Thursday, 30 April 2015

Secondary school | Year 10

Year 10 |
When I went into year ten I felt a mixture of excitement and terror. I was looking forward to staring my GCSE's subjects but I was terrified about doing well. I knew how important my exams were and I wanted to do well. I was more split from my friends than I had been in previous years but in a way I liked that, it was nice to be with other kids. To be honest the girls I hung around with were nice but I think they just put up with me, I was normally the joke of the joke and they did sometimes makes me feel like I wasn't wanted there, I know they didn't mean it but for me it was nice to do different things.

The subjects I had to do are as follows, Maths, English, Biology, Chemistry, Physics, History, French, PE, ICT, Citizenship, RE, Textiles, Art. I hated a good majority of these subjects but I tried my best. I really loved History, I had the teacher I had in year 8 and I was with one of my friends I had know since playschool. There were a lot of people in there who I had never talked to before and it was nice to get to know some of them.

 French was terrible, I hated it and we always hate double French on a Monday morning without a break. I would always dread Mondays, as I would come out of the double lesson with a really bad headache. All I can say is Google translate helped me pass that exam, thank god for the internet. I thought art would be fun but it was just really boring, everything I did my teacher had some complaint about, she had her favourites in the class which I thought was a little unfair.

 Textiles was where I felt at home, I loved my teacher and I loved being able to be creative. I also started talking to this really lovely girl so I didn't feel on my own in there. About a term into year 10 my friend and I had an argument, she would never tell me what it was about. Apparently I had been saying stuff about her which wasn't true, she would never tell me who said this or anything. The only thing I thought it could have been is when I would be chatting with other people and just tell them things that had happened, like if they all made a joke about me I told my other friend and apparently that meant I was "Bitching" about her. She made me feel like crap, she isolated me from the group by making my friends turn on me. Her and her friend, who wasn't in our group would sit at lunch time and throw food at me. I didn't know what to do, I felt so alone so I just stayed out of their way.

 A few months later she did the exact same thing another girl in our group and then they all realised I had actually done nothing wrong. This then started what seemed like a mini war between two groups. I was entered in to do my English literature and language exam nearly two years early and still got a C in both, I re-sat them in year 11 to try and do better but it was one thing less to worry about. The thing that shocked us all was when we all got told that one of the best teachers, my old year leader in year 7 and 8, had passed away from cancer. We were all so shocked and it was so unexpected. I think this made me lose focus a little bit. Now even though I have lost people in my life, like my nan. I was to little to understand what had happened. When my teacher died it just hit me, I didn't know what to do with what I was feeling. He played a big part in helping me settle into school and always made sure I was okay.

Next week I will be chatting about my final year at school and my thoughts on it now.

Bye for now xxx

Tuesday, 28 April 2015

Perfectly imperfect |


Now today I want to chat about something which is quite close to my heart. Every person on this earth, no matter how big/small, tall/short or rich /poor has little thing's about themselves that they hate. They see them as imperfections and its only natural. I have a tonne of imperfection's but I've come to realise that all those imperfection's make me perfect just the way I am, like everyone else. 

We are all perfect just the way we are. We live in a society that is now obsessed with having perfect skin, the perfect hair, make up and figure but why on earth should men and women feel like they should conform to this. Having imperfection's is what makes up human. It makes us all unique and special, even in the tiniest way. People are trying to look exactly like their favourite celebrity's which is fine but we are creating a generation of Barbie dolls. Everyone looking a certain way because of what the media says is the perfect image.

I say we learn to love our imperfections. I'm going to list all of the things I see as imperfection's on me in a minute but I'm also going to explain how I've learnt to embrace them. It can be really hard to learn to love the little things you don't like about yourself, but when you finally do you're going to realise just how much happier you feel.

These are what I think of as my imperfections |
I'm overweight.
I have a bump on the bridge of my nose.
I have dark under eye circles.
My eyebrows are really bushy.
My upper arms have tiny little red spots all over them.
The ends of my fingers raise up a tiny bit.
I have tiny little scars where I scratched gnat bites when I was little.
I have a slightly damaged nail bed on my finger because I bite my nails when I'm stressed.
I cant take compliments because I think I'm ugly.

These are just some of the things I think of as imperfections but I'm learning to see all of these things as perfect. 

I'm overweight | So what? Its healthier than being malnourished.
Bump on the bridge of my nose | It adds character to my face.
Dark under eye circles | It means I should sleep a little longer and who doesn't love sleep.
My upper arms have tiny little red spots all over them | I love polka dot print.
The ends of my fingers raise up a tiny bit | Its a cool party trick (Not that I get invited to party's).
I have tiny little scars where I scratched gnat bites when I was little | It teaches me not to pick scabs.
slightly damaged nail bed | Just paint over it.
I cant take compliments | Learn to! I cant be that bad....

I just want to say that in no way do I see these things on other people as imperfections. This is just what I don't like on my body. Everyone I see is genuinely gorgeous but as some of you may know, us humans have a tendency to see what makes everyone else beautiful, ugly on ourselves. My sister has the same bump in the bridge of her nose but she looks beautiful. I just have a mindset that I'm ugly, I always have and I always will so all these little things are things that I feel look horrible on me, not anyone else. I have learnt over time that even though I don't like these things about me, it shouldn't matter. I shouldn't have to feel bad about myself for being who I am and looking how I do. 

These are all tiny little things but I've learnt over many years that its okay to have imperfections, just remember that all of those things add up to make you. Who you are is all of that and all the other bits and bobs in between. You are perfectly imperfect in this Barbie doll society. Your rare, one of a kind and that should be embraced. We are all different even in tiny ways but why fit in when you were born to stand out.

This might have seen like a pointless post and if I'm honest with you, I think I lost the point of my post about halfway through but oh well, that's just another little imperfection that makes me the quirky girl I am.

In the comment's below let me know some of the things you think are your imperfections. Do you love them, because you should. We are all beautiful and unique and we should embrace that fact each and everyday.

Bye for now xxx

Saturday, 25 April 2015

The creative blogger award |

I saw this tag and was also nominated to do it. I thought it would be really fun to answer and pass on to some lovely bloggers.

1. Nominate up to 15 blogs and notify them. 
2. Thank the blogger who nominated you and link their blog. 
3. Share 5 facts about yourself. 
4. Pass rules onto the nominees.

I was nominated by the blog, you should all pop over to the blog because its amazing.

Fact no.1
I have recently started playing Sims 3 and am a little bit obsessed with it. I have quite a nice life on there, a husband, baby and a great writing career. Some could say I'm living my dream life through a computer game and they would probably be right.

Fact no.2
I have never had a boyfriend. My friends used to think that was really weird.

Fact no.3
I am a really messy person. I like my life to be organised but I couldn't care less about my bedroom being organised and tidy. I'm not even joking, sometimes my room is so messy that I cant walk to my bed without tripping over something. I'm getting better though, I just need to learn to tidy things away when I use them.

Fact no.4
I was home school for three years when I was in primary school.

Fact no.5
When I was younger my dream job was to be a chef, that all changed when I realised I would have to cook what other people wanted and not what I wanted. I also realised tat I would have to touch fish and I cant stand the look or smell of it.

I nominate;

Thursday, 23 April 2015

Secondary school | Year 9

For the last two weeks I have been posting about my time in secondary school. Go and check out my other two posts here | Year 7 | Year 8. Now Today's post is a shorter one but in next weeks post it will be filled with even more of my ramblings.

Year 9 |
Year 9 seemed the most stressful year, we had to chose our options, what we wanted to do for our GCSE's. We were all split into ability properly in year 9 and I was surprised I was in the top set for History and English. Everyone was really scared of the History teacher. Basically in our school there were two teachers who were married and both their sons worked at the school as well, they all taught within the humanities area and they were all really nice but we a little bit scary. My form tutor in year 7 and 8 was his mum so I knew he cant of been that bad. When we had lessons with him he actually made us want to learn, he was enthusiastic about history and we loved that. Although he had a chair leg that he used to smash on the table to make us be quite, it was scary but unfortunately he was very good looking. Every single girl in the school has a little bit of crush on the male members of this family, there was just something about them that was oddly attractive....Moving on.

My form tutor in year 9 was Canadian and he was one of the best teachers our school had. At the end of the year he held a party in our form room for all of us, he was leaving and this was his way of saying goodbye. He came into school with bags of sweets, massive boxes of crisps, haribo's and boxes of coke (The drink!!, don't worry we didn't have a drug dealer as a teacher).

Year 9 was also the year when we had out sex education day! Now this was so cringy for all of us, the school clearly knew this as they separated the boys and the girls. Although we spent half the day giggling about what were being made to talk about, it was also the most embarrassing thing we did at school. It didn't really help that we went to different teacher for different parts of the day, we were sent to the history teacher that every single girl had a crush on to have "the sex talk". I can only assume it was just as awkward for the teachers as it was for us.

 When it came to picking our options I was put in an awkward situation. The kids in set 1 and 2 all had to to the English baccalaureate, which meant you had to do a humanities and a language. I was always going to do a humanities but I hated languages, it was something I struggled with and I had no patients to learn in French. Basically I was down two three choices, my friends chose the same subjects as each other which I thought was pointless. I didn't do what my friends did because I wanted to do something I enjoyed. In the end I picked Textiles, Art, History and French. I did put down Spanish but then the Spanish teacher left so they took it away from our options.

Well next weeks I will be chatting more about my school years as we make our way into year 10.

Bye for now xxx

Tuesday, 21 April 2015

Life update |

Now you may or may not have noticed that I haven't been on my blog as much as I usual am. I have been scheduling my posts more often and have got into a blog routine, where I post on Tuesdays' Thursday's and Saturdays. Now I like it this way but I still want to do posts whenever I feel like. 

The reason I've been away from writing for a few weeks is because I started a new job. Now its only part time and might only be temporary, they might keep the temps on permanently but for now its a little bit of money coming in to support my writing. I'm contracted 16 hours a week which is split into four 4 hour shifts. I now work in the cafe of a supermarket and that's why I've not been as active on my blog. 

Let me take you back a few weeks. I got a call asking me to come in for an interview on the 8th of April. I went along to it, not expecting anything to come from it. Long story short, I was offered the job and I took it. I then went on the following Saturday to my induction day where I was filling out paperwork and booklets. I did my first shift last Wednesday, then Thursday and then worked over the weekend.

I really love the women who work there, they are all really sweet and patient with me as I'm still learning. It's very different from my last job, in the social aspect. At my old job all of us started together, it was a new store so everyone  was in the same position. We formed quite close bonds and friendship's which is something I really miss from that job. Its not like that where I am, I feel like I'm in the way. Also my sister used to work in the department I'm working in, she works in a different part of the store now but I keep on getting compared to her. I expected it to happen but I'm finding it difficult to fit in.

I feel like I cant be me. Being me means letting my funny and quirky sense of humour loose on a whole new group of people, it also means that my sister will be embarrassed. At my old job I could be me because none of my family worked there, I could talk about things that were upsetting me to my friends at work without it being spread around. I've only done four shifts and although I love the women who work there, I know I wont have what I had at my last job. I have to be careful of what I say because that will all be passed onto my sister. I don't mean talk badly about her, of course I dont , I just know that everything I say will be passed on. I feel like I'm under constant scrutiny, on a constant comparison to my sister. How can people get to know the real me, when the real me is an embarrassment to my sister.

Any way that's whats been happening over the last few weeks. I might just give up on my blog schedule because I want to post more frequently again. I will also be writing my interview tips post. I feel like I've had so many that I've become quite an expert on what to do.

Bye for now xxx

Saturday, 18 April 2015

Im not your typical teenager |

There are certain things I say and do that make me certain that I'm not a typical teenager. I don't go clubbing, I prefer to be home in bed by 5pm. I take pride in the fact I have a small slipper selection and I have a little tray to put my tea on.

When I was at school all my friends would go out after school, they would spend hours just walking round the area and sitting about at the local park. I never really saw the point of that, why spend hours out in the cold when you could be at home all snuggled in your Jim jams. My friends always used to bug me about going out but I just don't think they understood that I thought what they were doing was utterly pointless.

I love murder mystery programs like Jonathan creek and midsummer murders. I don't know a lot of 17 year olds who like settling down to a crime drama. I remember at school everyone was chatting about what they were doing that night, it got round to me and I was jut like "Oh well the brand new series of midsummer starts tonight", they all just went quite and looked at me with a pitying smile. I think I am the way I am because of my mum and dad, I've grown up watching the stuff they like and while some people develop their own taste in what they enjoy, I just sort of stuck with it. I love a good a good mystery and I like working it out for myself.

My obsession with cosy slippers is a little embarrassing but I love a nice pair of snuggly slippers. I have gone a bit over board though, 4 pairs of slipper socks, 2 pairs of cosy slippers, a massive Minnie mouse pair and my new addiction which is a pair of floral slippers, when I say slippers I the type of thing your nan would probably pop to the shops in. When I got them I saw a girl about my age in the shop buying a pair of high heels, while I was excited at the fact I got my slippers in a sale. 

While other people I know are out clubbing and getting drunk I prefer staying at home and watching doctor who or a comedy DVD. I find it so funny looking on facebook to see pictures of their nights out clubbing, half of them end up drunk on a toilet floor about to vomit. I think its great to go and out have fun, I'm not completely weird. It just seems like people just go out to get drunk and not enjoy themselves any more. I don't think I will ever be the type to go out clubbing, I think I'm just to much of a home girl.

I know this post seems pointless but I wanted to write about it because I think I don't act how a typical teenage would. Maybe I'm wrong but I'm just basing this on comparisons between me and people I know.

Bye for now xxx

Thursday, 16 April 2015

Secondary School | Year 8

Last Thursday I post about Year 7 so if you want to check that out then I will link it somewhere in this sentence.

Year 8 |
In year 8 we all got mixed around, I was no loner with my form and it was a bit scary to be honest. In year 8 my friendship group began to mould itself into what it finished like. I think because we all knew each other better we got closer, which isn't always a good thing as I found out in year 10. I really loved year 8 because I was more confident and in my lessons and I had a good group of people that made me laugh. I loved geography because my best friend sat in front of me and I had a boy next to me who always made me laugh. This was the same in French and history as well, the four of us would always be sat next to each other. In year 8 my favourite lesson's were Geography, History and French. I loved my History teacher, he was funny, Irish and really sweet. He made our lessons so much fun and got me interested in the subject. 

The funniest thing that I remember is in a French lesson, we handed in out homework and we just hear our teacher go "'girls name - Thank you for handing your homework in, if your going to use Google translate can you at least put it in French, I don't speak Spanish". It was so funny at the time and the girl was so embarrassed, I felt really sorry for her. It was also in this year that I realised not everyone was as perfect and lovely as they seemed. We were in a music lesson and we got letter about going to see the theatre show of shrek, I said I couldn't go and my friend said "You should go, you look like shrek". I was so hurt by what she said, she basically called me ugly and after that I kept my distance from her. I hated English because my teacher was just so patronising, I lost my love of the lesson in year 8 and I didn't get it back for some time.

Next week I will be talking about year 9 and the teacher who carried a metal chair leg with him to frighten the students.

Bye for now xxx

Tuesday, 14 April 2015

My dating profile | Tag

I saw this tag over on Bria Lou's blog and I wanted to give it a go.  Also I've been super buy lately and I might have forgot to schedule a post. I'm really sorry but I'm hoping that next week I can blog a whole lot more. I also really wanted to do this post because I am a hopeless romantic and I wanted to share that with you all.

Just to start I'm going to just leave you with a quote from my favourite film, 'What if?'
"It's very easy to be cynical about love until you've had that instant connection. If you're lucky, it happens once in a lifetime."

My Dating Profile

Do you believe in love at first sight?
I don't believe in love at first sight, this is because I feel like that bases the love around appearance. I do however feel like after a few months you can know if you are in love with someone. I don't fall in love with appearance, I've only ever fallen in love one but I fell in love with humour, kindness and imperfection, I fall for humour and kindness. Basically I will fall in love with someone who doesn't are what I look like but are really lovely, sweet and funny to talk to.

What do you do for fun?
I really love baking and singing. Not that I sing in front of people but I love singing to Disney soundtracks and the wicked soundtrack.

Do you want/do you have any children?
I really want to have children when I'm older. One of my biggest fears is that I wont be able to. I have always wanted to have children since a young age. I think its because I have grown up around babies and I'm a very family orientated person. Ideally I would like to have two or three children. 

What are you looking for in a relationship?
I want to find someone who doesn't care what I look like. Someone who wants to know about my day, likes the same things as me. Someone who gets my sense of humour and knows how to cheer me up when I'm sad. They would preferably need to like doctor who, I mean it wouldn't be compulsory but I'm a massive geek so they would need to learn to love that side of me.

What is the one thing about yourself that you would like me to know?
I am a massive doctor who fan, some people find that a bit weird but I don't see anything wrong with it.

If you won a lottery, how would you spend your millions?
I would give my family a bit of money and then I would buy myself a lovely little house in Devon or Brighton.I would put the rest o the money in an ISA account to make interest on it.

Which was the first crush you ever had?
My firs crush was a boy in my class in year 2. But my family say my first crush was the boy in my playschool which is really awkward because we were pretty good friends at secondary school.

You have got six months to live, what will you do first?
Tell people I love them and be brave and admit things to people that I wouldn't dream of telling them. Id also want to go the harry potter world and Disney land

Are you a morning person or a night person?
Night person. I find that I get a lot done later in the day.

If you have friends coming over, what would you cook?
Friend's? Okay lets pretend I have them. I would cook them something simple like a curry.

If you could travel back through time, what single mistake would you correct in life?
I've made a lot of mistakes but would I change them? No, all those little mistakes have led me to be the person I am now. 

Where do you see yourself in five years time?
Hopefully still writing this blog and maybe it might have led me onto new things. I would also like to be in a relationship with someone I love and possibly living together. We cant predict the future but  I just hope that I'm happy with or without a man.

I tag all of you reading this, so if you do it leave a comment with a link and I can go and be nosey.

Well I hope you enjoyed that post. To be honest I was going to do a book review but there's been a lot going on lately, so I haven't had much time to read. I will update you all but for the next week its going to be a bit hectic.

Bye for now xxx

Saturday, 11 April 2015

Amazon haul*

I thought I would do a little haul of the bits I purchased from Amazon. Now these are things that I have wanted to get for a while now and since they might feature on my blog in the future, I wanted to show you what I got. 

Books |
So I watched Twilight breaking dawn part 1 and 2 about a week ago and I loved it. I never used to watch twilight but I'm in love with it now. I want to get the films but I wanted to read the books first. I will of course be reviewing the books and giving you my thoughts at some point. I got all the books and I got them for a good price (In my opinion). If you want to get any of the books then click on the images below and it will take you to the page.



New moon

Breaking dawn

Tripod |
 The next thing I got has been on my wish list for months. I finally got a tripod. After months of balancing my camera on a pile of DVDs and books, I decided it was time to get one, I didn't want to spend loads of money of it so I looked for a few hours, comparing prices and reviews. After I while I decided to get the "Univeral 50" Portable camera camcorder tripod stand with carry case". This was really cheap and its is such a great tripod. It extends to different heights and is really handy to have, The top part also moves so you can angle the camera in different positions. 

This was only £5.49 which I thought was an absolute bargain. If you want to get this then click the image to take you to the page.

                                                                                                                                                                       Sims 3 | 
The last thing I got was a log awaited purchase. I finally got Sims 3! I know its been out since 2009 but I've hear that Sims 4 is really bad, also my cousin plays Sims 3 and loves it. I was with her yesterday and we were creating characters which was quite fun. I got the Sims 3 starter pack which was £23.99. If you want to get the Sims 3 then click the picture to take you to the page.

Wells that's it for now. I hope you liked that post, I know it mights have been a little boring but I wanted to show you the bits as I will obviously be reviewing the books.

Bye for now xxx

Thursday, 9 April 2015

Happy 1st Blogiversary |


So today is my blogs 1st anniversary/birthday. I remember this time last year I was debating whether or not to start a blog. I didn't think anyone would actually read it and I certainly didn't think I would carry it on for a whole year. For me my blog was a hobby that I started when I didn't have a job, when I got my job I was so happy and shared that with all of you. I know I quit my job but I did that for a few reasons, writing being one of them. I finally found something that I was interested in and I wanted to see if I could make it work. Granted I'm not the best writer but I love sharing my thoughts with my readers. I know my audience is small and I only have 8500 views but to me its more than statistics, I have made blogging friends who, even though I have never met them, I value the opinion of greatly.

Blogging has also helped me gain confidence with sharing my opinions. When I typed my first blog post last year, I remember being very caution of what I was putting online. I know everyone has a responsibly as to what I share online but I have learnt that I can state my opinions and have discussions on topics that I would never dream of talking about with people I know. I think older generation's see the Internet as a dangerous place and I do agree in some respects but as long as you know how to use the Internet then its a brilliant place to be.

 This pasty ear has also been filled with little things that have filled me with so much happiness. Tanya Burr liked my post about her nail varnish on tumblr, Louise from sprinkleofglitter liked my post about her on tumblr, Harry Judd replied to one of my tweets and Ellie Steadman replied to my tweets. These are all tiny little things that have me me smile but if I didn't have my blog than they wouldn't have happened.

I just want to say that the past year hasn't been all smiles and rainbows, its been hard for me in some places. I've had to deal with things that I really didn't expect would happen (Don't worry its nothing to do with family or illness, its something else that no one else that I've dealt with personally), but that's led to a plot line for a book I'm writing. I think its made me a stronger person but it still hurts a little. I think we can all learn from experience's, good or bad but its how we let it effect us. I was watching Princess Dairies a few weeks ago and there was a lovely quote that has just stuck with me, "Courage is not the absence of fear, but rather the judgement that something is more important than fear. The brave may not live forever, but the cautious do not live at all.". This for me represents my life now. I cant not do something because I fear the outcome. 

I also started this blog because in my house I feel invisible. My family love me and I love them, it just feels like I go by unnoticed most of the time. They acknowledge that I'm there but when I speak everyone just talks over me. I can be talking about something with mum and dad and my dad just changes the subject and just stops my conversation. I don't know why it bothers me, its been the same all my life and I know my dad doesn't mean to do it, I just feel like I don't have a voice in my own home. That's why this blog means so much to me, I can ramble on about anything and I wont be interrupted. I love the freedom I have on here to talk about things I love, things that are upsetting me and I can do this without anyone changing the subject. I still find it so amazing that people actually take the time to read what I have to say and they take the time to write such lovely comments.

I feel like I have created a friendship group online, filled with people that know little bits about me that no one else knows. I can ask them things without judgement and we all help each other. All the Beau bloggers are all so supportive and they leave me so any lovely comments. They are all amazing bloggers and I love reading all about their lives, their music taste, art and other posts. I feel like even thought I'll probably never meet these people, I can still relate to them in so many ways.

When I started this blog I didn't want to tell anyone I knew about it, it was my own little thing that I did and that I enjoyed. I got to know people this year that are genuinely so sweet and supportive and I felt ready to tell them. I still haven't told my family and I love that. That sounds horrible but I know that my family would see it as something weird, a stupid idea that wont go anywhere. I guess the people I met this year had faith that I could be more that what I had intended, I didn't just have to be the shop girl, I could actually do something I loved and I'm really happy I told them about this.

I also want to say massive thank you to Bria Lou. You have been so supportive and have given me advice when I needed it most, I know I don't know you properly but I really hope we meet one day. We started our blogs around the same time and your blog has grown so much, I love all your posts and I know that you would help me with mine if I needed it. I wish you all the luck for the future, I guarantee you'll have books on the shelves of waterstones and will probably be on the best sellers living your dreams.

Well that's about it for this post. I hope you liked it and let me know in the comments what you think I could improve on my blog, I want to make it the best it can be.

Bye for now xxx


Tuesday, 7 April 2015

Make up collection |

I wanted to do this post to show you what make up I use. Now I don't wear make up often but I have a small make up bag that has got all my essentials in it. I hope the photo quality of my pictures isn't to bad, so I hope you enjoy this post.

I keep all of my make up in this small little bag. I got this from superdrug a few years ago when they had all the Christmas gifts in. I think this is the perfect size for my make up, although it is very full so I might need to get a new one soon. As you can see from this picture, I keep my make up brushes in a separate pot. I did a post about my make up brushes a while ago, so if you want to take a look at then just click here or click on the image below.

So I basically tipped all of my make up onto my table so I could show you all the make up I have. I'm going to be showing you them separately but this is just to show you the amount of make up I have. I know my most have drawers full of make up but I don't like wearing a lot, I also find that some make up products make my skin really bad. 

Base |

Here are the products I use as a base on my face. I have my foundation, a tinted moisturiser and powder. For days when I want to get a bit of coverage but don't want my face to feel weighed down with foundation, I use the tinted moisturiser. I have had this for ages now so I should probably get rid out it at some point. My foundation is Maybelline's dream satin liquid in the shade Ivory. I really love this foundation as it doesn't feel to heavy on my skin. I blend my foundation in quite a bit because I want it to look more natural. My only issue with foundation is that I constantly worry I look to orange. The powder I use is Maybelline fit me in natural beige, I really like this power as it does what it needs to do and its quite cheap.

The thing I use is my concealer. This is my favourite product and I need to use it. I have dark circles under my eyes and it makes my face look fresher and gives me light under my eyes, if I don't use this then my eyes look awful. The concealer I use is Maybelline dream lumitouch.

Eyes | 
I like to make my eyes the main focus of my make up but I have quite a chubby face, so I find it difficult to make my eyes stand out. For my mascara I have a few that I use so I can layer up to give me volume. I have the fast last mascara that I got free with a magazine but its quite bad, I only showed you as its in my make up bag. I have a travel size No7 exceptional definition mascara that really good for a light coat of mascara. I then use the Maybelline Big eyes mascara that has two brushes, its has one which is very small to coat the lower lashes and a normal sized brush to apply to the top lashes. Now if I want to make my eyes really stand out with long lashes, I used the Rimmel London wonder'full mascara. This one has a a really good bush that's really flexible, so its great to apply mascara. I don't have the waterproof one but I'm going to get that soon. My favourite is the Rimmel London one as it gives a lot of volume to my eye lashes

My eye Shadow collection is a bit of a mish mash of colours. I have mainly neutral earthy colours but I do have some bright colours that came in a gift set. I have a fear cotton eye shadow pallet which has some really lovely earthy colours. I also have a little mix trio which are more glittery but are still good as they are browns which I use on my eyes normally. I have a body shop eye shadow which is a pale brown colour, I really like this as I think it has a good pigment. I have a small No7 shade which is a lovely cream colour, I like to use this in my inner corners to create more light around my eyes and to draw more attention to them. I have three colour's from accessories which is a deep charcoal grey, silver and an electric purple. These are colours I don't really use but would e nice if used very lightly.

Blusher |
I have two blushers which aren't branded. I got these in a set I got a Christmas and I think they re perfectly fine for what I need. I like to use the bigger blusher because its got two colours which look really nice and subtle when applied. I also have the benefit posie tint. I don't really use this but I think I should start using it more as my sister says its a really good product.

Eyebrows |
I have quite full brows naturally but sometimes they do need filling in just a little to give them more definition. I use the collection work the colour eyebrow git. I love this kit as it comes with  a clear brow mascara and the colours are really good. I normally use the medium brown shade on my eyebrows. The other product I have for my eyebrows is the No7 amazing brow pencil in shade 10. This is really good for filling in your eyebrows when they just need a little light definition.

Lips |
These are my lip products that I really love. I have an No7 lip gloss in the shade smile. I have three Tanya Burr lip glosses but the other one is in my handbag. I have the lip glosses in the shade's afternoon tea, aurora and smile, dream, sparkle. I also have a Rimmel London hate moss lipstick in shade 101.

I really hope you liked that post, I know is different for me to post about make up but I wanted to do this post for a few months. I do really want to post some make up looks but I will have to post different pictures of my face as I don't like showing my whole face on my blog. If I do then it will include close up pictures of my eyes, skin, eyebrows and lips. Please let me know if that's something you would be interested in.

Bye for now xxx

I have a blog schedule |

Tuesday | Thursday | Saturday
If you're a regular reader then you will know that I post at any time during the week and my posts can be all over the place. I have decided that I want a proper schedule for my post. I wanted to do it so that there's a day in between each post.

I have decided that my schedule will be like this: Tuesday, Thursday's and Saturdays. I think that's a good way to give a bit more stability to my blog. Let me know what you think in the comments. Over time I would like to theme each of the days I post on, just so people know what to expect but I'm going to plan that properly and it might happen within the next few weeks.

I do still want to post my 'Dream Journal' posts but I need to find a way for them to just show up in the page specifically for them. So if any of you know how to do that, please email me or let me know in the comments. I still want to be able to post them as an when because some days I dream and some days I don't, so it would be nice to just post them in the page without them showing up on my home page.

Bye for now xxx

Sunday, 5 April 2015

Getting fitter |


I have struggled with dieting for many years but its gotten to a point where I feel like I need to make a change, my weight doesn't bother me but I don't want it to effect my health. I know that when I can lose a little weigh then I will be much healthier and be a bit more confident. I'm giving myself a year to loose 6stone. That quite a lot of weight to loose but I don't want to go mad and lose it to quickly, it needs to be a lifestyle change and I cant do that overnight. I want to make a change to my diet and start an exercise plan.

 I might do a little section about getting fitter but let me know if that's something you would want to see in the comments. I find it very hard to diet and never find the motivation to exercise, I'm lazy and I need to change that. I have an exercise bike that I'm going to start using, I'm going to do 10 minutes a day for the first few days and week by week increase it by ten minute's until I can do a straight hour. When you read this you will probably think I'm stupid but because I am quite heavy it makes my thighs and calves feel like they are cramping. I just need to introduce new things into my lifestyle to make a slow difference. I would really love to hear any tips that you have, please leave them below in the comments as I would love some advice. I have thought about getting a foot pedal thing, basically its the pedals of a bike that you can do sitting down, I think that this would be good as I spend a lot of time at my desk writing and if I could exercise my legs while I write then it could help.

My goal wight is 11stone. From that you can all work out my weight and I'm fine with that, I used to get very embarrassed about my weight but to be honest that's who I am and im not ashamed of that. I just know that I need to make a change, I don't want to be the girl who died really young because she ate to much. I want to live a healthier life and to be able to run around and play with my cousin without getting out of breath. As I've got older I have also realised that when I get to the age where I want children, It could be difficult to get pregnant and I would be more high risk being overweight. This sounds silly but children have always been part of my future plans, obviously I will need a boyfriend/ husband so if I managed to find one of those then I want to know I can have a baby.

 As you can tell I have thought a lot about this and I just wanted to share this with you all. Please let me know if you have any advice because I would love to hear it.

Bye for now xxx

Thursday, 2 April 2015

Secondary School | Year 7

I've wanted to do this post for some time now but never really got round to it. I have mixed feeling about my time at secondary school. For those of you how don't know, secondary school in England is for kids 11-16, I think in America its called high school but I'm probably wrong. I'm going to chat about the different years, maybe lessons and all the embarrassing stuff in between. Before we start I just want to tell you all that from the age of 7-11 I was taught at home, so I didn't do half of primary school. I went to look round the secondary school because I didn't want my mum to have to teach me for another 5 years, she did an amazing job as it was but she has her own life and I felt like I was holding her back.

Year 7 |
In year 7 I went into the school with no friends, everyone else has people they knew from primary school and it was strange for me. I didn't tell anyone that I was home schooled, the only people that knew were three girls that I had know since playschool. I had an amazing year leader who really helped me settle in. I was quite a shy child and I cried a lot in the first few months of year 7 and I can remember getting really upset and he took me to the year leaders office and made me a hot chocolate and helped me understand that there wasn't anything to be scared about. He was one of my favourite teachers but he sadly died as few years later. The lessons we had were all as a form group, the only lessons we were mixed were design and technology, P.E and Maths. 

The rest of our lessons we were all together which was nice. In year 7 I formed a massive crush on a boy who will remain nameless but I thought it was true love. I never told him, of course I didn't. I was the fat girl that was constantly crying and he was blonde and very handsome, my type has dramatically changed since then. I also got into my group of friends which got smaller over the years. In year 7 two embarrassing things happened to me and being I don't want there to be any secrets between us, I shall tell you them. I got an award in assembly and when I got up to get it, my foot got caught in my PE bag and I fell on the floor in front of all my year. The second thing that happened is something I will never get over, I felt ill and didn't know I was going to be sick, I then threw up over my two friends and the boy who didn't really like me, he was also best friends with the boy I had a crush on. I was mortified but I had to go in the next day, I took them sweets to apologise. I will never forget that embarrassing moment and now its on the Internet for all to see. My favourite lessons in year 7 were English and Re. My teachers were just really fun and made the lessons really enjoyable.

Next week I will be chatting about my time in year 8. Let me know what you thought in the comments below. Fell free to share this on twitter, instagram or not, no pressure.

Bye for now xxx

Wednesday, 1 April 2015

Wednesday 1st April 2015 | Dream journal

last night was a collection of fantastic dreams mixed with some negative ones and like usual, I thought I would share them with you.

Now the first part of my dream was a big mixture of emotions but I loved it anyway. At first I was in this cute forest with fairy lights all around, it turns out I was getting married and I was still picking my dress. The dress I eventually picked was actually really beautiful, it was ivory coloured and had beautiful lace detailing. Its the type of thing I would wear if I ever get married. I don't know who I was marrying but he was really sweet and kind. The dress looked a little like this.

Now straight after this my dream changed, I was at a shopping centre but it was super modern and looked a little bit like it had come from the future. I was with my mum and sister and we were walking somewhere, I don't know where. I then saw two girls I used to be best friends with at school. They looked at me, laughed and called me a fat b*tch. My sister then looked through her facebook to see that the girls had written about me and were being really cruel, they even mentioned something that happened to me (Not in my dream, this actually happened) that was really embarrassing and they were just being so cruel. I spent hours crying about this to my family until I saw another girl from school, she was really lovely just like she is in real life. she was there with people I used to work with and for some reason we were all in my house panicking about something, I cant rememberer what it was but it was clearly important based on how stressed we all were.

I looked on dreamforth to see what it said about my dream. Here's what it said about weddings "To dream of a wedding indicates your life is about to change. An aspect of your waking life is ending, but another is about to begin.". Now I don't know what's going to happen in the future and I don't know if anything will change, I'll let you know if anything changes.

Here's what it said about wedding dresses "To dream of a wedding dress foreshadows new and exciting experiences. You may meet people who you will grow to cherish as valued friends.". If this is true then I'm looking forward to new and exciting things.

This is what it said about crying "To dream that you are crying indicates a release of depressing feelings that may be closely linked to actual happenings in your waking life rather than scenes from the dream itself. Your dream may be a means to restore some emotional stability whilst providing an appropriate outlet for your fears and frustrations. As people go through their everyday lives, they tend to push back, ignore, disallow, or repress their true emotions. It is only through their dreams that they are able to unmask their persona and truly express their feelings.". This is something that I think reflects me very well, I don't like to tell people how I'm feeling because I feel like I'm showing them a weak side of myself.

Even though there was part of this dream that was upsetting, I still really loved it. It involve people that I enjoy spending time with and it was actually quite nice.

Bye for now xxx