Thursday, 5 February 2015

Blogging the worries away

Today is more of a post for me to just pour out all my thoughts, good and bad. To be completely honest with you all, I feel useless and sometimes I just don't see how I fit in at all. This blog stared as a little hobby that I could update maybe once a month but its become so much more than a hobby, its like a way of life for me now. Do you know hoe nice it is to say something and for someone to listen. This is what my blog feels like, my words are me speaking to my readers and the fact that you read and it comment means the world to me. I live in a house where I feel like I go unnoticed, a house full of love but I'm just not listened to, its not their fault and I know that but it seems like because I don't want to shout to be heard that my thoughts just get pushed aside.

 I write on this blog because my readers, you, have become a massive part of my life I may have a tiny following but my readers are people who I value the opinion of and that's what makes me feel human. You all take the time to read what I have to say and you comment with such lovely words, even though my following is tiny it feels like the world, no one normally likes to hear what I have to say so that's why I just write down all my thoughts on my tiny space online, Its so nice to share what I have to say or how I'm feeling without feeling like I'm being a burden, today I'm feeling like my world is about to tumble down around me and i don't know what to do. I don't know why but it seems I'm having more an more days like this, well that's a lie. I know exactly why I feel like this but the reason probably makes me a horrible person. I just get irritated by the people around me, maybe its because no matter how many times I speak I can see its just going in one ear and out the other. 

Sometimes I wonder if they would notice if I left, if I just got up and walked away from my life and went and lived on my own. I'm currently sitting on my own in a my bedroom typing away on my computer, its so quiet around me yet my mind is screaming at me, my mind used to be such a beautiful place where I could just go to escape the worries of everyday life but today it just wont stop. No amount of Ed Sheeran blasting through my ears is stopping it. Although one good thing to come out of this is that when I feel like this I make a lot of progress with my writing, lets just say some of the characters have become my way to express my feeling towards people, its probably terrible but if all those emotions are vented into characters then it stops me from venting those thoughts to the world, there for me to know and for no one else to hear about, I promise I will be back tomorrow with a more positive post and Im sorry I made this one, I know you will all understand as we all need somewhere to vent once in a while.

By for now xxx

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