

Bye for now xxx

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