Tuesday, 29 December 2015

L.O.V.E. | Its complicated

Hello lovelies
So I just want to start by saying that this was actually schedule for valentines day 2016. I have had this saved in my drafts for about 8-9months and I wanted to finally post it to explain why I don't really like valentines day. After many chats with the girl at work I've decided that I need to let go of this person, its going to be hard for me but I want to be able to go into 2016 with optimism and hope that maybe I can find someone who feels the same about me. This is a very long winded post but I need this to stay in 2015 because I'm sick of all the heartache and next year I'm determined to focus on me and not be hung up on someone that just doesn't even care.. I share so much with all of you and the only person who has ever seen this is Lou and now its out there for all of you to see. This is going to be a very long post but this is a collection of everything that's been going round my head and a little something at the bottom which is what I would say to him if I could. Maybe this is to personal to share but I need to do it, you all support me with everything I do with my life and my blog so I feel like you have a right to see every part of me (NOT every part as in naked.......theres many things I would do but that is certainly not one of them.....glad we cleared that up haha.) even if that include telling you that bad and broken parts. I hope you all read this as me and just realise that what you may class as love could be completely different from mine. Well here goes....Wish me luck.....

For me love is something that I hadn't ever experienced. When I say love I mean in love with someone. It goes without saying that I love my family but the art of falling in love with someone is one that baffled me.

When were younger we are just born out of love into love. We are born with a natural affection for the people around us. A lot of people have been born into my little family and I can't remember a definitive moment where I grew to love them. The love just appeared and its stayed there ever since. Falling in love is a completely different matter. Although I've never been in a relationship, that doesn't mean I haven't been attracted to boys and had crushes on them. Growing up we think that every crush we have is love, we mistake our emotions of lust for love. I never really knew the difference between the two but now I do. I'm not in a relationship but its safe to say that I now have a very good understanding of love.

Love for me is like an addiction and I can't work out if that's a good or bad thing. Loving someone who doesn't know is hard because every part of you wants to tell that person, but your mind and your heart stops you. For whatever reason you can't tell that person how you feel, that won't stop you from loving them. Every waking moment will be spent thinking about them. Wondering what they're up to and just imaging a life that won't actually ever become a reality. I thought it was hard to fall in love with someone, the thought that you could just one day fall for someone confused me. When you meet someone who makes you laugh, makes you smile without saying a word, makes you feel beautiful without even realising it, well I feel like that was the moment that I fell and trust me I fell pretty hard. I fell in love and I still haven't been able to move past it. I Stumbled into this love and Ive been trying so hard to stop this feeling.

It hurts. It really does and I haven't told anyone because I just don't think I'll be taken seriously. To some I'm still a naive teenager but I know what I feel and its hard that I can't stop it. I can't stop dreaming of them, Ive tried but in my dreams its just playing the same scenario. My life with him the way I had planned so many times. First date, engagement, wedding, first home and first child. I know I'm crazy for imagining that but I'm a hopeless romantic and a part of me imagines scenarios like that because I know, deep down that I probably won't ever have any of that. I'm not in a position to meet someone and even if I was, who's going to want me. I'm nothing special but that one person who made me feel like all of that could be possible is just a figure of my imagination now. I can't help but indulge in these little dreams because theres a part of me that clings to that as a consolation prize for something I don't think I will ever have.

Love is many things, its exciting, its torture, its fun, its learning to love the things you once hated, its painful. The one thing I know is that unrequited love is the worst of all. Its painful but maybe one day it will get better. Maybe one day I'll meet someone who is all those things and more...but then again maybe its just another little dream that ill add to the collection.

Lou said "This is going to sound like the most shallow thing in the world, but I want to be found attractive. I know that my self-worth isn't measured by the opinion of others blah blah blah, but I'd like to be the object of someones affections, just once. I'd like to fall in love, with someone who loves me too. I want to be so deeply consumed in love that I can't see straight or think straight.". I don't think that's shallow at all, its shows that she's capable of letting someone else in. It shows that her heart has enough room for someone else and she just wants someone to feel like that for her.

Ive been through the exact same thing and I'm still going through that. Ive felt what Lou has felt, I know what its like to want to be loved. Ive had many crushes in my short time but when I met this one person, my god, my world seemed a little more complete than it had ever felt. It was like all my broken pieces magically glued themselves back together when I was around him. I loved him, I love him but its very hard to have those feelings when you know in your heart that they either can't or won't love you in that way. That's okay. I mean I never told him how I felt because to him, I was probably a very immature women who had no clue what she felt. It was weird for me though, I had never felt that way and its very difficult for me to stop feeling that way. 

Know I was chatting with the girl at work about men, not this man because its not really anything I want them to know because I don't want to seem really strange. I said that I find it funny how someone who looks like me can have such high standards in men, looks wise. Of course I don't judge people on appearance but its natural when you see someone who is good looking to like that. The man I fell for doesn't look anything like the men we chat about, he's gorgeous but in his own way. I think that grows with time, its certain things that create that perfection. A smile that just makes your whole world light up, a laugh that fills you with so much joy and a heart that's just so pure. With the girl at work I talk about men of course I do. We both have the same sort of humour and I'm not ashamed to admit that our friendship is basically based on our mutual love of mcfly, Disney, harry potter, inappropriate jokes and sexual puns. I love that I have someone who I can be really silly with but even though I've told her about him, I haven't gone into how I actually feel...I think she would see it as a bit weird even though I'm very strange anyway.

I want someone to love me, to find me attractive and to want to love me like I know I can love people. I'm just worried that that's not going to happen. I'm not the pretty girl, I'm not the skinny girl and I'm not the girl who goes out drinking and clubbing and the one who everyone wants to be with. I'm quirky, I'm plus size, I'm not a beauty but I'm not a beast. I'm me and I just want someone to notice that maybe I can be the one they fall in love with. The annoying thing is, the man I fell in love with made me feel beautiful, he made me feel like I was important, like I was worth something. I miss that feeling. He never said it but some people can just made you feel that way, in loving him I loved myself for a while. He's happy and that's what matters. As much as it kills me that its not with me, he's happy and I want him to be. Theres just so many what ifs, theres a part of me that thinks he could have loved me the way I love him....Just a small part. Its stupid living in what ifs but those what ifs are what keep me awake at night, the little scenarios in my head that I had created. 

Is that weird? It sounds it but have you ever wanted something to happen so much that you plan what it would be like if it did? Well that was what I did, I planned silly things like going out on a date, cuddling up on the sofa to watch TV, in my mind I had my future mapped out. Everything I have ever dream of is stored away in my mind and its just mine, part of me imagines scenarios like that because I know, deep down that I probably won't ever have any of that. I'm not in a position to meet someone and even if I was, who's going to want me. I'm nothing special but that one person who made me feel like all of that could be possible is just a figure of my imagination now. I can't help but indulge in these little dreams because theres a part of me that clings to that as a consolation prize for something I don't think I will ever have.

Why shouldn't we want to be found attractive? Why shouldn't we want to be love? I want someone who I can love with all my heart, who'll do the same for me and someone who I can move on with. My life's nothing to complain about but I'm broken, I feel like a bit of me's missing and I don't quite feel like me. I spend my life second guessing everything I do because I don't know if I'm the problem. I just want to meet someone who makes me feel like he made me feel, whenever I felt broken I had the knowledge that being around him fixed me a little. For a short while he made me feel fixed, like everything was going to be okay.

What do I want to say to him, well here it is. My heart written down for you all to see and probably giggle at. I just don't care anymore. In writing this I hope that I can maybe start to move on and just let go of this part of my life that is so bittersweet.

Dear you,
It's been over a year since we last spoke, over a year since I last saw you and I thought I'd be over you by now. You see, you didn't know but I loved you...but I never really stopped.

It may have been wrong for me to feel the way I do but from the moment we we spoke I could tell that you were different. I'd had plenty of crushes over the years but you were so different and I fell totally and madly in love with you. If you ever ready this then it might suddenly click into place why I left so suddenly.

Why didn't you tell me? You may be asking, well you had a girlfriend and still do. As much as I love you I would have never wanted to burden you with that, you wouldn't have felt the same but it would have made things so awkward. As much as it hurts me that I can't be with you, it's bittersweet. I'm heartbroken but I'm also happy for you. You love her how I love you, I love loving you and it must feel so special that you have someone who loves you back in the same way.

I know exactly why I love you and you're just someone I don't think I'll ever get over even though we were never together. You made me laugh, smile, saved me from myself and you made me feel beautiful. In loving you I loved myself for once in my life. I remember you said to me at work "if you feel like your drowning, call me and I'll save you". You were talking about work, you saved me in a completely different way. I fell in love with a man who was kind and considerate, a man who laughed at my unfunny jokes and could sent my heart into a flutter whenever I saw you.

There's one thing that bugs me after all this time. My whole head is full of what ifs. What if you hadn't had a girlfriend? Would there have been a chance for us? There's a small part of me that thought maybe you did like me. We got on so well. When I left you said it had been a pleasure and that you were sure you'd see me again, I agreed as if I would pop back every now and then. I haven't allowed myself to see you again, it breaks my heart that I love you because I know I'll never be with you. I couldn't go back now after all this time, I don't know what I'd do if I saw you again. If probably make some inappropriate joke that you'd laugh at and then we'd part ways again and then I'd probably burst into tears.

Since you've been gone I've been to a dark place that I never want to go to again, I've got a new job and made some incredible friends. I've fancied a few new men but none of them really compare. I'm trapped because I want to move on from how i feel for you but I can't let go of my what ifs. It's not like men are lining up to date me but I'm worried that if there's a situation where someone actually wants to date me, will they compare? Can I let go of everything I feel for you. Even though you never accepted it, my hearts yours and for now that's how it's staying...it's been so long that I don't really have a say in it anymore.

There it is. Every single thought that's been floating around my head for the last year and a half. I'm optimistic for the future, I know that I'll meet someone who will make all my dreams come true and maybe one day ill look back on this and just laugh at how silly it all was but for now there it is. I hope I haven't annoyed anyone with this post but you know me, I post a lot of crap on this blog so at this point literally anything goes on here, haha.

Well I know that was really long, this is just something that I've been putting off posting. If he ever sees this then I'm not even sorry anymore. No one knows at the minute who writes this blog and no names were mentioned, just know that if you ever find out who it is who writes this blog and you know your the one its about....Thank you. You made me realise that I had it in me to love so strongly and passionately, I just hope that in getting over you I can find a new happiness.

Lots of love,
Chloe xxx

Thursday, 24 December 2015

Blogmas day 24 | A very youtube christmas

Hello lovelies,
Its Christmas eve and I'm feeling really festive now. Ive been working non stop this week and yesterday was my last day before Christmases. I was counting down the hours and when the hours had gone I was counting down the minutes. I feel mentally drained this week and spending my Christmas surrounded by rude customers wasn't the best. However, I have had a very fun week at work, I've giggled a little to much, made some very funny yet rude jokes and I've had to bite my tongue on several occasions not to start arguments. 

I'm finally free of work until boxing day. Yes that rights, I volunteered to work on the busiest day of the year. I'm regretting it slightly because not only am I working 9-5 but I then have to come home and bake cinnamon buns for work on Sunday....Its say to say that I'm going to be shattered by Monday but I'm planning on sleeping all day.

I know that this year my blogmas has been such a let down. Last year I wasn't working so I had so much more time to write and plan posts. I'm so happy that I have my job but because I'm fully flexible with my hours, I can get called in at any time so planing certain days to do blogmas related things has been difficult. 

Anyway I saw this tag on Zoe's video and I really wanted to do it. I thought it would be fun and I would love to see your answers so let me know in the comments. I'm including all the youtubers I watch, some of them you might not know of but ill leave a link in their names.

Who would bring the best dessert?
I think that jemma (Cupcakejemma) would bring the best dessert because she is an amazing baker. Ive been to her cupcake shop in soho and the salted caramel pretzel cake is incredible. 

Who would carve the turkey?

I would say that jim would be the one to carve the turkey. I think he just seems really adult and like he could carve the turkey well.

Who would take the best photos?
Zoe, her blog photography is brilliant so I think she would take the best photos.

Who would look the most glam?

Louise would be the most glam for sure. I think she would look stunning and I'm sure she would wear something full of sparkles.

Who would have the tackiest Christmas jumper?

Casper lee, I think that Joe would probably make him wear a tacky jumper for a joke.

Who would make the worst Christmas jokes?

I feel like it would be 

Who would fall asleep first?

Tanya burr.

Who would be the last one dancing?
Alfie deyes, in his vlogs he's awake until the early hours of the morning so I think he would be the last one dancing because of the time..

Who would bring the worst gift?

Joe sugg, I think it wouldn't be bad but it would be a joke present.

Who would be in charge of Christmas music?

Zoe sugg would have to be in charge of the Christmas music, I saw her vlog a few days ago and she had the Muppet's Christmas carol soundtrack. That's my favourite so I would put her in charge.

Who would be in charge of Christmas dinner?

Ben from sorted food. I can imagine that he would make the most amazing Christmas dinner ever.

Who would make the best snowman?

No one, theres no snow in England.

Who would win at all the games?

Jim and Tanya, I know I've said them already but they are both quite smart and competitive.

Who is most likely to knock over the Christmas tree?

Louise, I think she would have a few to many drinks and end up knowing the tree over.

Who would be the best Santa impersonator?

Joe sugg, if you've seen his impressions video then you'll agree. He is amazing at so many characters and I think he would do a great job impersonating Santa.

Well I hope you enjoyed that post and I hope you enjoyed my failed attempt at blogmas. Im taking the rest of December off but Ill be back in the new year.

I hope you all have lovely Christmases with your loved ones, if you don't celebrate Christmas then I hope you have a lovely day and enjoy the break off school and work. Thank you all for your support this year, its been tough but I've managed to get through it and I couldn't have done that without you all.

Lots of love,
Chloe xxx

Wednesday, 23 December 2015

Blogmas day 23 | Gingerbread house cupcakes

Hello lovelies,
For today's baking post I wanted to go really festive. I love baking for the people at work and they were very impressed with the cupcakes a made this week. I made gingerbread cupcakes with a golden syrup butter cream, topped with a mini gingerbread house.....The boy I work with did think I had put to much time into making them but I think it was worth it. Here's how I made them.

Ingredients |
150g unsalted butter, softened
200g caster sugar
250ml black treacle
2 large egg
2 large egg yolk
350g all-purpose flour, or plain flour
2tbsp cocoa powder
2 1/2tsp ground ginger
2tsp ground cinnamon
1tsp ground allspice
1tsp ground nutmeg
1/2tsp salt
2tsp baking soda
250ml cup hot milk
For the butter cream |
240g butter.
800g icing sugar.
Golden syrup.

For the gingerbread houses |
Follow my recipe for a big gingerbread house and you can create your own mini templates.

Step 1 |
Put your sugar and butter into a large mixing bowl and cream together the butter and sugar until it forms a paste.

Step 2 |
Add the eggs and the egg yolks to the mix and stir it all together. It might look like its split but when you add the flour it will all come back together.

Step 3 |
Measure out your black treacle, this is really sticky so be careful not to spill it or get it on your clothes, its a nightmare to get out. Stir this into the mix and make sure that everything is combined.

Step 4 |
In a separate bowl, put all the dry ingredients in apart from the bicarbonate of soda. Use a whisk to combine all the dry ingredients so that when you add this to the back treacle mix, it will combine evenly.

Step 5 |
Heat your milk and then add the bicarb. This will start a reaction that will help your cakes rise? I don't know why it is but that's what the recipe said, I'm no scientist so I can't get technical....maybe google it.

Step 6 |
Add the milk to your cake batter and mix it all together. This mix makes 24 cupcakes so I had to bake them separately in two tins. Pop your mix into your cases and bake for 20-25minutes. When they are done, take them out and leave them to cool on a cooling rack.

Step 7 |
Put the icing sugar and butter into a bowl and mix until you have a pale butter cream. I then added a few spoons of golden syrup to sweeten it. Its up to you how much you put in, just start with a little because you can always add more but can't take it away. To Finnish I put a little gingerbread house onto and dusted the cakes with cinnamon. You could make little gingerbread men for the top or just get some sprinkle, I just wanted the challenge and I think they turned out okay. Fair enough they aren't the prettiest houses but for a first attempt. Not bad.

My work mates loved them and my work friends dad thought its purchased the cake because it was that good. I think these went really well and I would love to see your bakes. If you bake these then please link to them in the comments or send me pictures to my twitter @daydreamawayxx

Lots of love,
Chloe xxx

Tuesday, 22 December 2015

Blogmas day 22 | Working in retail at Christmas

Hello lovelies,
Today I thought I would give you all a little insight into what its like for me working in retail over Christmas. I'm sure many of you can relate but for those of you who can't, sit back and maybe realise what you shouldn't be doing or saying to the people working in shops.

All till trained staff... |
This is the dreaded call that echoes round our store. For me its not an issue because I have refused to be till trained but when your department is incredibly busy itself and then two of your work chums get dragged out to checkouts.....that's rather irritating. Everyone dreads that call because no matter how much you like customers, nothing will prepare you for over four hours of scanning non stop.

Getting round the shop |
Theres nothing worse than going on your break only to find that you're going to get stuck behind hundreds of people all ramming their trolleys into you. All I wanted to do was to go to the canteen and a journey that usually takes 30 seconds to 5-10 minutes....I only have a 15 minute break.

Its taking to long |
This is what bugs me most. I work in the cafe of my store and all I get is people complaining about having to wait. I get it, no one wants to wait for food but its not like they don't get a warning. We work our bums off in my department and we always tell people a wait time, we always apologies and check that they are okay with how long they'll be waiting. Its like peoples manner just disappear at Christmas.

Can I have this for free? Its Christmas |
I had someone ask me this today and I honestly was a little shocked. Obviously my answer was no. I work in a supermarket, the place you go to buy food. Why on earth would I let you have it for free, can you imagine the conversation with my manager "Why haven't we taken any money today? Oh sorry everyone wanted it as a Christmas gift". I don't think that would go down well.

I want to speak with the manager |
No, just no. I'm sorry but the manager will tell you exactly the same thing that I've just said and they'll also be annoyed that I've dragged them away from whatever they were doing. Most of the time our managers just say to get the duty manager and that means we have to spend ages trying to find them in the store.

Longer store hours |
I don't really care that the shops stay open later, I just care that 5 minutes before we close and have a limited time to clean.....a whole family come in to have dinner or to do the weekly shop. Honestly its like people think we live in the shop, I have a home to go to and a warm and cosy bed to snuggle into so please can you just go to McDonald's or wait to do your shop tomorrow.

Lots of love,
Chloe xxx

Monday, 21 December 2015

Blogmas day 21 | Christmas playlist

Hello lovelies,
Today I'm feeling very festive and I think that's all down to the christmassy music I've been playing. I love a good Christmas song and my spotify play list has been full of the classics and ones that you maybe wouldn't think of.

Baby its cold outside |
I adore this song and its one that even though it doesn't mention christmas, I associate with the season. I love the cover that Giovanna and tom Fletcher did, their voice are pure gold and I know it really pathetic, but I sort of imagine me and someone singing it around Christmas time. Yeah I've reached that level of loneliness that me and my imaginary boyfriend are sitting around singing christmas songs....

Cold December night |
You can't beat a bit of buble at Christmas time. I found this song last year and I just haven't stopped loving it. I think its just so beautifully written and the lyrics are just pure perfection in my eyes. I can't not play this at Christmas, I mean as we speak its playing full volume in my headphones and I'm loving life.

One more sleep til Christmas |
From the Muppet's Christmas carol the sweet tones of Kermit the frogs voice is something I enjoy year after year. I especially like to play this on Christmas eve because well, then theres only one more sleep till Christmas. I'm also a bit of a pro on these lyrics and I'm not ashamed to say that I sing it in the Kermit the frog voice....What? I have to get into character.

All I want for Christmas |
You can't have Christmas without a bit of Mariah Carey. I love this song it I can't be the only one who sings this pretending that they can sing and realising that at the high not.....well you just sound like a screaming cat and you should never sing it again. Well I love it and this is a must have at Christmas.

Meghan trainor's home for Christmas |
I think this is what its called but I adore this song. I love Meghan trainor so this is just perfect for me, I also love her cover of mistletoe.

Man with the bag |
I love Giovanna Fletcher's cover of this song, I had actually never heard it before but I just think her voice is so perfect for this song. Its so upbeat and I have found myself singing this to myself at work....much to everyones horror.

Wonderful Christmas time |
Paul McCartney at Christmas is my favourite, this is just a classic here in the UK and I think this normally is played in most shops. I'm so happy that this has been playing no stop at work even though in no way do we have a wonderful time at work. At least not when there are customers.

Santa baby |
The Michael buble version is simply the best and am I the only one who thinks her makes this song sound a little bit sexy.....OK just me then.

Well I hope you liked my little play list of all the songs I've been loving this year. I feel like even though I do stick to the classics, I still find some little gems that I fall in love with.

Lots of love,
Chloe xxx

Sunday, 20 December 2015

Blogmas day 20 | No motivation

Hello lovelies,
I really don't want to write this post but I feel like I have to. I feel like I'm losing the drive and passion to write my Blogmas posts. I'm just putting to much pressure on myself to make them great that they are really bad. I love my blog but I think the pressure to write every single day is slowly but surely getting to me. 

I want to be able to write really amazing posts that have a meaning behind them, instead I'm just writing a really quick post after work and I'm not putting as much effort into my writing because I just do t have the time. I'm writing this post in the canteen at work because I won't really have time to do it tonight. If I'm not at work I'm baking and if I'm not baking I'm on a driving lesson. I feel like I've lost all my motivation and it really upsets me.

My blog is an extension of me and I know that I'm letting myself down, I know that none of you care if I write or not but I feel like there's a little part of my brain that programmed to write and blog and I hate it if I don't write.

I'm determined to make the last week of Blogmas the best I can. There a special baking post, I'll be posting twice on some days and I'm looking forward to shake for the last week of Blogmas with all of you.

The one thing that maybe I feel is going to drive me to finish blogmas is the fact this Christmas is just 5 days away and even though I'm working up until Wednesday, I have so much fun. I moan about work but I feel like they are a little extended family and its really nice to go into work and spend time with them. I also got really deep in conversation today with the girl I work with about my almost love life, I haven't shared that with anyone apart from you lovely lot. It was nice to talk to someone about it who sort of understand. Right I feel like I'm going to end this post here. I want to do a really fun week of blogging to end this year on a high note, so I'll love you and leave you and hope that you all come back tomorrow.

Lots of love,

Saturday, 19 December 2015

Blogmas day 19 | Lush snow angel bath melt

Hello lovelies,
Today I'm reviewing the lovely snow angel bath melt from lush. I have been saving this up for a few weeks because I really wanted to feel the benefit of the oils in it for my skin. I don't usually get bath melts from lush because I much prefer the look of the bath ballistics and the bubble bars, however this one just called out to me from the display and simply said buy me. Its so pretty and its covered in glitter, that's like heaven for me.

Here's what lush say about the snow angel bath melt "Dissolving into a flurry of snow, blanket your bath in white foam before revealing a shimmering golden glow. Rich in moisturising Fair Trade cocoa butter, with a delicate marzipan scent, and oodles of rose, benzoin and cassie absolute to treat winter skin to a softening, floral soak." If this doesn't leave you craving this bath melt, then I don't know what will. I was drawn to this product because of the pretty sparkles and also because I needed to buy all the Christmas range (I say needed because I thought you all wanted a Christmas lush haul....and I wanted all the range). 

Ingredients |
Sodium Bicarbonate, Fair Trade Organic Cocoa Butter, Citric Acid, Laureate 4, Cream of Tartar, Sodium Laureate Sulfate, Perfume, Benzoin Retinoid, Rose Absolute, Cassie Absolute, Gardenia Extract, Cornflour, Water (Aqua), Laurel Betaine, *Benzyl Benzoate, *Benzyl Cinnamate, *Cinnamal,Radiant gold lustre; Golden lustre; Gold glimmer lustre; Snowflake lustre,Colour 19140.

The smell of this bath melt makes my mouth water, it smells like almonds and marzipan which is just perfect for this time of year. I also love how when I got into the bath I instantly felt the benefits on my skin. For me, Shea butter is like my skins best friend and I love products with it in. I had a bath two days ago, Ive washed since then (I'm not dirty and don't smell, don't panic) but my skin still feels so moisturised after using this bath melt. If you have quite dry skin at this time of year then I would suggest using this bath melt as its done wonders for my skin and also its full of sparkle.

Do you use any bath melts from lush? let me know in the comments.

Lots of love,
Chloe xxx

Friday, 18 December 2015

Blogmas day 18 | The muppets christmas carol review

Hello lovelies,
Again I'm really sorry this post is so late. Ive spent the day making mini gingerbread houses for a bake that I'm taking into work on Sunday, its very stressful but they're all done now. So today I'm going to be revving one of my favourite films, the Muppet's Christmas carol.

I have loved this film since I was a little girl and I still find myself indulging in it each and every year. Here's what it says online about the film "The Muppets perform the classic Dickens holiday tale, with Kermit the Frog playing Bob Cratchit, the put-upon clerk of stingy Ebenezer Scrooge (Michael Caine). Other Muppets -- Miss Piggy, Gonzo, Fozzie Bear and Sam the Eagle -- weave in and out of the story, while Scrooge receives visits from spirits of three Christmases -- past, present and future. They show him the error of his self-serving ways, but the miserable old man seems to be past any hope of redemption and happiness". Now I'm sure you were all aware of the story but the normal one really doest interest me, I'm quite childish and the thought of the Muppet's and Michael Caine fills me with a lot of Christmas joy.

So I'm going to chat about each section, so the different ghosts that visits him through the night. The ghost of Christmas past always annoyed me when I was little. I just found that girl really annoying and I honestly don't know why, I think the story of his past is so sad but I really love the music that involved in this part of the film. The ghost of Christmas present is my favourite. I love this ghost so much because he's just such a friendly and lovable character. I love the songs he sings and I think its at this point that Ebeneser starts to see the joy in Christmas and maybe starts to change his ways. One of my favourite songs is it feels like Christmas, this is the perfect song to get me in the festive mood and I find myself playing this every year without fail. The ghost of Christmas yet to come scared me so much as a child and if I'm honest, still scares me a little now. Its just because theres no speech from him. Just a black cloak that hides his face and a slow walk that just sends shivers down my spine. The saddest part of the film for me is when he is crying over his own grave after seeing that no one came to his funeral and that no one cared that he had died.

I love it at the end when he goes round to the house where tiny Tim lived and saw that he was still alive, everyone comes together for Christmas and there are even more songs. I think the soundtrack to this film is amazing and I like to play this on spotify, it just reminds me a lot of my childhood and will always be a Christmas classic.

Lots of love,
Chloe xxx

Thursday, 17 December 2015

Blogmas day 17 | The work christmas party

Hello lovelies,
As some of you may have seen in Tuesdays post, i had my work Christmas meal. I wanted to do a little post about it and just have a general chatty post today. If you want to see Tuesday's post then just click here.

So my department went out for a Christmas meal/party on Tuesday which meant I had to go sort of dressy. I was actually wanting to go in my jeggings and my smart jumper but instead I opted for a floral skater dress and a black cardigan. I even curled my hair and did my make up, much to every ones surprise. So I had a driving lesson in the morning so when I got home, I hopped in the bath and relaxed for a good hour before I had the stress of getting ready. I used my lush cup o coffee face mask, washed my hair and make sure that I had shaved my legs.

I will admit that I had a few glasses of Caribbean twist before I left at 6.30. What can I Say? I didn't want to pay bar prices for my drinks. Anyway after my failed attempt to glamorises myself, I headed off to work to meet my work chums. It was really weird seeing everyone out of uniform and in actual people clothes. After everyone had arrived we then had to wait for our mini bus, at this point my friend pointed out that there may be a few nice young men at the place we were going. A bit more on that later.

Anyway me and the younger people I work with headed to the back with anther lovely women who is basically mummy's all of us in my department and I love that. I'm not proud of it but we sat at the back taking swigs of drink from my friends hip flask, I'm not one for sharing a mouthpiece but its Christmas and it was only four people, also it was sour which I now realise I had a good liking for.

Anyway we got there and had to wait around for a bit, there was a very fit and good look bar man who even the boy we were with agreed that he was gorgeous, its nice to have a wing man and wing woman who appreciated what he looked like. Half the women we were with had already had a few drinks which made it even more fun to be around. Dinner was a bit of a let down though, the started was vile. It tasted like the smell of cat food and I almost gagged several time. The main was alright and the dessert made me look like a complete child. I didn't like the black Forest brownie so I asked for just the ice cream, they then served it to me in a red little bowl with a wafer. Much to the amusement of the guys I work with, while everyone else had a grown up plate i had a child's bowl. It was Delicious though so jokes on them.

After a few glasses of wine and several conversations about how gorgeous the new barman was, the mummy of us all went to ask his name. That was a very big mistake....Lets just say that when you've grown up watching dick and Dom in the bungalow, you may end up in a screaming contest which involves the names of the barmen. We all had a laugh and I just want to say sorry to PAUL! ALAN! and of course TOM! haha.

I also feel a little bad because a girl from another department came to the meal, her mum works in our department. She is so lovely but I don't think she was prepared for how dirty minded we all are. I feel like I have got a dirty mind at times and I love a good innuendo but we are all very dirty minded and we will have a good joke. I feel like maybe she wasn't prepared for how bad we can be, especially after a few drink haha.

Anyway after several hours of dancing, drinking and eating we headed home at 1am much to my horror, I should have been tucked up in bed but its all good. A few more shots of sourz at the back of the bus let to a very odd conversation about werthers originals and male bits and pieces, if you know what I mean. Lets just say after what I was told and in the context, I will no longer enjoy a hard boiled butterscotch.....Anyway apart from I had an amazing night and it was so nice to go out with all my work friends. I can't wait until next years party and I also now want to go out and get myself a nice bottle of rainbow ice sour.

Lots of love,
Chloe xxx

Wednesday, 16 December 2015

Blogmas day 16 | Salted caramel reindeer cupcakes

Hello lovelies,
Sorry this is up quite late. I had a very late night last night and I've been stuck at work all day, not a very good mix but that doesn't matter now. Today I'm going to be showing you how I made my reindeer cupcakes. Like usual, I took these to work to test out my bake and they said they were amazing, some of my best yet.

Ingredients |
100g self-raising flour
20g cocoa powder
140g caster sugar
1 1/2tsp baking powder
a pinch of salt
40g unsalted butter, at room temperature
120ml whole milk
1 egg
¼tsp vanilla extract

For the butter cream |
300g icing sugar, sifted
100g unsalted butter, at room temperature
40g cocoa powder, sifted
40ml whole milk
For the filling |
Salted caramel sauce.

For the decoration |
White ready roll icing.
Black food colour gel.
Red food colour gel.

Step 1 |
Sift the flour, sugar, baking power, cocoa powder and salt into a large mixing bowl. Stir this with a wood spoon to combine all the ingredients 

Step 2 |
Next add the butter to the mix and then  use a mixer or a spoon to mix it all together, until you get a sand like consistency. After that, mix your egg, milk and vanilla together in a separate bowl and slowly pour this into the butter flour mix. Mix this together until everything is well combined and looks like a thick batter.

Step  3 |
Pour the mix equally into 12 cupcake cases, fill them about 3/4 full and then sprinkle in some dark chocolate chips. Pop them in the oven and bake for around 20-25minutes. 

Step 4 |
While your cakes cool you can make your chocolate butter cream. Pop your softened butter, icing sugar and cocoa powder into a bowl and start mixing. When this is done you can put this aside while you do stop 5.

Step 5 |
Grab a piping bag and fill it with your sales caramel sauce. Make a small hole in the top of all the cupcakes and then insert the piping bag and fill them until you feel pressure pushing on the bag. below is a picture of the ones I did, I also popped a little sauce on top and smoothed it over with a knife. I had a few vanilla ones because a few of the ladies at work don't like chocolate cake (I don't understand why).

Step 6 |
Grab your white royal icing and make 24 small balls. Pop them onto some grease proof and press each one down with your thumb to make them just thick circles. Next grab some more white icing and use the black food gel to colour it. When your have the right colour, take little amounts of the black and roll it into a tiny ball and place it onto the white eyes. They should resemble eyes at this point. Now grab some more white and the red food gel and get it to the red your happy with, roll out 12 small balls and then you have your noses.

Step 7 |
Use a piping bag to swirl some butter cream onto all your cupcakes. Next add your eyes and noses to the cupcakes. The finishing touch is to add two pretzels to look like antlers. I would suggest making a caramel and dipping them in, the caramel will set and then the pretzels might stay crunchy. Mine went a little soft, they still tasted nice but I think ill of that next time.


Lots of love,
Chloe xxx

Tuesday, 15 December 2015

Blogmas day 15 | Christmas party get ready with me!

Hello lovelies,
From the title you may be expecting some glamour post of me getting ready. I'm going out for the work Christmas meal tonight, its just my department so I know it will be very fun and we may end up drinking a tad to much. Its sort of glamours(wish) but there won't be any photos, you know what I'm like and if I put photos then people I know may find it. I will be showing you all the products I'm using and what I plan to so with them. Enjoy.

Here's all my make up ready to be applied to my hideous face. I'm going to attempt to make myself look hard decent and hopefully you will all like the products I'm using.

First I have my Ted baker blush compact. I got this in a gift set last year and I love it. Its so pretty and the packaging is rose gold. I'm not going to go mad with this, I don't want to look like coco the clown but I want just a little something on my cheeks.

Next I have my maybelline new york 220 powder. This is the natural beige powder and I love using this. Sometimes I forget and then I end up going out with a very shiny face, luckily I remembered to use it today.

I got this maybelline the blessed nudes pallet yesterday and I'm in love. Ive attempted a smokey eye look (Yes, I'm a little worried about this to) and I have used the two bottom right colours to attempt to make my eyes look lovely. It actually just looks like I've been punched in the face, oh well after a few drinks I'm sure no one will notice.

This next one is something that I just had to get. My friend at work always has the most amazing eye make up and her lashes look stunning, I had to know what she wore and I think it was this one. I chose waterproof as I know ill be giggling at lot tonight, I cry when I laugh so I wanted to protect my eyes from becoming pandas.

In an attempt to make my eyebrows like more socially acceptable, I'm using the collection eyebrow kit. Ive used the middle shade and just brushed it through my brows to give them a bit more definition. I then used the gel that comes with it to set my eye brows into place, not like they were going to just walk off half way through the night, oh you know what I mean.

I also used the No7 amazing eyes pencil to fill in the gaps where I may have over plucked them.

I got a new foundation because mine was definitely to orange for me, I got the maybelline dream satin liquid in shade 1. This is perfect for my skin tone and it doesn't feel like I'm wearing anything on my face.

I also have the benefit poise tint and I used a tiny but of this on my cheeks and then blended it with my real techniques multi task brush.

Here are all the brushed I used in the process. I also curled my hair which looks awful and then painted my nails or stubs as they currently look awful.

Right I'm off to have a few (To many) drinks with the lovely girls and boys from work. 

Lots of love,
Chloe xxx