Tuesday, 19 May 2015

Growing up | Leaving childhood behind


I have been planning this little series type thing for a while now. Growing up means a lot of changes to you mentally and physically and I want to chat about that with you all. Even though I have gone through all the physical changes of growing up, I still feel like I'm in the process of becoming an adult. I still feel like I need that guidance from my parents on what to do, is that strange?

In this little series I want to talk about everything, changes to your body, emotions, friendship's and everything else that goes with the whole growing up process. I personally don't want to be an adult and that's weird considering I am. I don't feel ready for that yet, I have such Sweet memories of being little and having that innocence of the world. Although I want to do my own thing and be independent, I just don't feel like I'm ready.

When were younger we have this idea that the world is full of excitement, that when we grow up we will live in this fairytale world with our own prince charming. Its not like that at all, that's why I miss being that innocent little girl that believed in the fairy tales. I've come to realise that while the world can be exciting and filled with fair tales, it doesn't just happen. Your going to struggle to find what your good at, you can struggle to find what you really love and want to do and your going to fall in love with people that aren't yours to love. I think this little series will be more for my own benefit to just talk about the growing up process and get a better view of it.

For me I feel like now I've grown up and have been given freedom to do my own thing and am in charge of my own life, I feel disconnected sometimes from my parents. I feel like the decision's I make are the wrong ones, the choices I made were not what they wanted and I just feel like I'm letting them down at every opportunity. I make these decisions because I feel like they are right for me but I don't know if I'm wrong, my my and dad have always made the big decisions because they knew what was best for me and my sister. I doubt my own ability because I don't think they would understand my choices.

To me, growing up isn't just physical changes. For me it involved my whole world getting a new view, it meant not playing with my toys anymore and things like that. In am dreamer, I always have and always will be. I don't think there's anything  wrong with indulging in that. I just feel like now I have this label of being an adult, I shouldn't indulge in those dreams. When I was younger I would sit and laugh for hours about something that wasn't even funny, I would play for hours with my Bratz dolls creating a world in my head for them all to live in. I would develop crushes on my boys in my class without know the true feeling of love and heartache. I miss all these little things from when I was little and I don't like the fact that I see the world as it is. You can see why our parents chose to tells us these fairy tales when we were younger, they can see the world for what it is and its not full of magic and excitement for most people. Childhood is the only time we truly believe anything is possible and then one day the magic starts to fade and that saddens me. I'm not saying that I want to think the world is full of rainbows and unicorns but there's a part of me that wants my innocence of the world back.

Everyones growing up around me but I still feel like that's not happened for me, I don't feel any different but I know every things changed. I'm at the age where I should have grown out of the fairy tales, given up on the dreams and faced reality but the truth is I still live in my own little daydream. I have dreams that sometimes can seem way beyond my capability but to me, I'm still the little girl who believes in the fairytale's. I want to be able to live my dream but I know that everyone else will see that as silly. Am I wrong for wanting to do something I love, I want to put my dreams into actions and I want to try and  make it happen. I don't want to work for forty years in a job I hate and always be wondering what if. Granted it could all go wrong and I can learn that my dreams just cant be reached but surely I should take that chance while I'm young, I don't want to be filled with regret.

Some of the topics I want to cover are:
Body changes.

If you have any other suggestions then I would love to hear them. Please let me know in the comments. 

Bye for now xxx

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