Tuesday, 31 March 2015

Living in a shadow | Comparison


Today I want to chat about comparison and how it can affect people. Our whole lives we are and always will be compared to others, whether that's in school, college or work. I've never had an issue with being compared to other people at school, simply because i knew that I was doing my best. I knew that other people would be better than me at things but I never really cared, I liked the fact that in a way I was unique. We even do i ourselves, we look at other people and compare lives. Now I think its okay to do that but when its other people comparing you to another then it can get to you.

Now the reason I wanted to talk about comparison is because I think its a completely different matter when your are compared to family. Now my whole life I have been compared to my sister, now these are comparison that my relatives make and well....it gets to me. I love my sister with all my heart but I feel like I'm living in her shadow, people compare us and it makes me feel inadequate. Now my sister is beautiful, skinny, popular and is making plans for the future whereas I'm not skinny, I'm not beautiful and I've never been popular. Now people at school would always compare me and her, teachers would say how different we were and say how we look nothing like each other. 

I remember sitting in my form room in year 8, my sister walked in to ask my form tutor about some work and she said hello to me. Its then that my class realised she was my sister, that then led to the boy I sat next to turning round to the boy behind and saying "Isn't that weird? Chloe's sister gorgeous and slim and well Chloe's just ugly". I know its not my sister fault but that made me feel like sh*t if I'm honest with you. I know I don't look like her but I don't need to be told how ugly I am. I think people will siblings will understand where I'm coming from, its like people expect you to be like your older siblings. People already have a view of what your family is like by the older children and then criticise you when your not like them at all.

There a song that was cut from frozen called more than just a spare. I think its really relatable and if you want to hear it, click the picture of Anna and Elsa and it will take you to YouTube clip I found.

Because I'm the youngest it feels like whenever I achieve something its always compared to my sisters achievement's. In a way that's why I started this blog. No one in my family knows and its the one thing my sister hasn't done. She started a blog a month after I did but didn't write any posts. Now I know that I'm a terrible blogger, my writing style is awful and I'm not great with spelling and grammar but I have found the one thing that I enjoy, the thing that no one else in my family has done and its the one thing people cant compare. 

I feel like I'm constantly trying to live up to whatever my sister has done, I seek approval for people who don't matter because I know that I have to prove my worth. To people looking at our lives, I'm the girl with no job, friends and a bit of a screw up. Whereas my sister has a job, goes to uni, has a good social life and is basically golden girl to everyone else. Is it wrong for me to not want to live in her shadow, I feel like I constantly have to catch up to her and prove that I can do it. People just assume that I cant and make a judgement before they know what I can do, they compare us but it seems to be me that gets the bad end of it.

If your one of the people that finds yourself comparing other people then please just think before you speak, think about how it might affect the person your saying it to. Do make people feel like they have to live in the shadow of their siblings. I think people assume that because siblings are related, they should be the same. I've had to realise that I'm not her, I'm not the pretty, skinny and popular girl. I'm the girl who loves doctor who, writing/ reading romance novels and enjoys pouring my heart out to you lovely people online. This is the once place I cant be compared to her, granted I'm probably contestant compared to other blogger's but to me that doesn't matter. Just being me and saying what I think has managed to get me a lovely little following and I couldn't be more grateful for that.

Please let me know your thought in the commend. If you liked this post then +1 it, share it or do whatever you like with it.

Bye for now xxx

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